Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by Jason Venter and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Still Life review (XBX) Reviewed on July 12, 2005 I use the term ‘playing’ rather loosely. Still Life doesn’t usually feel like a game. Instead, it’s like reading an interesting mystery novel but all of the pages are stuck together and you have to fight just to keep reading. Though you do control the protagonists directly, there’s not much to do with them but walk from place to place, talk to people and maybe solve some irritating puzzles along the way.	1.5/5
	Conker: Live & Reloaded review (XBX) Reviewed on June 23, 2005 Each location contains a few attractions and links to one or two other zones. You’ll have to dash between them throughout your adventure if you want to uncover everything, Metroid-style. This was probably intended to make you feel like you’re really exploring a beautiful cartoon world, but the result is just a lot of dull backtracking. It’s not like enemies suddenly return when you re-visit a given area.	3/5
	Come See Me Tonight 2 review (PC) Reviewed on June 16, 2005 Suddenly, all you care to do is skip through the text and sleep with the girl of your choice. Text, text, text, sex, text, text, text, text, sex. Eventually, the pattern gets so tedious that you’re tempted to cycle through everything. Yes, that includes the sex. When a hentai game has you weary enough that you don’t even find yourself interested in the bountiful bosoms, you know something’s wrong.	2.5/5
	Little My Maid review (PC) Reviewed on June 10, 2005 Days in Little My Maid pass based on how much stamina you have remaining. This is neat in that it makes you feel like you have more control over the game’s progression, but it’s actually deceptive. Playing around with your exploration options soon reveals that you can only wander the slightest bit from the beaten path before you hit a dead end and have to get back to your main form of amusement: sex with your hosts.	3.5/5
	True Lies review (SNES) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 Considering all the options available these days, there’s no excuse for True Lies to continue existing. Someone should gather the cartridges, bundle them with a two-ton weight and toss them into a massive swimming pool. Then maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger can fire a rocket launcher at them, just for good measure. The world would be a better place.	0.5/5
	Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team review (SNES) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 There’s a reason for this irritating flaw, though: Rare wanted you to play with a friend. Though the game lets thugs gang up on you and throw you into an endless circle of punishment, you and a buddy can turn the tables. One of you can be a toad, the other a human. Or maybe you both like characters named after skin ailments. Whatever the case, having a friend along improves the experience.	1.5/5
	Giga Wing review (DC) Reviewed on May 08, 2005 While it’s true that you can hang near the bottom of the screen and weave like nobody’s business, such tactics aren’t nearly as much fun as worming your way right into the thick of things. Take out a foe from a distance and you can gather small icons that drift through the air. Really move in for the kill and as your adversary bursts into flames, massive remnants gravitate toward you and boost your score into the stratosphere.	3.5/5
	Do You Like Horny Bunnies? review (PC) Reviewed on May 06, 2005 As Yukari finishes up with his chores and the restaurant winds down toward closing time, what will he do? You can have him clean the bathrooms, check the hallway, or just relax. No matter your decision, sex will likely result. Generally, it is preceded by emotional anguish, and the graphical depiction will be accompanied by plenty of bland descriptions of the sex.	3/5
	Super Off Road review (SNES) Reviewed on May 05, 2005 Whereas playing alone gets old quickly, it’s hard to tire of the multi-player option. The true fun here comes from consistently finishing just ahead of your human opponent, then talking trash as he can barely afford any upgrades in the garage and you’re busy buying expensive boosts for your motor.	3.5/5
	Looney Tunes: Space Race review (DC) Reviewed on April 30, 2005 The game depends too much on those gag items for its own good. There are moments where things get downright frantic and every racer seems to be throwing down anvils and storm clouds like they’re going out of style. Racing jets are piling up everywhere and flying off the edge, and really it’s either a total blast (because you’re surviving) or it’s frustrating (because you’re not). It seems there are no in-betweens.	3/5
	The Sims review (PC) Reviewed on April 28, 2005 Underneath the slick interface, beneath the elevator music and the gibberish we’re to take as conversation, The Sims is just a waste of time. It may amuse you for hours, days or even weeks. For those hours and for the sadistic relationship you can share with your unfortunate sim, the package is arguably worth a purchase. But in the end, you’ll grow to despise it.	2/5
	Joe & Mac review (SNES) Reviewed on April 18, 2005 Besides the fact that Joe and Mac toss weapons as if their arms are made of string cheese, there’s the matter of narrow platforms. Most of these are saved for the end of the game, in the last level or two. It’s easy to spend a few lives just trying to make it across a chasm, thanks to the tendency your chosen caveman has to pass through ledges because of faulty hit detection. Even when you don’t have to worry about instant death from such matters, you have to remember that you move slowly and compensate for it.	2.5/5
	Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga review (PS2) Reviewed on April 05, 2005 If you make a stupid blunder, the enemy will take advantage of it. Similarly, if you happen to manage something clever or you’ve learned the right spells, you can trick the enemy into wasting its turns with ineffectual magic. The robust combat system allows you to give up half a turn if you don’t want a particular character to attack, so finding yourself in battle with one of your three heroes ill-equipped isn’t the end of the world.	4/5
	Pick Me, Honey! review (PC) Reviewed on April 03, 2005 How seriously can you take a game when the most colorful cast member is the protagonist’s testicles? Reiji’s unit displays more emotion than any of the female diversions. It grows angry and rigid, explores moments of honesty, twitches, pulsates and even finds itself surprised by certain circumstances. In contrast, the girls are as one-dimensional as you may imagine.	3/5
	Casual Romance Club review (PC) Reviewed on March 26, 2005 Suddenly, it’s not so awesome that you’re given so much freedom, because the way the game is set up makes taking advantage of your options unpractical. More than in any other hentai game I’ve played, earning the nudity becomes a tedious chore. Even worse, you don’t get to see everything. There are mosaic blurs over anything below the waist.	2.5/5
	The Sagara Family review (PC) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 Learning about each of the Sagara women really does become an enticing mystery, made all the sweeter by the occasional chance to fool around with one under the sheets, or on the couch in the front room, or in the bathtub. Even after you’ve finished one trip through, it can be fun and rewarding to play through again (and again) because just a simple choice here or there can affect so much.	4/5
	Hitomi: My Stepsister review (PC) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 And so it is that I should discuss the sex scenes. After all, they’re your reward for playing. You’re certainly not working at the project to increase your reflexes. And because it’s impossible to not finish the game (the most taxing project is to decide which of the two options will lead to the sex scene you most want or haven’t seen before), the only satisfaction comes from the nudity.	2.5/5
	Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time review (PS2) Reviewed on March 02, 2005 At this point, you have two options. Either you can mash buttons like crazy and hope for the best, or you can press the 'L1' button. Go with the second choice and the game will stutter. You'll relive the last few seconds you played... backwards. In this manner, fatal dives into a sea of spikes and even poorly-timed jumps that would otherwise lead to frustrating backtracking can be avoided.	4/5
	OutRun2 review (XBX) Reviewed on February 19, 2005 Though your car flips end-over-end after a collision and lands on the roadway pointed exactly where you need to drive, such diversions cost you precious seconds you can’t possibly afford to lose. While your female passenger looks at you and asks you what you’re doing, or if you’re going to give up, you’ll find yourself mashing the accelerator in frustration, to no effect. But this isn’t a flaw in the game’s design. It simply means you need to drive better.	4.5/5
	WarioWare: Touched! review (DS) Reviewed on February 18, 2005 With only a few exceptions, this is all done with your stylus. That’s what differentiates this game from the original in the franchise. Adapting to the new style won’t take you long at all, and suddenly you’ll wonder how you ever played this sort of thing before (assuming you have, of course).	3/5

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