Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Madden NFL 2003 review (PS2) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 Tougher than tough actin’ Tinactin! Tastier than Outback Steakhouse! Better to watch than Little Giants! A better deal than Greyhound buses!
	Crazy Taxi review (PS2) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 Ever Wonder Why 'Taxi' Has An I But 'Candy' Has A Y, Unless It's An Exotic Dancer? Me neither, so luckily I'm reviewing Crazy Taxi and not our country's exotic dancing scene!
	Berzerk review (ARC) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 Every once in a while, the screen will fade, the sound clatters even more unrecognizably, or the button will jam, but these are inconsequential annoyances which do not interrupt the unconscious flow of gaming.
	Thunder Force II review (GEN) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 This early Genesis release is not graphically or sonically stunning, as can be expected (old games still impress in these categories, but we needn't expect them to), but the lackluster presentation is not wholly or even largely the reason why the game fails to impress.
	Journey from Darkness: Strider Returns review (GEN) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 Sega's Strider was every bit as engaging as Capcom had made it in the arcades. Truly, it was a memorable experience with only two weaknesses worth mentioning: the length of the adventure, and the limitations of the hero's jumping abilities. Strider 2 does nothing to correct the former but admirably corrects the latter. Not bad then, right? Well, it wouldn’t be, but remember the aforementioned strengths of the original game? You know, the beautiful scenes and sounds? Well forget about them. They’re gone.
	Strider review (GEN) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 Much of the game’s hype was due to the fact that it was the first 8 meg cartridge ever. Certainly it was not just a case of Sega and Capcom pounding their chests with no real reasoning behind the extra space; upon comparison with other platform games of its time, the 8 meg 'monster' that was Strider clearly drew upon the added power do something unprecedented. It didn't compromise. It represented an arcade translation where the programmers didn't have to say ''Ok, what do we take out first?''
	Splatterhouse 2 review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 In the first game, Rick's girlfriend Jennifer was spirited away from his underdeveloped arms right before his pimply face, creamy with bursting whiteheads. The Hell Mask appeared to provide delicious two-fold resolution. He donned the evil, false visage and it took hold of him, charging teenage bone, sinew and muscle, until a fearless full grown murderer of the undead was forged (plus, it hid his acne).
	Sonic the Hedgehog review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 The fast and the furious Green Hill Zone. Barreling over bright green hills, digging your heels in as you race through lush valleys of green, leaping for coins and coming back down to green earth - this is what the entire game should have been about. Sad that the heights of enjoyment should be reached in Sonic’s first mission, sad that gamers should be teased so cruelly, as the roaring velocity of his run, (increased even more with the special speedy shoe icon, and even more while Sonic spins) comes to an abrupt halt with the conclusion of the zone, never to reach such intensity again.
	Sol-Deace review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 So now you have three streams of fire, one from the core, and one from each arm of the ship. You can get the arms to fire at different angles by moving the core forward and back. This is quite cool! Take note, nonbelievers! Sometimes, I have the core firing forward, the top arm firing 30 degrees up and forward, and the bottom arm firing 45 degrees down and forward! This allows for GOOD SCREEN COVERAGE.
	Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 I don't think our hard-ass hero, Joe Musashi, would be pleased with the name of this adventure: ''I know it's a stealth thing, but it sounds so...fruity!'' Regrettably, Joe did not have much say in naming the game, so the title stood. Shadow Dancer (snicker) is the side-scrolling, shuriken-shooting, arcade follow up to Shinobi. However, it was released for the Genesis after the console-only Revenge of Shinobi, and that is partly responsible for gamers not giving it its due. After all, it's hard to follow a class act like RoS - especially when in many ways, Shadow Dancer is a step backward.
	Rocket Knight Adventures review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 An esteemed colleague of mine - the legendary Honestgamers reviewer Jason Owens - urged me to try out Rocket Knight Adventures for the longest time. He was relentless. He pushed my buttons, prodded me with intrusive interrogations centered on my monthly game allowance. Little did he know that his gushing hyperbole for the game had convinced me to buy it long before his friendly suggestions became goading barbs, terrible threats, and angry emoticons (e.g.: >8^O).
	Midway Arcade Treasures review (PS2) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 Some of my all-time favorite arcade games are here. While a few of Midway's more popular titles are missing, most of those are too new to fit nicely on what is essentially a compilation of retro titles. The newest of the lot, I believe, is Smash TV. For some reason, though, one of my very favorite games ever made, Moon Patrol, got the boot and does not appear here.
	Ristar review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 I don’t profess to being Hannibal Lecter, or anything close to his ilk, but due in no small part to this game, I too seem to have reached the lowest levels of adult human depravity. Witness this scene: I, a grown man, observe three young children at play, shiny black controller in the hand of one, while the other two shout instructions above the rollicking din. I enter the fray, and notice the red light on the hot black console resting on a dusty shelf adjacent the television. The large TV screen flashes brilliantly; could it be a Disney movie on, and the children are only feigning to play at this Ristar?
	The Revenge of Shinobi review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 Be careful. This game is often called a classic, and perhaps rightfully so. But don’t expect it to be the perfect, quintessential 2D action adventure platform game - it’s not. There are two flaws that prevent its ascendancy into the lofty realm of perfection as we know it: Joe has a bad back. Joe has bad knees.
	Rastan Saga II review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 A mysterious edifice known as ''Skyscraper'' controls the land of Rastania somehow. An evil contingent has moved in and taken over the Skyscraper by force. A brave savage must turn the tide! I couldn't make this up if I wanted to, believe me. Doubt the authenticity of this nonsense? Never fear, Taito has laced the game with more than its fair share of kitsch gibberish in the brooding screens between levels.
	Phelios review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 Phelios casts you as Apollo, and your mission is to rescue your girl (yawn) from the dreaded despot (snore) who, incidentally, could pass for a hooded, red-eyed version of Cobra Commander. Anyway, Typhon’s got your fair lady tied up (that kinky bastard - why didn’t you think of that?) and apparently when she got a glimpse of what he was dating before (Medusa), Artemis turned to stone. Right then.
	OutRun review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 OutRun was brought home to the Genesis from its cool, comfortable arcade cabinet that featured a steering wheel, shifter, and pedals. When Sega failed to pack these items in with the cartridge (how hard can it be?), thus stripped of the novelty, the fun factor hit a signpost and rolled over.
	Gunstar Heroes review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 Gunstar Heroes was Treasure’s coming out party. Who’s Treasure? Easy. The giant hit-maker known as Konami - responsible for such massively popular game franchises as Metal Gear and Castlevania - had one particularly talented sector of their team jump ship, ostensibly tired of the 'same old, same old' routine of sequels, and the equally mundane practice of applying new lacquer to dusty old floors. These admirable folks became Treasure. And Gunstar Heroes became their first game.
	The Legend of Zelda: Collector's Edition review (GCN) Reviewed on December 19, 2003 Nintendo didn't make any noteworthy changes. Those expecting visual improvements may be disappointed, especially after the stellar job Nintendo did with Super Mario All-Stars so long ago, but the lack of modifications really isn't so awful as one might imagine. Pixel by pixel, things are precisely as you may remember them.
	Earnest Evans review (GEN) Reviewed on December 19, 2003 In a misguided attempt at fluidity, developers Wolf Team have gone too far, raising up a horrible amalgamation of loosely fitted sprite skin over a sentient gelatin skeleton. Each limb, digit, and joint of Earnest's lanky form oozes seemingly independently of the whole. Truly he is one of the most uniquely animated characters in gaming history - and that’s not a good thing.

Additional Results (20 per page)

[001] [002] [003] [004] [005] [006] [007] [008] [009] [010] [011] [012] [013] [014] [015] [016] [017] [018] [019] [020] [021] [022] [023] [024] [025] [026] [027] [028] [029] [030] [031] [032] [033] [034] [035] [036] [037] [038] [039] [040] [041] [042] [043] [044] [045] [046] [047] [048] [049] [050] [051] [052] [053] [054] [055] [056] [057] [058] [059] [060] [061] [062] [063] [064] [065] [066] [067] [068] [069] [070] [071] [072] [073] [074] [075] [076] [077] [078] [079] [080] [081] [082] [083] [084] [085] [086] [087] [088] [089] [090] [091] [092] [093] [094] [095] [096] [097] [098] [099] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234]

User Help | Contact | Ethics | Sponsor Guide | Links