Revolution X (Genesis) review
"The New Order Nation is ruining everything, attempting to put an end to anything resembling fun. So, as this oppressive army slowly tries to take over the world, what devastating thing do they do next? Kidnap the President of the United States? Invade and take over countries? Threaten everyone with nuclear weapons? Nope, it's much, much worse than all of that. Brace yourselves... they abduct Aerosmith. Oh my God, it's on now. Of course, you just happen to be at the club where they were ab..."
The New Order Nation is ruining everything, attempting to put an end to anything resembling fun. So, as this oppressive army slowly tries to take over the world, what devastating thing do they do next? Kidnap the President of the United States? Invade and take over countries? Threaten everyone with nuclear weapons? Nope, it's much, much worse than all of that. Brace yourselves... they abduct Aerosmith. Oh my God, it's on now. Of course, you just happen to be at the club where they were abducted, and you singlehandedly decide to take down the entire army. Because they kidnapped Aerosmith.
With your sonic assault weapon in hand, which shoots out CDs (because Music is the Weapon™!), you slowly lay waste to the horde of NON soldiers that come spilling out of every corner of this club. You take your sweet time as you slowly move to the left and right in this light gun title, while dozens of these guys go running and ducking around. Eventually, after using up three or four continues, since your lifebar drains like crazy, you make it to the band's dressing room. As you destroy the mirror, a hidden video plays with Steven Tyler telling you that you must recover their car and stop the NON. Then, in a moment that defies logic, he throws his car keys to you.
Afterwards, you take control of a pimped-out NON helicopter (you use none of its weapons, obviously), and fly around the city searching for the car. But it's not as easy as it sounds. Another NON helicopter pops out of nowhere, giving you hell with its machine guns and missiles. You try your best to destroy the missiles before they hit the screen, but you can't do anything about the machine guns, so your life drains away no matter what. You get a break as it mysteriously flies away, but you'll be pitted against something much more evil in its place: rollerskating NON soldiers. Whoa. After an unnecessarily long sequence with them, you're back wih the copter, which you finally destroy. At that point, you find Aerosmith's car. Their weaponless car. Despite having a powerful helicopter, you take it anyway. Because it's Aerosmith's car, duh.
Things just get more absu... awesome from there. Somewhere in the Middle East, in the band's car, you'll slowly destroy a school bus that's on its way to pick up kids for brainwashing. Defying logic once again, the rollerskating soldiers return, keeping up pace with both a speeding bus and your Lamborghini. And somewhere else in the world, you'll invade a chemical plant, where they use mind-control chemicals and turn countless, half-naked blondes into old, wrinkled corpses. Here you'll, yet again, face countless NON soldiers that pop up in front of the screen and force more continues out of you. Thank goodness your gun has auto-fire and an unlimited amount of bullets. That way, you can... not put much effort into anything. Well, at least you get to destroy a giant, green, gooey skull that throws its bouncing eyeballs at the end of the stage. That has to count for something.
Yeah, Revolution X is just as it sounds: a silly game with an absurd premise that's not that fun to play. Maybe if the developers worked on making the game more enjoyable, it... it would still be a silly game with an absurd premise. But at least it would've been a blast to play.
Community review by pickhut (June 26, 2007)
These Dragon taglines are too easy.
If you enjoyed this Revolution X review, you're encouraged to discuss it with the author and with other members of the site's community. If you don't already have an HonestGamers account, you can sign up for one in a snap. Thank you for reading!