"The first few levels are pitifully easy and repetitive as hell. Then, towards the end, the difficulty level reaches the WTF?!? phase that horrid NES games seemingly took pride in achieving as Wally, who isn't the easiest guy to control in mid-air, is stuck doing a number of precise jumps with death being the price of failure. And all he's trying to do is get to his uncle's house for a party. Maybe Wally should scrap his morality lessons and hang out with Ricky Rat — all he has to do is jump some dogs and dodge some birds to visit him!"
There comes a time in a dude's life where he has to reflect upon certain things he needs to change and the coming of a new year is as good a time as any.
Let's face it -- I like to party like there's no tomorrow, but I'm not getting any younger. It's getting harder and harder to wake up bright and early after a long night of pounding the brewskis and I really hate saying things in the morning like, "Why am I facedown in my bathtub? Wait! This isn't MY bathtub! Where am I??!?!!?" It's very disorienting -- probably moreso for whomever's house I broke into to crash, but not my cup of tea, either.
So, obviously, a lifestyle change is in order, but for a hard-rockin' dude like me, that's easier said than done. I needed help. And that's where the fantastical adventures of Wally Bear and the No Gang come into play. Because what could better help a grown man with his growing substance abuse problems than a bunch of little animals yammering about how cool it is to JUST SAY NO?
So, I turned on my NES to see the gnarly visage of a bear that looks kinda like a dog preparing to do some sort of crunk move on his skateboard. His coordination uninhibited by booze and pills, Wally and his mad skating skills were already setting a great example for me. Because, after all, skateboarders and other extreme sports participants are the LAST folks I'd expect to ever drink a beer or toke on reefer!
Things got a lot more confusing after I started to play. Oh, on the surface, I was still getting a powerful, uplifting message, as Wally's parents told him to collect his friends and go to a nice, clean party at Uncle Gary Grizzly's house while remembering to JUST SAY NO! But from looking at Wally's house and his family, I began to wonder if everyone was as clean as they were pretending to be.
Staff review by Rob Hamilton (December 30, 2007)
Rob Hamilton is the official drunken master of review writing for Honestgamers.
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