Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Golden Axe review (GEN) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 It seems as if some nefarious evildoing knave by the name of Death Adder (how corny is THAT name) has stolen a Golden Axe. The Golden Axe isn't a weapon you get to use or anything, it's just the sacred artifact that needs rescuing, in place of your girlfriend or sensei. As such, it's rather difficult to care about your quest. I mean, if my girl was kidnapped, I'd be quite riled up and ready to choke a few throats, but the disappearance of a kitchen knife or toolshed mainstay doesn't get me going.
	Gaiares review (GEN) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 I have seen evidence of reviews, ‘professional’ or otherwise, where the reviewer seems not to have been able to get into the belly of the game, and writes of early passages in an attempt to skirt the issue of his superficial foray. It probably works, because many fans who own the game haven’t seen the horizons beyond level four either.
	Alone in the Dark 2 review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 AITD2’s Carnby is the hardest individual you’ll come across. He’ll fight off ghouls, ghosts, and pirates dressed as gangsters (stop hunting for a typo, it’s true) with Tommy guns, a derringer, a sword stick, frying pan, battledore or his bare hands. Consider his attitude: he knows going in that there will be thugs everywhere on the property, to thwart his rescue attempt. But he still chooses to bring only his trusty six-shot revolver, and nothing else! No ammunition for it, save what is in the chamber. Yes indeed, Edward Carnby is as tough as they come, and that means you had better be as well.
	Alone in the Dark review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 AITD is far more fun to play than the flashy and fleshy games it has spawned over the years. The Resident Evils, the Silent Hills, and even the new incarnation of Carnby's adventures, all fall short of the fun and fear factors that the original manages to evoke.
	System Shock 2 review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 In System Shock 2, an alien intelligence-cum-virus known as Xerxes, begins to mutate your human comrades aboard the ship, the Von Braun, attempting to degrade them into pawns of the growing alien consciousness known as The Many. You will be met with force by aberrant versions of former friends (from shotgun wielding males to laser firing females), robots, giant spiders, and the truly gruesome organic abominations of The Many that appear at the game's awe-inspiring culmination.
	Noctropolis review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Let me help you out. If you're checking this game out for the adult/sex factor, don't even bother. Succubus shows us nothing, and Stiletto shows us her breasts for like, two seconds. They're a rather nice set, granted, but you'd be better staying up and watching Porkys, or Fast Times at Ridgemont High for this kind of one-handed material. At least Fast Times had Phoebe Cates. And you can't beat Phoebe Cates for old time gratuitous nudity.
	Rise of the Triad: Dark War review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Much of RotT isn't very memorable or special, which is something a game like this needs to be distinctive in a crowded FPS market, both at the time of its release, AND now. Fat monks and good graphics from far and close up graphics that are far from good isn't quite enough. Thankfully, there are great moments that help raise this game above the level of mediocrity, if only slightly. Well, only one great moment, really.
	Jill of the Jungle review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Our protagonist, Jill, is an Amazon woman-type (girl power!), clad in a skimpy green outfit (guy power!). She's blonde (naturally) and brawny, and depending on what you choose to do with her, brainy as well. She can jump, climb ladders and vines, and can fling knives and spinning blades should she be so lucky to find them and so equip herself. But wait. Keep that quickening pulse in check!
	Hocus Pocus Episode 1: Time Tripping review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 The Land of Lattice is overseen by the Council of Wizards, a ruling body with great power and prestige, which you'd like to be part of one day. Fueling your resolve to this end is the matter of Popopa. That's your girlfriend (as if you didn't know!), and you'd like to marry her (Hocus! I implore you to reconsider! Why risk having your powers split down the middle when things inevitably go wrong!).
	Dark Ages Episode 1: Prince of Destiny review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 It will help if you’re already a fan of side-scrolling adventure games. If you can’t do without your Rastan, or your Legendary Axe, you will already be predisposed to having some fun with this little game. Your character is nameless, presumably so that you can think of him as yourself. Perhaps they should have left the bad guy nameless as well—his name is Garth. I doubt they were going for ''Garth Brooks''—maybe ''Garth Vader.''
	Commander Keen Episode I: Marooned on Mars review (PC) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Billy Blaze is eight years old. And he's a genius. He's constructed what he calls a 'beans and bacon' spacecraft from miscellaneous slop he unearthed around his parents' house. When he dons his big brother's yellow football helmet and carries along with him his trusty pogo-stick, we know it is nighttime (got to make sure the folks are asleep, after all), and that he's heading to outer space. We know he is blazing trails of interstellar discovery and aggressive peacekeeping endeavors. We know he has become... Commander Keen!
	Bonk's Revenge review (TG16) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Bonk’s Revenge is certainly not as charming and original as the first game, due in large part to the aforementioned omission of the ‘friend philosophy’. No longer are the bosses your hypnotized friends that you must get to ‘snap out of it’ with a few raps to the noggin. Now the bosses are just bad guys, and that’s too bad.
	Blazing Lazers review (TG16) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Gunhed. It’s quite possibly the coolest name for a vertical shooter ‘starfighter’. Gentlemen, you have to admit it's cool: it has the words 'gun' AND 'hed' in it. And that is only fitting, as this game (known to you and I as Blazing Lazers) is possibly the coolest game the genre has ever seen.
	Galactic Attack review (SAT) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Not too many games are this privileged. After all, Taito’s vertically scrolling shoot 'em up has three names. It was released in Japan’s arcades as Rayforce, ported home to Japanese Saturns as Layer Section, and finally arrived on North American Saturns as Galactic Attack (yes, we got the crummy name, as is the case more often than not).
	Xevious 3D/G+ review (PSX) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Soon your Solvalou is bothered by a sparse, but pretty snowfall, as you cruise like a bird of prey, firing either your spread, beam, or lock-on lasers (the red lock-on laser looks very cool, but regrettably isn’t very powerful), above enemies afloat on massive glaciers. Take off into outer space, and face a boss whose core is embedded in the dark face of an asteroid. You get to enter a space station with narrow, twisting, changing passages. A quick foray outside, and it’s back indoors, into the skeletal frame of the station, you playing Luke Skywalker to the station’s Death Star.
	Space Shot review (PSX) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Space Shot is in many ways an across-the-board shoot ‘em up clone, taking bits from Darius, (enemy formations) Thunder Force V, (the last boss, the O.V.D. charge weapon) and various other transgressions. But fortunately, and surprisingly, the game enters the Playstation shooter fray with a few wholly unique gameplay functions that elevate it above the fairness of 4-dom.
	Silent Hill review (PSX) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Outside on the streets, dark and fog is everywhere, snow will fall suddenly and then just as suddenly cease. Then it's back to textured blackness, worse than complete dark because of what the varying shades might conceal. You'll have to rely on your ears for sounds of unearthly growls and flapping wings that reveal the carnivorous canines and winged demons that seek you out.
	RayStorm review (PSX) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Your R-GRAY fighter must fly through 7 levels of mayhem, while you cross your fingers the whole way through. If you’ve heard otherwise, disregard the misinformation. This game is hard, bordering on the impossible in sections. Perhaps that is a failing resultant from the game’s arcade roots—it plays like a quarter muncher, often giving you no chance to get out of a given situation intact.
	RayCrisis: Series Termination review (PSX) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 ''Series Termination'', the subtitle screams at us, as if there were something riding on this. Even the title itself, ''RayCrisis'' speaks of the urgency and enormousness of the situation. As it stands, some Dr. Mindbender type has gone bonkers, his experiment in Artificial Intelligence following suit. The result is the hackneyed tale of supercomputer against earth. Supercomputer will, of course, prove to be victorious, if not for the player/hero.
	Raiden Project review (PSX) Reviewed on January 14, 2004 Perfectly plain

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