Review Archives (Staff Reviews)
You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Noddy: A Day in Toyland review (GBA)Reviewed on October 22, 2006As Noddy strolls through the scenic locations in the game—which often include town streets, houses and finally a foreboding goblin forest—he’ll sometimes encounter threats to his life meter. These villainous creatures are never all that frightening, with the possible exception of the zombies that suddenly pop out of the soil at inopportune moments. |
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Franklin the Turtle: Franklin's Great Adventures review (DS)Reviewed on October 21, 2006Pressing the ‘R’ button will allow you to switch between the two available characters, who have different skills you’ll need to utilize. If you come across a wide body of water, that means the beaver is your buddy at that particular moment. He can dive into the watery depths and, while avoiding contact with fish, work his way through to a switch of some sort or another that will present Franklin with the means to proceed. |
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Puyo Puyo DA! review (DC)Reviewed on October 20, 2006As much as I enjoy the atmosphere, this game isn't going to create any new fans. The characters' behavior is amusing only because I already know how they're supposed to act. Without any dialogue or actual character-to-character interaction, Puyo Puyo Da fails to internally flesh out anything. |
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Gothic 3 review (PC)Reviewed on October 17, 2006Bigger. Badder. Not quite as buggy. |
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Veggie Tales: LarryBoy and the Bad Apple review (GBA)Reviewed on October 16, 2006LarryBoy and the Bad Apple is a game and needed to find some way to challenge players without forcing them into the evils of mindless slaughter. It found the solution to this quandary in the form of a time limit system. You don’t die. Instead, you’re slowed by hazards like errant basketballs (in one early boss encounter that will remind you of Donkey Kong) or vegetables that have given into the Bad Apple’s wicked ways. |
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I, Damiano review (PC)Reviewed on October 13, 2006Somewhere in the midst of all this frivolity are cheery themes like wholesale genocide, illicit sex, and an epidemic of the Black Death; this is of course followed by folk dancing, because Damiano is a very complex individual. |
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Gokuraku! Chuka Taisen review (TG16)Reviewed on October 13, 2006Yes, hero-boy’s steed of choice as he enters the fray is a cloud. Now, if I was a mythological Chinese hero, I’d prefer riding into battle on one of those cool-looking dragons those nutty folks are always worshipping or whatever, but to each his own, I guess. |
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Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse review (NES)Reviewed on October 10, 2006Everyone recognizes the gaming brilliance that is Castlevania III – which is why I’m not going to bother reviewing it. |
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Tsuki ~Possession~ review (PC)Reviewed on October 10, 2006No one, and I repeat, no one said anything about urine, adult diapers, or enemas and their *ahem* forceful outbursts. |
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Caesar IV review (PC)Reviewed on October 09, 2006If Caesar IV is better because it focuses on the smaller details, then it’s also true that it’s better because it forces you to do the same. You have to worry more about things like hygiene now. More importantly, you understand why that is in a tangible sense. When you neglect the bath houses, you’ll see filth spreading through your city. |
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Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventure review (GBA)Reviewed on October 09, 2006You'll jump a lot of gates in Pippa Funnell: Stable Adventures. |
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Just Cause review (PS2)Reviewed on October 05, 2006When all these elements come together, you might actually be fooled into thinking Just Cause is a decent game. Don't. All is not what it seems. |
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Parasite Eve review (PSX)Reviewed on October 05, 2006The main problem is that whenever Aya gets into a fight, the game has to load in the monsters, which takes a couple of seconds. During this time, the screen freezes and turns gray, essentially screaming, “Hey stupid! You are going to be in a fight. Gird those loins and start shooting!” |
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Haunted Castle review (ARC)Reviewed on October 03, 2006Don’t hate Haunted Castle just because there aren’t any candles to whip, the sub-weapons are totally lame, and Simon has blue hair. That would be silly. No, you should hate it because it’s a sadistic monster that feeds off your suffering (and pocket change). |
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Enzai: Falsely Accused review (PC)Reviewed on October 01, 2006I definitely enjoyed my time with Enzai. I actually played through every scenario and bled the story dry, because the dialogue and characters were so well-conceived. |
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Cooking Mama review (DS)Reviewed on September 30, 2006All that Cooking Mama has to offer is cooking, cooking, and more routine cooking. The only real goal is to get perfect 100’s, but even then, the reward is yet another dish that utilizes the same cooking techniques and a little gold medal. |
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Amped 3 review (X360)Reviewed on September 30, 2006You'll also find yourself hired by a Canadian sock-puppet to hunt down a yeti. After being filled in by your odd employer (who uses a sock puppet of his very own to characterise the yeti!) you'll have to chase the abominable snowman down a particularly treacherous slope, outscoring him as he pulls mad tricks on his own snowboard to secure his capture. He'll backflip off an icy ramp and land precariously on a rail which he'll grind down, popping off stunts as he goes. Do the same or be shown up by the missing link! |
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Mega Man X: Command Mission review (GCN)Reviewed on September 30, 2006This isn’t the first Mega Man RPG, but it is the first Mega Man RPG that hasn’t used weird some weird card system or had grids to move around on or wasn’t a blatant Pokémon knockoff. In Command Mission you play as X, robot fighter extraordinaire, hunter of the rogue reploids known as Mavericks. If you’ve been playing Mega Man X games for a while, you probably have this history memorized; from what I can tell, it’s just a continuation of the main series. I wouldn’t know because, again, I’m not good at the games and haven’t dug deep into the storyline. And, again, I don’t really need to. Command Mission’s plot is extremely linear and self-contained. |
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Streets of Rage 2 review (GEN)Reviewed on September 29, 2006And make no mistake — losing the services of Adam was such a crushing blow to comrades Axel and Blaze that they needed to enlist TWO other vigilante crime fighters in an attempt to replace him. Skate is a skateboarder who I’ve never used or even considered using. Just look at the little pipsqueak and you’ll understand. Max is a big, powerful guy who suffers from being the slowest-moving human being in the world. Sure, he can wade through Mr. X’s foot soldiers with ease, littering the city streets with broken bodies and shattered dreams, but put him against nimble, agile foes and things get ugly. |
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Bone: The Great Cow Race review (PC)Reviewed on September 28, 2006A lot of notice was taken of Boneville's shortcomings and fixed up in this outing; while both games drip with a vibrant and goofy charm that will appeal to audiences young and old, the more sinister undertones that Jeff Smith's comics were so loved for have been allowed to further develop in this episode. |
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