It continues
September 11, 2006

My last rant was about the horribleness that is "For the Love of a Lord". Well, now that I have read the evilness that is chapter three, I really am at a loss.

You see, I have a firm belief that a writer can progress and become better as time goes on, no matter how sucky he/she is in the beginning. But this story has proved me wrong. Not only does this chapter three continue the subpar grammer, paragraph structure and god awful dialogue, the plot takes a rather expected twist. Apparently, Caim has an evil twin brother named Liam.

That's right, folks. And evil twin brother. And not only does he hate Caim, he wants to use Kara in order to hurt Caim. How predictable and corny. Drakengard just turned into a daytime soap opera, guys! But that's not even the best part! Oh no. So, Liam kisses Kara and somehow, that brainwashes her. When Caim and his menagerie -who are all very worried about Lady Kara, mind you- come along, Kara says to Caim that Liam is her "lover" (guh) and she doesn't recognize Caim. Caim, of course, is shattered, so when Liam commands that Kara kill Caim, Caim does nothing. Although, Kara's mental voice is still her own, so she asks Caim to kill her before she kills him. "I can't..." he says.

Of course, Kara runs him through -I think... the nararation was so horrible, I really don't know what happened- and they run off with Kara out of the castle and into the surrounding forest. Amazingly enough, Kara has healing powers and heals Caim and herself. But shew couldn't use this before because it's a holy power and if she misuses it, she dies. -_-... So, then she says that she could become the Goddess if she wants to, and Caim, being the pussy that he is in this fic, says, "But if you do, how will you and I be together?" At this point, I almost shout at the moniter, "RETARDED AUTHOR! FURIAE'S ALREADY THE GODDESS!"

But I didn't, because I'm in a public place. -_-

However, the best part is at the end. (My God, there's a way this can get worse?) Yes. Well, I cannot summarize this, for it will take away from the full effect, so here it is:

That night Caim and I had made love. We had laid in eachother's arms and smiled as we slept peacefully.

"Caim?" I whispered looking at him.

"Yeah?" He asked back.

"I'm sorry about today. I never should have left. And if Angelus hadn't told you what I did. The child I'm carrying might have been that bastard's." I said looking down.

"Child?" Caim asked as his eyes opened wide as he sat up and looked at me. "You're pregnant, Kara?"

I smiled at him and said, "we shall have our own prince or princess soon."

Caim had looked at me with happiness in his eyes. He brought his lips down to mine as he kissed me passionately.

"I love you," he said pulling his lips away from mine.

"I love you too, my love," I said smiling at him.

We had gone to sleep with peaceful dreams that night.

-

And as I almost die of crying/laughing/projectile vomiting, pregnancy enters the picture! How horrid! (How does Kara even know she's pregnant right after sex? Another power? OH EM GEE!) And yet again, the author has yet to realize that Caim is not a king, he is merely a Lord. His kingdom was destroyed when the Empire killed his parents and he went and joined the Union. Ha ha, but does that matter? Of course not. Ha ha ha.

I'm sorry for inflicting this upon you guys, but I have to let people know how people are writing. It's just so terrible. Oh, and the author has demanded no flames, because that's rude. How dare someone say that the story sucks when it really does? Blasphemy. Of course, I don't want it to be taken down because I find morbid amusement in it. So, I left a review of love so that she might put up more. Ha ha ha.

Ja!

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lasthero lasthero - September 11, 2006 (09:55 AM)
I always imagined that Caim would be the evil twin brother, if such a relationship were to ever exist...

Ah, Jesus Christ...I just read the part where they have sex...

Edit: Read your latest chapter. Nice stuff. Especially liked the riding sequence near the end and the 'conversation' with Inuart.
Genj Genj - September 11, 2006 (11:33 AM)
You know what would have saved that fan fic? If Kara's vagina was magical and spoke to them.
lasthero lasthero - September 11, 2006 (11:34 AM)
Wait till chapter four...
silverishness silverishness - September 11, 2006 (03:50 PM)
Unfortunately, there is no chapter four as of yet. I'm going to try and coax her into writing more.

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