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DON'T CRASH GO (3DS) artwork

DON'T CRASH GO (3DS) review


"DON'T CRASH GO has the approximate longevity of a balloon in a volcano."


DON'T CRASH GO is the most recent 3DS offering from RCMADIAX, a developer that specializes in one-trick software. The trick this time is that you're driving down the road, collecting coins while avoiding boxes.

To me, that setup sounded like it could serve as the foundation for a simple but addictive arcade-style experience, and the visual design in a screenshot I saw looked promising. So I paid my $1.49 (the standard price for releases from this publisher, it seems) and prepared to be amazed. Okay, that's a lie. I prepared to be mildly entertained. Unfortunately, even those modest expectations set me up for disappointment.

When the game loads, a repetitive beat starts thumping from your speakers. On the top screen, most of the game's proper title appears, along with your directions: "USE +CONTROL PAD LEFT AND RIGHT TO STEER COLLECT COINS, AVOID BOXES". To start the game, you tap the "Play" icon on the lower screen. For some reason, pressing the A button won't work. You have to use your finger or the stylus.

Once the game actually begins, you find yourself cruising along a three-lane highway. Blue and white objects--some squares, some circles--appear at the top of the screen and you rapidly advance toward them. You can press Left and Right on the d-pad, as instructed, to change lanes so that run into the circles and avoid the squares. If you hit a square, that's the end of your run. If you miss a circle, your run also ends. Sad tuba music plays and then you're booted back to the title screen. Care to try again?

DON'T CRASH GO (3DS) imageDON'T CRASH GO (3DS) image


Although it's simple, the concept had potential. However, the order in which everything appears is completely random and there are some situations where a coin is immediately followed by a block. That doesn't have to spell your end, but a coin may also appear in the far left lane as you are tooling along in the right lane. You have to rapidly tap Left, twice in succession, and hope a box isn't in your way. If a box is positioned in the center lane ahead of the coin you need to gather, you likely will crash. If you wait for the box to pass, you probably won't make it left soon enough, or you'll arrive just in time to collect the coin and crash before you can steer back to the right. I have played a few times, and my best score is 26.

You'll have to take my word on that, of course. Most mobile and handheld games preserve your top score. A lot of them even offer online leaderboards. DON'T CRASH does neither of those things. In a single play session, your highest score won't last any longer than the screen that is displaying when you happen to crash or miss a coin. It's not even reflected on the title screen, and certainly your score isn't saved when you exit out of the game and reload it at a later date.

If in the past you have played and enjoyed stuff like Flappy Bird, this latest affair from RCMADIAX might hold a certain appeal. However, the fact that it doesn't even save a record of your highest score (let alone give you the opportunity to show it to online friends) is the sort of oversight most players won't be in a hurry to forgive.

DON'T CRASH GO feels slightly more complete than some of the developer's other recent releases, even though its final name seems to have been settled upon after the logo was designed, but the game's flaws make the entire experience feel pointless. I'd be surprised if most folks load it a second time, let alone a third or a fourth.

1/5

honestgamer's avatar
Staff review by Jason Venter (April 22, 2017)

Jason Venter has been playing games for 30 years, since discovering the Apple IIe version of Mario Bros. in his elementary school days. Now he writes about them, here at HonestGamers and also at other sites that agree to pay him for his words.

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Feedback

If you enjoyed this DON'T CRASH GO review, you're encouraged to discuss it with the author and with other members of the site's community. If you don't already have an HonestGamers account, you can sign up for one in a snap. Thank you for reading!

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Nightfire posted April 22, 2017:

I must say, I am quite enjoying watching you review truckloads of garbage.
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honestgamer posted April 22, 2017:

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. It seems like someone should be!
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overdrive posted April 22, 2017:

I agree. With all my KemcoReviews, I figured I'd be a shoo-in to win the prestigious "Scraping The Bottom of the Barrel" award. But I might be wrong with what Jason's subjecting himself to right now.

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