Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Disney's Chicken Little: Ace in Action review (WII) Reviewed on January 12, 2007 Play is divided into four worlds that are split into an average of six stages. There are three flavors: platforming, aerial combat and ground demolition. Ace (the glamorous equivalent of Chicken Little) is the guy who goes on foot, beautiful Abby takes to the skies and Runt drives a hulking beast of a tank around the various stages. None of the modes are astonishingly good on their own, but together the package is quite enjoyable if only because you never have much time to get sick of one approach before you’re switching to the next.
	Bionic Commando review (NES) Reviewed on January 11, 2007 Level “6” proved to be arguably the game’s biggest challenge, as by this time, I was expected to have mastered the art of grappling. I had to hook myself from one tiny object to the next knowing that even the most miniscule of slip-ups would lead to my character taking a fatal fall.
	Cartoon Network Racing review (DS) Reviewed on January 11, 2007 The game is designed well enough that it doesn’t have to dumb itself down to hide design deficiencies. The sluggish controls from the PlayStation 2 version are here replaced with responsive ones. The d-pad works great and when you need to take a sharp corner, pressing the ‘R’ button lets you brake into a drift that will soon find you navigating all sorts of twists and bends.
	Platypus review (PSP) Reviewed on January 05, 2007 Each world is divided into several stages. These typically are somewhere close to the length of a stage in any other shooter you might chare to mention, and there are typically around six of them strung one right after the next with only a status update screen to divide them. The background doesn’t change significantly the whole time you’re playing through a given world.
	Xiaolin Showdown review (PSP) Reviewed on January 04, 2007 If Konami's Xiaolin Showdown is any indication, then its namesake cartoon falls squarely into the "sappy dullard" heap. Aside from the villains, the characters completely lack any distinguishable personality; the big Texan monk and the token Asian girl may as well be clones.
	Warhammer: Mark of Chaos review (PC) Reviewed on January 03, 2007 That might lead you to believe that you spend a lot of time in micro-management screens, but you really don’t. While some of that is here by necessity, it’s kept more minimal than battle-hungry players might ever have hoped. You recruit new soldiers to replace those lost in combat, revive fallen heroes as necessary and purchase available armor upgrades. In a minute or two, you’re done and can return to the plot and the battles.
	Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops review (PSP) Reviewed on January 01, 2007 Abandoning the idea of a Digital Graphic Novel, Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops finds Konami attempting a true Metal Gear adventure for the PSP. The first familiar sign: a heavy reliance on third-person stealth. There’s also plenty of CQC, stylish philosophical discussion and a narrative that boasts almost as many twists and outlandish villains as Snake Eater.
	Metal Slug Anthology review (WII) Reviewed on December 28, 2006 There are numerous options available, more than most people would ever expect. You’d think that one of them would be perfect for the average gamer who has been playing Metal Slug games for years. It turns out that none of them are, though. That’s downright mystifying when you consider how many times these games have been ported to home consoles.
	Eragon review (X360) Reviewed on December 27, 2006 Even before you take to the air to take part in clumsy dogfights that put you in a continuous loop of see-off-foes-munch-respawning-health-up-see-off-respawned-foes (repeat until your sanity cracks or your thrown pad cracks your TV), young Eragon will need to slog through the basic hack-and-slash meat of the game that offers very little in the way of inventivity or even competence.
	Superman Returns review (X360) Reviewed on December 26, 2006 Superman Returns is a frustrating experience because the mechanics for a successful take on this mistreated franchise are all in place. It actually feels like you’re Superman because you’re the one hurrying across Metropolis to save people and protect the city. The game doesn’t drop you off at set-points or curtail your powers (save for a stamina bar). You’re allowed to lift and throw just about everything, set fire to cars and perform super-human combos. The enemy encounters may grow tiresome due to the extreme repetition, but the comic, action-packed duels are epic good vs. evil duels. At first.
	Teddy Boy Blues review (SCD) Reviewed on December 25, 2006 Those crazy developers at Sega heard a catchy pop song by a cute Japanese idol singer... so they decided to make an arcade game based on it! Thus was born Teddy Boy Blues, a fun 50-level arcade game that probably inspired Bubble Bobble.
	Sam & Max Episode 2 - Situation: Comedy review (PC) Reviewed on December 23, 2006 Wherever they spew their spontaneous insanity, they do so comfortably in the knowledge that everything around them works. Sam's laid-back noir voice narrates proceedings with a smooth, practised hands while Max overwrites sense with deranged threats and suggestions. Trying to share an innocent anecdote about the pair's adventures starts our furry chum off on a tale of bludgeoning purse-snatchers with broken parking meters while screaming "DIE! Why won't you die?!," with a nodding Sam looking on approvingly.
	Tiny Toon Adventures review (NES) Reviewed on December 22, 2006 For example, the fourth one consisted of little more than a brief series of jumps while dodging some sort of dog that occasionally sprinted at my character. After I got my timing down, so I’d avoid the dog’s charges, I realized it only took me about 10 seconds to do that entire part of the level. And, to be honest, it wasn’t much shorter than any of the other four areas.
	Elebits review (WII) Reviewed on December 21, 2006 Elebits provides is one of the most truly convincing 3D atmospheres yet presented in a console game. Though the visuals are clearly inspired by animation and maybe 1950, they are endearing in their way and really suck you into the experience. If at times there are hiccups, they’re still an acceptable price to pay for the freedom you often enjoy.
	Pocket Racers review (PSP) Reviewed on December 18, 2006 Although I approached Pocket Racers with an open mind, I left with anything but. Aside from Satan (or in this case, a hooded facsimile), this is an ill-conceived, poorly-designed, "me-too" racer. This is not a game that deserves respect.
	Phelios review (GEN) Reviewed on December 15, 2006 Artemis looks and acts much like your standard damsel in distress with her long blond hair and scant clothing barely covering her SWEET rack as she begs for Apollo to remember their time together and come save her. Well, while that was all I needed to see before leaping into action, according to the actual legends, Artemis was more of a butt-kicking tomboy type who likely was a role model for young Greek lesbians.
	Luxor: The Wrath of Set review (PSP) Reviewed on December 13, 2006 In Luxor, you are a warmongering scarab out to destroy all the other scarabs before they can push a bunch of multi-coloured balls into a nearby pyramid. I guess these balls are bombs or something, because if even one makes it into the pyramid, YOU LOSE.
	Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin review (DS) Reviewed on December 12, 2006 Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin is as rewarding an experience as the series is likely to ever provide. It’s huge, it’s fun and it’s devious in all the right amounts. I can think of only two flaws: nothing here feels overwhelmingly new compared to previous installments, and sometimes you have to wander around breaking apart too many candlesticks for gold because healing items and accessories are so expensive.
	Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 review (X360) Reviewed on December 11, 2006 Although I could whine about DOAX2's more challenging (but still fair) version of volleyball, the marina race is far, far better than volleyball ever was. There are a lot of courses — more are unlocked after a first-place finish — and the aquatic atmosphere provides a relaxing counterbalance to the adrenaline of high-speed battle. Even after mastering the basic course layout, there's still the "flag" system used to earn turbo boosts, the stunt system which lets me pull off some crazy flips, and the fair but persistent opposition.
	Gears of War review (X360) Reviewed on December 08, 2006 You'll be surprised how much you can do with so little buttons. Take control of Marcus Fenix, and marvel at how easy it is to throw him around the battlefield. Within minutes, you'll have him hurling himself behind cover, popping around the sides to take shots at any available targets and even reaching over his protective barrier to fire blindly at any foe foolish enough to charge him. You'll have him diving from one safe haven to the next, sniping around corners to bull-rush unprepared Locust and hurling spike-encrusted sling-shot-inspired grenades right down their scaly little throats.

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