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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
King of Fighters: Maximum Impact (PlayStation 2)

King of Fighters: Maximum Impact review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 17, 2004

You couldn't introduce new blood without making at least one of them a busty babe, and so Lien enters the fray, serving up the expected combination of violence and sex we seem to crave from our gaming women. During the intro sequence, she chokes out some nameless dude, and then finds it necessary to zip down her jumpsuit front enough to expose exceptional cleavage which you might liken to two 14-pound bowling balls bursting out of a single ball bag.
Masters's avatar
Halo 2 (Xbox)

Halo 2 review (XBX)

Reviewed on November 16, 2004

With bigger set pieces, larger conflicts, and an improved enemy AI that has "kiss my shiny Covenant arse" written all over it, Halo 2 is what every good sequel should be: super sized and powered up. Look on in disbelief as the enemy reacts instinctively to your presence, then run for the hills as you find yourself outflanked and inevitably out gunned.
midwinter's avatar
Shrek 2 (PlayStation 2)

Shrek 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 09, 2004

A lot of people loved Shrek 2. I wasn't one of those people. I thought it was funny, just the way slapstick scenarios and fart gags are funny at the time, but hardly qualify as enduring humour. And so the Shrek name would not arrest me--a non-fanatic--at the game store and whisper into my ear that I must have it. If it did, it would mean I should see someone about hearing voices. If you think it might speak that way to you, you illustrate the only circumstance in which Shrek 2 comes highly recommended. (And you should also see someone about hearing voices.)
Masters's avatar
Fable (Xbox)

Fable review (XBX)

Reviewed on November 08, 2004

For it's here more than anywhere else that Molyneux has succeeded, not in fashioning a true next gen RPG but in creating a world worthy of the simple joys of role playing itself. And that's kind of what he had set out to do right?. There are of course a number of side quests on offer, as well as a handful of obligatory parlor-esque mini-games to indulge in. All that however is simple window dressing that serves to further enhance the spectacular cause and effect style gameplay mechanics that we've found ourselves coveting these past four years.
midwinter's avatar
Neo Contra (PlayStation 2)

Neo Contra review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 07, 2004

The third mission, for instance, places your character in a fortified canyon filled with knee-deep water and a shitload of opposition. Missile launching cretins rest in floating platforms, shielded soldiers with rocket launchers and sniper rifles pack the crannies of the rock wall, and swarms of blade carrying grunts pour forth from every direction; most would be daunted, but not this legendary commando.
bluberry's avatar
Harvest Moon 64 (Nintendo 64)

Harvest Moon 64 review (N64)

Reviewed on November 04, 2004

Harvest Moon 64 is an underrated masterpiece.
destinati0n's avatar
Metal Slug 3 (Xbox)

Metal Slug 3 review (XBX)

Reviewed on October 28, 2004

Press toward the right, mashing the button furiously as livid crustaceans emerge from ramshackle shanties. If they get too close, swipe your knife across them and return to your main quest: survival. Buildings explode into flame and melt away as if they never existed. Prisoners of war thank you heartily as you cut loose their ropes on the way to shoot a bubble-blowing goon ahead. But wait, there’s a weapon pick-up!
honestgamer's avatar
R-Type Final (PlayStation 2)

R-Type Final review (PS2)

Reviewed on October 27, 2004

How do you uphold a legacy and follow one of the best games ever made? Final is inferior to Delta, there's no doubt of that. The actual gameplay isn't on the same level: Delta boasted seven ideally crafted stages with beautiful music and detailed background designs. Given the PS2's greater capacity, Final is almost a step backward, only managing an inspiring CGI intro, a handful of standout stages and possibly a single great tune. Final seems to concede level design to its older sibling, concentrating on something else entirely to be its unique selling point.
Masters's avatar
Animal Crossing (GameCube)

Animal Crossing review (GCN)

Reviewed on October 25, 2004

Nevertheless, time is always progressing, and even if you are constantly occupied in life, your virtual world awaits you on the other side.
destinati0n's avatar
WarioWare: Twisted! (Game Boy Advance)

WarioWare: Twisted! review (GBA)

Reviewed on October 25, 2004

Luckily enough however, the first sequel to last year's smash hit Made in Wario (aka Wario Ware Inc) isn't your average flogging of a dead horse. In fact if the truth be known, it's about as far from Nintendo's atypical money grabbing ideology as the phrase innovative gimmick could possibly allow. Serving up a fresh "spin" on the ever popular micro-game concept, Mawaru: Made in Wario is everything fans of the original could ever hope for, and just a wee bit more besides...
midwinter's avatar
Fatal Fury 2 (X68000)

Fatal Fury 2 review (X68K)

Reviewed on October 24, 2004

Who wouldn't want to control lone wolf Terry Bogard on a quest to topple a ruthless opponent? Believe it or not, some people didn't. This time, those people had seven other options. They could play as ninja girl Mai Shiranui, spinning across the screen with her Deadly Ninja Bees attack or hurling butterfly fans.
zigfried's avatar
Metal Slug (NeoGeo)

Metal Slug review (NEO)

Reviewed on October 18, 2004

Monotony never manages to get a foothold, though, as the ragtag enemy army manages to pack more depth than most RPGs. This quickly becomes evident when Marco is suddenly ambushed by a trio of enemy schooners while crossing a massive bridge shining in the moonlight. The sunbathing goons on the upper decks quickly decide to hold their noses and hop overboard, while another crony slams on an accordion-like pump as his dinghy begins to take on water. Yet another begins to scream like a little girl when he realizes that his worst nightmare is right above him, brandishing a shotgun.
bluberry's avatar
Phantom Dust (Xbox)

Phantom Dust review (XBX)

Reviewed on October 15, 2004

More than anything else, it's these psionic powers that give Phantom Dust its own unique sense of self. Whereby every other deathmatch variant is content to simply offer players a range of impressively gung-ho munitions, Phantom Dust walks a very different path thanks to its huge range of 300+ skills and super human abilities. Can you imagine that? 300 different ways to kick someone's arse... damn, that's a lot of hurt!
midwinter's avatar
Tony Hawk's Underground 2 (GameCube)

Tony Hawk's Underground 2 review (GCN)

Reviewed on October 13, 2004

From there, the game forces you to watch inane cinemas between events. The scenes here are downright childish. At the best of moments, they might make you smile. But they’re poking fun at just about everyone not in the game, and their juvenile nature is more often irritating than it is amusing. That, or they’re ripped from every comedy movie you’ve ever seen and are no longer amusing as a result. No matter how you’ve performed, the plot is scripted and tries to paint you as the underdog.
honestgamer's avatar
CT Special Forces (Game Boy Advance)

CT Special Forces review (GBA)

Reviewed on October 11, 2004

After emptying one of the over-abundant first aid kits, our hero realizes that there isn't a drop of action in his future, that all of his battles shall only amount to taking potshots with his puny pistol. As the hordes of boring, weak soldiers fall prey to these cowardly tactics, a thought edges its way into his mind: why the hell aren't I playing Metal Slug instead?
bluberry's avatar
Atomic Robo-Kid (Genesis)

Atomic Robo-Kid review (GEN)

Reviewed on October 09, 2004

Where to begin? ABK's faults read like a grocery list--of spoiled items. Your character, an annoyingly cute R2-D2 wannabe, is too large and clunky and slow. What this amounts to is having to drag your excruciatingly lethargic metallic carcass around until you manage to earn a speed up icon. Without one, you won't stand a chance. To that point, allow me to fast forward to the site of the game's supreme manifestation of this greatest flaw, a sticking point that is almost laughable in its hideousness.
Masters's avatar
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (NES)

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes review (NES)

Reviewed on October 08, 2004

Considering its length, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes packs a surprising number of mind benders into the mix. There are the organ-playing Ketchuk, the maze-like corridors that immediately precede him, the reversed gravity in the third stage, and other threats too horrifying to describe. It feels like half the areas you experience have some little quirk to them.
honestgamer's avatar
Cubes Invasion (PC)

Cubes Invasion review (PC)

Reviewed on October 06, 2004

Besides the regular mode of play, there is also a treasure hunt version included in the Cubes Invasion package, which asks that you abandon normal square-clearing mentality in favour of 'freeing' only the pieces with a bag of treasure on them. When you're just starting out, you'll only need to connect one or two bags to proceed to the next stage. But by the time you reach say, stage 20, tons of bags will be crying out to be released from their coloured jails and the stage will likely start you out with the blocks already encroaching dangerously near the top of the well. The evil!
Masters's avatar
Katamari Damacy (PlayStation 2)

Katamari Damacy review (PS2)

Reviewed on October 06, 2004

The idea of rolling a ball around a level has been done before, and better. But I don’t recall a single time where I’ve rolled around a stage, constantly growing larger until the stage I thought I knew took on a whole new form without ever truly changing. It sounds like the dream game, and it almost was. With so much quirkiness and innovation, Katamari Damacy seemed destined to be a sleeper hit for Namco.
honestgamer's avatar
Wario World (GameCube)

Wario World review (GCN)

Reviewed on October 05, 2004

Better luck in Super Smash Brothers Brawl Mr. Wario.
destinati0n's avatar

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