Happy Fourth of July, all you Americans out there! I can tell this is gonna be a great one, with fireworks, BBQs, and love of country. Best of all, al-Qaeda's probably TO'd that America's so awesome. Take that, terrorists!

Today, I'm going to discuss one of the most annoying things that a guidesmith such as myself experiences: scam mail. When a guide is written, the author almost always puts his/her email adress on it, so people can email said author with compliments, constructive criticism, tips, corrections, etc.

However, this person comes across as a great target for scammers. I have recieved a whopping two emails concerning my FIRST guide (for Star Fox 64), meaning that a good deal of the email I get nowadays is scam. The scammers writing these messages are either:

a.) falsely representing the Bank of Africa in Burkina Faso, asking me to be a claimant for a foreigner who died in an accident, along with his entire family, who happened to have a lot of money, or

b.) telling me about their pharmacy website, where I can get drugs and medicine cheap-o.

To provide a visual aid, I have included an example scam email from a "Mr. Ben Simon:"
==========
FROM THE DESK OF MR.BEN SIMON,
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA.(B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA FASO
PRIVATE TEL :00226 78 81 75 32

GREETING'S TO YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.

DEAR FRIEND,
I MAKE THIS APPEAL WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT ANY FACTS OR OPINION
EXPRESSED BY ME ARE GIVING IN CONFIDENCE AND SOLELY FOR YOUR
PERSONALIN FORMATION AND USE.

I AM MR.BEN SIMON,THE HEAD OF FILE DEPARTMENT OF BANK OF AFRICA
(B.O.A)
HERE IN OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
IN MY DEPARTMENT WE DISCOVER AN ABANDONED SUM OF (FIFTEEN MILLION U.S.A
DOLLARS,$15.000 000 000 )) IN AN ACCOUNT THAT BELONGE TO ONE OF OUR
FOREIGN
CUSTOMER WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS FAMILY IN JULY 2003 PLANE CRASH.

SINCE WE GOT THIS INFORMATION ABOUT HIS DEATH, WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING
HIS NEXT OF KIN TO COME OVER AND CLAIM HIS MONEY BECAUSE WE CANNOT
RELEASE IT UNLESS SOMEBODY APPLIES FOR IT AS NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION TO
THE
DECEASED AS INDICATED IN OUR BANKING GUIDLINGS AND LAWS BUT UNFORTUNATE
WE
LEART THAT ALL HIS SUPPOSED NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION DIED ALONGSIDE WITH
HIM
AT THE PLAN CRASEH LEAVING NOBODY BEHIND FOR THE CLAIM.

IT IS THEREFORE UPON THIS DISCOVERY THAT I NOW DECIDED TO MAKE THIS
BUSINESS
PROPOSAL TO YOU AND RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OR
RELATION
TO THE DECEASED FOR THE SAFETY AND SUBSEQUENT DIS BURSEMENT SINCE
NOBODY IS
COMING FOR IT AND WE DONT' WANT THIS MONEY TO GO INTO THE BANK TREASURY
AS
UNCLAIMED BILL.
THE BANKIN LAW AND GUIDLINE HERE STIPULATE THAT IF SUCH MONEY REMAINED
UNCLAIMED AFTER FOUR YEARS,THEMONEY WILL BE TRANSFER INTO THE BANK
TREASURY
AS UNCLAIMED FUND.

THE REQUEST OF FOREIGNER AS NEXT OF KIN IN THIS BUSINESS IS OCCASSIONED
BY
THE FACT THAT THE COSTUMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND BURKINABLE CANNOT STAND
AS
NEXT OF KIN TO A FOREIGNER.
I AGREE THAT 30% OF THIS MONEY WILL BE FOR YOU AS A RESPECT TO THE
PROVISION
OF A FORIEGN ACCOUNT,10% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR EXPENESES INCURRED
DURING THE
BUSINESS AND 60% WOULD BE FOR ME.
THEREAFTER, I WILL VISIT YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE DISBURSEMENT ACCORDING TO
THE
PERCENTAGE INDICATED THEREFORE, TO ENABLE THE IMMEDIATE TRANSFER OF
THIS
FUND TO YOU AS ARRANGED, YOU MUST APPLY FRIST TO THE BANK AS RELATION
OR
NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED WITH A TEXT OF APPLICATION FORM THAT I WILL
SEND
TO YOU WHEN I HEAR FROM
YOU,SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND TO ME YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER AND
YOUR
FAX NUMBER FOR EASY AND EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND LOCATION WHERE IN
THE
MONEY WILL BE REMITTED.

UPON RECEPIT OF YOUR REPLY, I WILL SEND YOU THE TEXT OF APPLICATION BY
EMAIL
TO FILL IN YOUR BANKING INFORMATION AND APPLIED TO THE BANK AS THE NEXT
OF
KIN.I WILL NOT FAIL TO TELL YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS HITCH- FREE
THAT
YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY ATOM OF FEAR AS ALL REQUIRED ARRANGEMENT
HAVE
BEEN MADE FOR THE TRANSFER.YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME
IMMEDIATELY AS YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER.

YOUR FAITHFULLY,
Mr BEN SIMON.
==========

Yes, that is the actual, unedited copy of the email. Cute how they think I'd believe it.

Got any scam mail plaguing your Inbox? Reply to this entry and tell me about it. We will all go together when we go! (That's also the title of a song by Tom Lehrer, by the by.) Besides, I'm sure my readers and I will appreciate a few laughs.

Also, I'd like to leave a message for all scammers who send me this stuff: I HAVE YOUR EMAIL, TOO!!!

Hehehe. Bye, all!

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