Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Motoroader MC review (TGCD) Reviewed on June 13, 2006 In the tradition of the legendary Super Sprint, each Motoroader race is presented in a single-screen birds' eye view, so that you can see all the racers, all the obstacles, and all the action without any view-changing or mirror-flipping nonsense. There are a few hazards like ice patches or volcanic gorges, but for the most part you'll just hold down the "accelerate" button and speed as quickly as possible through eight laps on each track.
	Gradius Collection review (PSP) Reviewed on June 13, 2006 When the ship begins, it fires small pellets in a straight path. These are soon supplemented with peripheral shots, lasers and shields that give you a better chance against whatever the alien empire you’re battling happens to throw your way. Soon, your painfully slow ship will move more efficiently—this finally gives you a chance against all your adversaries as they dart so lithely about the screen—and you’ll wonder why you ever found the game so overwhelming.
	The Da Vinci Code review (XBX) Reviewed on June 11, 2006 On the one hand, this is a satisfying way to fight that emphasis mental power over the ability to simply button mash. On the other, it just doesn’t feel quite natural. Fights seem to happen in fits and spurts. Worse, fighting multiple enemies turns into a ridiculous scenario where even if you press the buttons in just the right order, one of the other goons might step in and knock you in the face because you’re in the middle of performing a combo and can’t stop to deal with the obvious threat.
	Metal Saga review (PS2) Reviewed on June 09, 2006 I had no reason to go anywhere other than to get in fights and earn money to buy better equipment for my characters and their tanks. With no motivation beyond personal gain, everything I accomplished in Metal Saga seemed hollow — a never-ending series of frivolous events only connected by their lack of connection.
	Shining Force review (GEN) Reviewed on June 08, 2006 During the game’s final battles, I didn’t have the courage to send Max into the heart of conflict. Why? Because if he gets defeated, the game ends and I found out the hard way that one unlucky confrontation can accomplish that in the blink of an eye.
	Formula One: Built to Win review (NES) Reviewed on June 05, 2006 There wasn’t much of a difference between the first few Formula One races and the last few American ones, so I jumped out to a hefty lead in the points standings over real-life drivers of the time (with slightly altered names, such as “A. Frost” instead of Alain Prost or “A. Zenna” instead of Ayrton Senna). I was feeling fine. Only a few races from winning the F-1 championship, I felt not even the wrath of God himself could stop me!
	Fight Night Round 3 review (PS2) Reviewed on June 05, 2006 Fighting without the energy bar, with no concrete way to gauge my opponents health and stamina, has made this game one of the most intense experiences I’ve ever had on any console; it’s amazing on multiple levels. The opponent’s body becomes your gauge; you’re targeting him, picking out spots, centering, focusing your attacks, faking him, looking to make sure he hurts in one spot more than the others. You land a solid blow and it hits with all the subtlety of roaring thunder; the controller shakes, the screen shakes, blood spurts from his mouth, you can feel the ribs give way as your fist connects.
	Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow review (PS2) Reviewed on June 02, 2006 Your parents were wrong. What you can’t see, certainly can hurt you.
	Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! review (NES) Reviewed on June 01, 2006 France’s most stalwart athlete, Glass Joe, quickly finds out his career is heading for a humiliating end, as his punches are easily dodged by Mac, who then responds by sending jab after jab into Joe’s face. The fight is short and brutal — with Glass Joe spending more time face down than the average hentai game chick.
	Steambot Chronicles review (PS2) Reviewed on May 29, 2006 Steambot Chronicles is cool like that; there’s an overlying story, sure, but progressing it rarely requires you to do anything hard. Hell, it rarely requires you to do much at all.
	RapeLay review (PC) Reviewed on May 27, 2006 To some extent, RapeLay represents a substantial evolution in hentai gaming: diverse, real-time, interactive sexual intercourse. But let's be honest. In RapeLay, you rape women. Well-programmed or not, it's despicable.
	Faxanadu review (NES) Reviewed on May 21, 2006 However, one cannot simply loiter near town enriching themselves through the lucrative practice of repeated suicide. The regions of Faxanadu are loaded with dungeons, as well as hostile, mutated dwarves that mean business! Considering the limitations of the NES, many of this game's assortment of baddies are simply incredible. Just look at the boss shaped like a monstrous torso as it bounces towards the hero, teeth gnashing in anticipation of their inevitable plunge through his armor into soft flesh.
	New Super Mario Bros. review (DS) Reviewed on May 20, 2006 I knew better than to hope for a DS game that could capture all of that for me again. Nostalgia sets unrealistic expectations. No, I’m not bitter because things weren’t exactly as I wished for them to be. In many ways, they came much closer than I ever expected. Instead, I’m upset because New Super Mario Bros. has too many issues that get in the way of a consistently good time.
	Yu-Gi-Oh! Ultimate Masters: World Championship Tournament 2006 review (GBA) Reviewed on May 19, 2006 World Championship 2006 is a great game that hints at a potentially excellent future. Unlike its drooling idiot siblings on the half-powered Yu-Gi-Oh! Double Pack, this final GBA edition combines all the card game's actual rules (including Fusion Monsters) with the thrill of purchasing and ripping open hundreds of virtual booster packs. The only things holding this particular Pak back are some audiovisual inadequacies and the sore lack of online play.
	Tomb Raider: Legend review (PS2) Reviewed on May 19, 2006 Fortunately, the boring fights only make up a small part of the game. You've got exploration. You've got puzzle solving. 1/3 suck, 2/3 good.
	Dreamfall: The Longest Journey review (XBX) Reviewed on May 18, 2006 As a result, there are plenty of times where you’ll be working through an area and the adventure is cut short because someone was alerted to your presence. The circumstances aren’t always the same—sometimes you’re ducking around robots and shards of glass, while others you might be trying to let the sound of a train mask your movements from a watchdog—but the frustration remains in tact.
	Generation of Chaos review (PSP) Reviewed on May 12, 2006 Every unit you command is controlled through this set-up. Each time you want to recruit someone to your cause, or give a gift to an especially useful warrior, or develop the land around a stronghold or whatever, you have to wade through menus. Those commands you might wish to use most frequently are generally two or three levels down, to boot.
	Justice League Task Force review (GEN) Reviewed on May 12, 2006 The problem here is that, even though Task Force does some things right, it nullifies the good points by being flat-out boring.
	LEGO Star Wars: The Video Game review (PS2) Reviewed on May 08, 2006 Most zones require rapid character swapping if you want to discover everything. For example, you might see a ledge you can’t reach. Your Jedi only has a limited jump, but perhaps you have Padme along. She can use her grappling hook to reach higher areas, then trip some switches so that her friends can follow. Or maybe there’s a hidden item. You can see it, but you can’t reach it.
	Sweet Paradise review (PSP) Reviewed on May 06, 2006 Quick show of hands, who here wants to date a pre-teen Japanese girl? Better yet, what if you could take this lovely young lady on a private holiday, just the two of you exploring the sandy tropical beaches of Bali... would you like that?

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