Lady Kara strikes again!
October 09, 2006

She's done it. Lady Kara has a fourth chapter.

Unfortunately, the chapter starts out with a lemon scene. That's right. A lemon scene between Lady Kara and Caim. And for those of you not familiar with the term "lemon" it means teh Pr0n. So, Lady Kara and Caim have teh sex111 again. >_< They just did like, eight hours ago!

Because of this horribly written lemon, I could not enjoy the rest of the chapter. However, there was one thought going throughout the entire chapter: that Furiae was in danger. For example:

Both of us were breathing hard from our initmate encounter.

"Thank you Caim."

"For what?" He asked brushing a strand of hair from my eyes.

"For coming after me yesterday. I'm glad Angelus had told you what I had planned on doing. I'm sorry I had gone after him. I was blinded by my rage." I said looking as him as I placed my hand against his cheek. "I was thinking earlier."

"What about?" Caim asked.

"I have a feeling Furiae is going to be in danger." I said sitting up.

"What do you mean?" Caim asked looking worriedly at me.

"Do you remeber what I said yesterday about my power?" I asked looking at him.

"That it can bring the dead back to life. And that was why Liam wanted you." Caim said.

"Do you remeber what I said after I had healed your wound?" I asked.

"That if you choose to. You can become a Goddess." Caim said then realized why Furiae was going to be in danger.

"We must warn her of the danger." I said looking at him.

"Okay," Caim said getting up and gotten dressed.

....Wasn't Furiae already in danger BEFORE Lady Kara's Mary-Sue powers came into play? She's the Goddess, of course she's going to be in danger!

But, I thought to myself as I was reading this for the first time, "Lizzy, you're obviously not well-versed in the realm of Drakengard, since you can't figure out why Lady Kara's necromancer powers would put Furiae in danger. And you must be so oblivious to the characterization of the characters that you did not see that Caim was a raging sex monster. For shame."

Another question: why would Lady Kara WANT to become the Goddess? As Furiae has already demonstrated at this point, it really sucks to be one. You're always in pain. You can't live your own life. And, as Caim lovingly pointed out, she can't be with her Lord Caim! Why the Hell would she aspire to be one?? But then again, I apparently do not know Drakengard as well as this writer. >_<

The writer does put in a redundant dialogue between Lady Kara and Furiae to possibly explain to the rather clueless readers of why Furiae might be in danger:

"I beleive Liam was also after me because I could be a Goddess. I have a bad feeling you are going to be in danger Furiae. You are the Goddess after all." I said looking worriedly at her.

....Unfortunately, it didn't prove too enlightening.

Then, there's a spelling error that she keeps on putting in the writing: "eachother". Since it keeps happening, I really think that she thinks that it's spelled correctly. For example:

"Why are you asking where Kara is? You already know she's dead. You had her and my brother fight eachother yesterday." Furiae said angrily.

Whenever "eachother" comes up, I always imagine it to be some kind of panda statue or possibly a tooth brush.

Then there's the fact that the story of Lady Kara is written in first person. That wouldn't bother me if the narration would stick to what she encountered and nothing more. However, she goes on to narrate stuff that she could never possibly know, like a part in one of the earlier chapters where she'd been knocked unconscious and KEPT NARRATING! What the hell?? HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON??

...But I write it off as some other undiscovered Mary Sue power. There's always going to be more.

So there. The main summary of the fourth chapter is that Lady Kara and Caim boink, then Furiae gets kidnapped. Again.


Most recent blog posts from lizzy yosten...

Genj Genj - October 09, 2006 (09:10 AM)
I hope this fan fic eventually breaks into like a huge concert to save the world with the dragon on drums.
zigfried zigfried - October 09, 2006 (06:45 PM)
Wait... why is Caim talking? And since when does he "look worriedly" at people? What am I missing here?

The only thing I can figure is that this is a prequel of sorts... but why would someone blatantly disregard the source material in so many ways?

(Maybe I should read through your past blog posts. I discovered it just now.)

lasthero lasthero - October 09, 2006 (06:56 PM)
Geez, Zig, get with the program. :P
zigfried zigfried - October 09, 2006 (08:23 PM)
Don't get smart with me, boy, or else I'll have to HULK-SMASH you.

silverishness silverishness - October 10, 2006 (06:57 AM)
Yeah, you will have to go through the past blog posts concerning this fic. They're the really long ones, most likely. But it's good to see a new face...

Main summary of the fic: Caim has been turned into a lovey-dovey talking retard who only cares for his Lady Kara. It's hideous and horrible, yet I find amusement in how horribly it's written.

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