Review Archives (Staff Reviews)
You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Pooyan review (NES)Reviewed on May 19, 2013Pooyan is one of those games that only ends when you die, which means, whatever you do, your children will be devoured by wolves. Grim! |
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10-Yard Fight review (NES)Reviewed on May 19, 201310-Yard Fight's primitive presentation and mechanics are more detrimental to the game than favorable. |
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Kick Master review (NES)Reviewed on May 17, 2013With a name like Kick Master, you pretty much know exactly what you’re going to get. |
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Blades of Steel review (NES)Reviewed on May 17, 2013Grab a couple controllers, a couple of drinks, and a couple of good buds and spend an evening working on that slapshot. You won’t regret it. |
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Comix Zone review (GEN)Reviewed on May 17, 2013Comix Zone, a three-issue miniseries that sadly never became an ongoing title. |
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Lemmings review (NES)Reviewed on May 17, 2013There are only so many times you can listen to the Can-Can while your precious lemmings are murdered. |
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Mario and Donkey Kong: Minis on the Move review (3DS)Reviewed on May 13, 2013Yet another 3DS eShop puzzler that comes out of nowhere and is tons of fun. |
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Metro: Last Light review (PC)Reviewed on May 13, 2013With every journey to the surface, the Moscow skyline is presented as something awe-inspiring yet imposing, and yet it is only ever seen through the cracked visor of a gas mask – a visor that you must frequently, manually wipe clean of dirt and blood. Should you get too absorbed, the clock on your filter quite literally reminds you that your time spent up here is limited – that for as dank and gloomy as Moscow's subway system is, that's where humanity belongs now. |
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Astro Robo Sasa review (NES)Reviewed on May 12, 2013Flying with weapon recoil is an interesting idea that has now been used and never needs to be revisited. Thanks, Astro Robo Sasa. |
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Commando review (NES)Reviewed on May 11, 2013What sets Commando apart from its contemporaries is the sheer intensity of the action |
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Vay review (SCD)Reviewed on May 11, 2013And then, right in the middle of all of that are light-hearted elements such as a horribly flatulent fairy who propels you across an ocean with her gas, a random encounter bull-man called "Retardotaur" and random townspeople who break the fourth wall to remind you that you're playing a video game. Wacky stuff like this works in a game like EarthBound, because most of that game has a somewhat whimsical outlook on things. With Vay, it's just distracting nonsense, like if Hamlet took a pie to the face while staring at Ophelia's body. |
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Mappy review (NES)Reviewed on May 11, 2013So hey, how's that Mappy Championship Edition game coming along, Namco? ... Namco...? |
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Zeno Clash II review (PC)Reviewed on May 07, 2013It's bigger, badder, and WTFier, but it still needs some fine-tuning. |
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Deadly Premonition: The Director's Cut review (PS3)Reviewed on May 07, 2013When local woman Anna Graham is found strung up to a tree and completely gutted, FBI agent Francis York Morgan (York, for short) is called to the little mountain hamlet of Greenvale to investigate. Greenvale is no ordinary town, which is perfect for York since he’s no ordinary federal agent. |
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Labyrinth X review (X360)Reviewed on May 04, 2013Trial and error so tedious, it even takes the gleam off barely-covered anime tits. |
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Captain Commando review (SNES)Reviewed on May 04, 2013Not only was blood removed from the game, but the boss named "Blood" got his name changed to the less-intimidating "Boots" (to reflect his kick-heavy offense). |
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E.V.O.: The Search for Eden review (SNES)Reviewed on May 01, 2013E.V.O.: The Search for Eden really shouldn’t be fun. It’s an Action-RPG with almost no redeeming qualities, save for its one highly enjoyable system of evolution. The developers seem to have made the game entirely dependent on that feature, and amazingly, their gambit worked. Even though almost all of the gameplay consists of grinding for EVO (evolution) points to further tweak your Darwinian nightmare, the promise of that next upgrade is just enough motivation to keep playing. I find it ironic that a game about evolution would survive purely by appealing to an obscure niche. |
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Gargoyle's Quest II review (NES)Reviewed on April 30, 2013Released towards the end of the NES’ reign, Gargoyle’s Quest 2 was largely overlooked, in part because the original Game Boy title that preceded it was not exactly a household name. |
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XCOM: Enemy Unknown review (PC)Reviewed on April 29, 2013Whoops! Did you forget to upgrade your interceptors? Because now there's a UFO over Russia that you're not equipped to take down, and transferring or manufacturing more jets will take more time than you have. Oh, and the craft is going to shoot down your satellite. Oh, and Russia will pull its funding if that happens. |
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Sword of Hope review (GB)Reviewed on April 29, 2013To me, it seems like Kemco focused too much of its attention on Sword of Hope's presentation and not enough in categories that actually matter. The end result is an RPG that serves as a mere skeleton for a great game. |
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