Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Red Bull BC One review (DS) Reviewed on October 06, 2008 Even if the simple gameplay were tweaked to its maximum amount of enjoyment, no link is established to the main attraction: breakdancing. Sure, if I refrain from moving the stylus, my tiny dancer will passively bob to a generic beat. And when I complete a shape, his silhouette in the background pulls off some random move in sync with his full figure up on the top screen. But I don't see how my triangles, pentagons, and dodecahedrons specifically translate into coin drops, belly swims, or airchairs.
	Galactic Civilizations II: Endless Universe review (PC) Reviewed on October 06, 2008 his means that anyone who has touched anything resembling a turn-based strategy before will easily pick it up but the simple setting change doesn't make the game good. Its kind of like how many people say that Firefly was just a Western for Star Trek fans. Except Firefly had Nathan Fillion. And was entertaining.
	Thief: Deadly Shadows review (PC) Reviewed on October 05, 2008 Does a game lose worth for providing too much of a challenge? Forcing the player into a routine of patience in order to beat its difficulty is the very crux of the Thief franchise, so it seems a little unfair to berate an admittedly well-crafted videogame for this reason.
	Doom 3 review (XBX) Reviewed on October 01, 2008 It's pointless cosmetics-first-gameplay-last software at its worst.
	New International Track & Field review (DS) Reviewed on September 30, 2008 Any year with the Olympic Games is a good year for Olympic games. At least, that seems to be the idea behind New International Track and Field, A DS facelift of Konami's old Track and Field franchise. After lying dormant for eight years, the game made a sudden reappearance now that there were coat tails to ride on, namely those of Beijing. But do they really need an excuse to make another minigame compilation for the DS?
	Mass Effect review (PC) Reviewed on September 29, 2008 I don't think I've played a game with this much all-round polish since Half-Life 2. Mass Effect simply sparkles, overflowing with cinematic sci-fi design, brimming with utter, undebatable confidence in its approach. It's about as close to an interactive movie as the medium has come, but it's absolutely a videogame, and makes no bones about it. It’s full of cut-scenes, boss battles and, at heart, complete linearity, but it's so much more than that. Mass Effect, despite on the surface being an impressive rehash of Star Wars, is one of the most atmospheric and involving games I've ever played...
	Mah Jong Quest: Expeditions review (DS) Reviewed on September 28, 2008 I’ll be honest; I had it all planned out in my head before the cart was even in the DS. We all already know what Mahjong is, so I’d joke about having to met a word quota, throw in an obligatory and basic description on how the ancient Chinese tile-matching game worked then be all flippant while I padded the rest of the review out. Mah Jong Quest: Expeditions foils my plan by not being just another tile flipper aided by stylus prodding.
	Jewel Quest: Expeditions review (DS) Reviewed on September 28, 2008 Familiar because it’s been seen before. Familiar because there are fourteen puzzle games released on the DS for any other genre and familiar because Jewel Quest has already been seen on XBLA and won the internet over when initially released by IWin.com online. Familiar doesn’t always mean bad.
	Nightmare Circus review (GEN) Reviewed on September 26, 2008 The worst of the worst.
	Double Dragon II review (GB) Reviewed on September 26, 2008 So each one of these guys requires the same strategy. Lure them up or down to your level, hit the uppercut, hit the knee drop, run away before they recover and do the same thing over and over until the chap's down for the count. That's it. There are no variations to this formula and no tricks to dissuade you from using it.
	Vampire Rain: Altered Species review (PS3) Reviewed on September 25, 2008 Vampire Rain is supposed to be something of a horror game. But all that it delivers is the horrifying sensation that you need to run. Not because of the imminent danger – vampires attack frequently, are hard to kill up close, and can slaughter you in less than three seconds – but because of how tired this game will make you feel.
	Toxic Crusaders review (GB) Reviewed on September 24, 2008 At the beginning of each segment of each stage, players get to choose between Toxie and any of his four sidekicks. I can't be bothered to remember their names because all of them are, for all intents and purposes, the exact same as Toxie. All five characters are the same size, have the same mobility and fire projectiles at the same speed.
	Infinite Undiscovery review (X360) Reviewed on September 23, 2008 When the moon (known as the Throne of Gods) is chained up by the one called Dreadknight, the world is overthrown by evil. The chains run through the atmosphere, all the way from the moon to quaint towns and cities, turning vast areas into monster havens. At the same time the planet’s life is being destroyed, striking fear in its occupants while creating a theme Square Enix fans have come to embrace.
	Two Worlds: Epic Edition review (PC) Reviewed on September 22, 2008 If Two Worlds is modelled as closely on Oblivion as it looks to be, then Reality Pump have missed the point entirely. The open world remains in full force and the art design is plagiaristically similar, but Two Worlds' judgement of what makes a high-quality digital RPG is way off. Bethesda mustn't know whether to laugh or cry.
	Monster Madness: Grave Danger review (PS3) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 If you want a new-gen Smash TV with corpses other than slightly homosexual-looking guys in body-tight red jumpsuits made from latex, then your choices are already pretty limited. Monster Madness: Grave Danger is pretty much the only way to go, but that’s okay. As long as you don’t belong in certain pigeonholes, you could have some fun here.
	Wild ARMs XF review (PSP) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 It truely is a fantastic example of the genre, but it's immediately obvious that innovation isn't the reason why. The game's biggest departure from genre conventions is that its play field is divided into hexagons instead of squares. This makes sense given the battle system of the last two traditional Wild Arms games, and adds a small bit of series recognition to the game, but the practical impact is nonexistent. The game feels very familiar immediately. Move a unit, select its action, move on. Simple.
	S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky review (PC) Reviewed on September 20, 2008 There was a point about halfway through the new S.T.A.L.K.E.R. when I realised I was playing a radically different game to the one I started a couple of days previously. The change is a gradual one, but by the time the phenomenal ambition of the early levels has become a mere memory, it's certainly noticeable. There's a conflict of interest at the heart of Clear Sky between radically open warfare and traditional first-person shooting. Neither of these facets achieves its aims perfectly, but there remains a lot to love about GSC Game World's latest creation...
	The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion review (X360) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 This could have been a Skyrim review, but was backtracked to Oblivion.
	Undercover Cops review (ARC) Reviewed on September 13, 2008 In a dimly lit room of political power, town officials plot how to take care of the recent crime outbreak...
	Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner review (PC) Reviewed on September 10, 2008 For those who didn't know, Homestar Runner is a long running internet comedy website revolving largely about a guy answering his e-mail. It's most well known for having oddly drawn and animated cartoony characters getting into all kinds of odd misadventures together in a surprisingly mundane world. I didn't know exactly what to expect in a game about this place, but in retrospect this has point-and-click adventure written all over it. And it is pretty fitting, I suppose. The game lends itself well to the genre, what with all the quirk and the word play. Everything's too goofy to make a convincing action game or, well, much of anything else.

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