Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti review (NES) Reviewed on July 09, 2005 At first the explicit violence that Splatterhouse is best known for makes it seem like a pretty unlikely choice for an SD game, but it actually ends up being the best entry in the series.
	Half-Life 2 review (PC) Reviewed on July 09, 2005 Like Half-Life's Black Mesa, it's a place infused with an atmosphere and culture that you can only experience through microcosms. Even more so than VALVe's immortal debut FPS, Half-Life 2 is a single, seamless scripted journey that's not so much about where you're going as much as who you meet on the way. Sometimes, you get there in time to be a hero; others, you're too late, whether it's by seconds or years.
	Star Ocean: The Second Story review (PSX) Reviewed on July 09, 2005 Star Ocean: The Second Story manages to stand out because it still shines so bright.
	Lagoon review (SNES) Reviewed on July 09, 2005 It’s a shame that the soundtrack is so damn rare or I’d strongly recommend just forgetting the game entirely and enjoying the fantastic score instead.
	Death by Degrees review (PS2) Reviewed on July 04, 2005 When I heard about Death By Degrees, I was intrigued. Long story short: it failed. I still don't care about Nina Williams. Actually, it's worse than that — Death By Degrees makes this walking piece of plastic's lack of personality even more obvious.
	Killer 7 review (PS2) Reviewed on July 02, 2005 Sadly though, much like its overly complicated story, Killer 7's action comes across as a schizophrenic hodgepodge of ideas, never once living up to the sum of its parts. It's clear that Suda 51 wanted to create something artistic, something that stood out from the crowd and defined itself by what it was, not what its contemporaries wanted it to be. Noble aspirations aside however, Killer 7 rarely manages to excite.
	Akumajou Dracula review (FDS) Reviewed on June 29, 2005 Creatures of the night, exchanging glances . . .
	The Secret of Monkey Island review (SCD) Reviewed on June 29, 2005 Let me make this clear from the beginning: The Secret of Monkey Island is a classic point & click adventure chock full of oddball humor and zesty piratey goodness. The Sega CD translation, however, does a fine job of languishing on a dusty shelf. Preferably someone else’s.
	James Bond 007: The Duel review (GEN) Reviewed on June 28, 2005 It’s difficult to say which side of this battle is the more feebleminded; it’s a close race. Enemy henchmen run on-screen and fire a shot at you within a second of appearing. Because they are unbelievably stupid, they can fire only on a line – they don’t duck down or aim upwards or diagonally – just straight ahead.
	Conker: Live & Reloaded review (XBX) Reviewed on June 23, 2005 Each location contains a few attractions and links to one or two other zones. You’ll have to dash between them throughout your adventure if you want to uncover everything, Metroid-style. This was probably intended to make you feel like you’re really exploring a beautiful cartoon world, but the result is just a lot of dull backtracking. It’s not like enemies suddenly return when you re-visit a given area.
	Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars review (PSX) Reviewed on June 22, 2005 The first few scenes of the game will see George, armed with a surprisingly competent voice actor, subtly mock the French authorities before hitting on Nico, a freelance newspaper photographer. This will all, of course, lead to the rather obvious conclusion of following the killer clown’s trail throughout Paris.
	Batman Begins review (XBX) Reviewed on June 19, 2005 The question of the day is this: how did a company such as Electronic Arts succeed where so many others have failed? Indeed, if anything their involvement should have been a warning sign, a clear indicator that Batman Begins was destined to be little more than an above average piece of soulless entertainment. And yet as succinctly as I may have just summarized the entire game, it still feels right.
	Choujikuu Yousai Macross: Scrambled Valkyrie review (SNES) Reviewed on June 17, 2005 But do not fail to take advantage of your craft’s second capability. While you fly along idly, perhaps through a rare spot of peacefulness where no foes dwell and your guns lay resting silently, a gold, magnetic electricity will surround you on all sides. Should certain models of enemy spacecraft come in contact with your unique force field, they will be subject to your own purposes!
	Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master review (GEN) Reviewed on June 17, 2005 The settings don't just differ from area to area --- they completely change in theme within stages. Your five-minute horseback ride --- during which, as in every level, you battle with a midpoint boss --- is followed by an entry into a high tech, futuristic enemy base, where the enemies no longer toy with spears and ninja stars, but rapid-fire ammunition.
	FIST review (SAT) Reviewed on June 16, 2005 With such a lackluster assortment of characters, the only solution is to compound the problem with one of the worst assortments of special moves ever envisioned. You know you're in trouble when one of the special moves is literally called Punch! Punch! Punch! and is performed by pressing the punch button three times in a row.
	Come See Me Tonight 2 review (PC) Reviewed on June 16, 2005 Suddenly, all you care to do is skip through the text and sleep with the girl of your choice. Text, text, text, sex, text, text, text, text, sex. Eventually, the pattern gets so tedious that you’re tempted to cycle through everything. Yes, that includes the sex. When a hentai game has you weary enough that you don’t even find yourself interested in the bountiful bosoms, you know something’s wrong.
	Tsumi to Batsu: Hoshi no Keishousha review (N64) Reviewed on June 14, 2005 Sin & Punishment was going to be a defining moment for the Nintendo 64... too bad there was nobody left to care. Released exclusively in Japan at a time when most gamers had already moved onto greener pastures, mainstream success seemed to be an all but impossible dream for this, the little shooter that should have.
	Balloon Fight review (NES) Reviewed on June 10, 2005 Starbuck faces shortcomings in technology that don’t hinder his enemy. When he manages to pop an enemy’s singular balloon (to William J. Starbuck’s advantage, he has two balloons!), they have parachutes that allow them to fall gently, often allowing them to float above nearby suspended rocky ledges, as opposed to the infested waters below, where Kazak the space mutant fish would surely like to devour them.
	Road Rash II review (GEN) Reviewed on June 10, 2005 There’s little you can’t do, and there isn’t much that can’t happen, especially over the course of a full race. Fight off the aptly named WAR HAMMER with your bare fists or with an available weapon; swerve in and out of the lanes, avoiding traffic and, on rare occasions, wildlife; and outrun the law to avoid being busted, disqualified from the race, and fined.
	Jaws review (NES) Reviewed on June 10, 2005 Your average encounter with Jaws himself plays out just like any other confrontation; he’ll swim back and forth as you spew rice at him. He’ll swim in your general direction, but unless your deep-sea diver suddenly loses all of his motor skills, the shark will never catch you.

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