Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Master of the Monster Lair review (DS) Reviewed on October 09, 2008 The thing that keeps a person digging is the sense of ownership. Once you've crafted a beautiful maze, it's fun to return because then you'll get to see what monsters have decided to inhabit your dungeon. If you just built a few bland hallways, perhaps there will be some bats and maybe a boar or two. If you spruced things up with a trash heap, you'll find a slimy little guy. The undesirable tenants you attract are a better reward than virtual piles of gold or sparkling digital badges ever could have been.
	Coryoon review (TG16) Reviewed on October 09, 2008 As you progress through its eight stages, it seems near-impossible to stay alive as enemies dart onto the screen in erratic waves, spewing bullets here and there, while various indestructible obstacles such as moving statues and clapping hands also pose a serious threat to your dragon's health. And while you're trying to survive all of this, well, it's not too likely you'll be noticing how cute everything looks. You'll just be hoping you can power up your weapons enough to survive a little bit longer.
	Mega Man 9 review (X360) Reviewed on October 08, 2008 This is a game where your skills start out rusty, yet your experience as you improve goes from “pretty good but wow is this game hard” to “I can't believe I used to have trouble with that!” The sense of accomplishment as each stage is cleared hasn't been this significant in a Mega Man game in 20 years.
	Rumble Roses XX review (X360) Reviewed on October 07, 2008 The perv ideas begin with the outfits, which range from form-fitting hot pants to your basic wrestling thong. Once you’ve selected your hottie and dressed her as skimpily as you like, choose an arena and get to fighting. Even while duking out, there is sexiness on display, because the holds and throws are executed with a deliberate seductiveness, and the camera, when it doesn’t automatically give you the dirtiest view of the action, offers you manual control so you can do it yourself. Trust me – powerbombs never looked so hot as when you’re looking directly down between the legs of the upside-down victim.
	Red Bull BC One review (DS) Reviewed on October 06, 2008 Even if the simple gameplay were tweaked to its maximum amount of enjoyment, no link is established to the main attraction: breakdancing. Sure, if I refrain from moving the stylus, my tiny dancer will passively bob to a generic beat. And when I complete a shape, his silhouette in the background pulls off some random move in sync with his full figure up on the top screen. But I don't see how my triangles, pentagons, and dodecahedrons specifically translate into coin drops, belly swims, or airchairs.
	Galactic Civilizations II: Endless Universe review (PC) Reviewed on October 06, 2008 his means that anyone who has touched anything resembling a turn-based strategy before will easily pick it up but the simple setting change doesn't make the game good. Its kind of like how many people say that Firefly was just a Western for Star Trek fans. Except Firefly had Nathan Fillion. And was entertaining.
	Thief: Deadly Shadows review (PC) Reviewed on October 05, 2008 Does a game lose worth for providing too much of a challenge? Forcing the player into a routine of patience in order to beat its difficulty is the very crux of the Thief franchise, so it seems a little unfair to berate an admittedly well-crafted videogame for this reason.
	Doom 3 review (XBX) Reviewed on October 01, 2008 It's pointless cosmetics-first-gameplay-last software at its worst.
	New International Track & Field review (DS) Reviewed on September 30, 2008 Any year with the Olympic Games is a good year for Olympic games. At least, that seems to be the idea behind New International Track and Field, A DS facelift of Konami's old Track and Field franchise. After lying dormant for eight years, the game made a sudden reappearance now that there were coat tails to ride on, namely those of Beijing. But do they really need an excuse to make another minigame compilation for the DS?
	Mass Effect review (PC) Reviewed on September 29, 2008 I don't think I've played a game with this much all-round polish since Half-Life 2. Mass Effect simply sparkles, overflowing with cinematic sci-fi design, brimming with utter, undebatable confidence in its approach. It's about as close to an interactive movie as the medium has come, but it's absolutely a videogame, and makes no bones about it. It’s full of cut-scenes, boss battles and, at heart, complete linearity, but it's so much more than that. Mass Effect, despite on the surface being an impressive rehash of Star Wars, is one of the most atmospheric and involving games I've ever played...
	Mah Jong Quest: Expeditions review (DS) Reviewed on September 28, 2008 I’ll be honest; I had it all planned out in my head before the cart was even in the DS. We all already know what Mahjong is, so I’d joke about having to met a word quota, throw in an obligatory and basic description on how the ancient Chinese tile-matching game worked then be all flippant while I padded the rest of the review out. Mah Jong Quest: Expeditions foils my plan by not being just another tile flipper aided by stylus prodding.
	Jewel Quest: Expeditions review (DS) Reviewed on September 28, 2008 Familiar because it’s been seen before. Familiar because there are fourteen puzzle games released on the DS for any other genre and familiar because Jewel Quest has already been seen on XBLA and won the internet over when initially released by IWin.com online. Familiar doesn’t always mean bad.
	Nightmare Circus review (GEN) Reviewed on September 26, 2008 The worst of the worst.
	Double Dragon II review (GB) Reviewed on September 26, 2008 So each one of these guys requires the same strategy. Lure them up or down to your level, hit the uppercut, hit the knee drop, run away before they recover and do the same thing over and over until the chap's down for the count. That's it. There are no variations to this formula and no tricks to dissuade you from using it.
	Vampire Rain: Altered Species review (PS3) Reviewed on September 25, 2008 Vampire Rain is supposed to be something of a horror game. But all that it delivers is the horrifying sensation that you need to run. Not because of the imminent danger – vampires attack frequently, are hard to kill up close, and can slaughter you in less than three seconds – but because of how tired this game will make you feel.
	Toxic Crusaders review (GB) Reviewed on September 24, 2008 At the beginning of each segment of each stage, players get to choose between Toxie and any of his four sidekicks. I can't be bothered to remember their names because all of them are, for all intents and purposes, the exact same as Toxie. All five characters are the same size, have the same mobility and fire projectiles at the same speed.
	Infinite Undiscovery review (X360) Reviewed on September 23, 2008 When the moon (known as the Throne of Gods) is chained up by the one called Dreadknight, the world is overthrown by evil. The chains run through the atmosphere, all the way from the moon to quaint towns and cities, turning vast areas into monster havens. At the same time the planet’s life is being destroyed, striking fear in its occupants while creating a theme Square Enix fans have come to embrace.
	Two Worlds: Epic Edition review (PC) Reviewed on September 22, 2008 If Two Worlds is modelled as closely on Oblivion as it looks to be, then Reality Pump have missed the point entirely. The open world remains in full force and the art design is plagiaristically similar, but Two Worlds' judgement of what makes a high-quality digital RPG is way off. Bethesda mustn't know whether to laugh or cry.
	Monster Madness: Grave Danger review (PS3) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 If you want a new-gen Smash TV with corpses other than slightly homosexual-looking guys in body-tight red jumpsuits made from latex, then your choices are already pretty limited. Monster Madness: Grave Danger is pretty much the only way to go, but that’s okay. As long as you don’t belong in certain pigeonholes, you could have some fun here.
	Wild ARMs XF review (PSP) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 It truely is a fantastic example of the genre, but it's immediately obvious that innovation isn't the reason why. The game's biggest departure from genre conventions is that its play field is divided into hexagons instead of squares. This makes sense given the battle system of the last two traditional Wild Arms games, and adds a small bit of series recognition to the game, but the practical impact is nonexistent. The game feels very familiar immediately. Move a unit, select its action, move on. Simple.

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