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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories (PlayStation 2)

Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 24, 2008

A departure from the hit-the-x-button gameplay of the rest of the series, this system is lauded as either brilliantly strategic or pathetically broken. I myself call it strategically pathetic, but I like it nonetheless.
zippdementia's avatar
Indigo Prophecy (PlayStation 2)

Indigo Prophecy review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 23, 2008

Itís around here that Marcus stops worrying about his mental health and starts trying to be middle Americaís answer to Chow Yun Fat on a tabletop-sized slab of LSD. Itís about here you may want to start thinking about employing your consoleís off switch.
EmP's avatar
Dynowarz: The Destruction of Spondylus (NES)

Dynowarz: The Destruction of Spondylus review (NES)

Reviewed on December 23, 2008

And after seven sequences of this, it all abruptly ends. No more muted, garish colors. No more laughable showdowns. No more trying to hit a miniature velociraptor with a stupid arcing bomb because the power-up literally blocked your path on the opposite side of a gorge, forcing you to die or collect it.
drella's avatar
Lot Lot (NES)

Lot Lot review (NES)

Reviewed on December 23, 2008

If this sounds a bit more like a drawn-out chore than an actual puzzle, it is. Youíre merely switching contents around and waiting for membranes to give way as you keep one square completely cleared to avoid losing. Keep swinging contents further from the bottom left toward the top right, or toward gaps that lead to scoring channels and rid the problem with immediacy. Worse, this is all done at an agonizingly slow pace. Like most any puzzle game, lather-rinse-repeat applies.
drella's avatar
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (PC)

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion review (PC)

Reviewed on December 19, 2008

This is the thing with Oblivion. Just as you manage to suspend disbelief and let the high-fantasy tide wash over you, something completely moronic happens and you're thrown rather aggressively back to the dismal reality of sitting in front of a screen, playing an embarrassingly geeky computer game. I'm never usually one to moan about glitches all that much, but when they regularly remove you from the whole experience, it's difficult not to let it hamper your fun.
Lewis's avatar
Everyday Shooter (PlayStation 3)

Everyday Shooter review (PS3)

Reviewed on December 17, 2008

I donít care what youíre doing, itís instantly way cooler when things are exploding and someoneís riffing on a guitar behind it. That youíre the cause of these explosions and riffs makes Everyday Shooter not only amazingly cool, but also extremely addictive.
zippdementia's avatar
Europa Universalis III Complete (PC)

Europa Universalis III Complete review (PC)

Reviewed on December 17, 2008

Approximately a year ago, Jason Venter reviewed the vanilla version of Europa Universalis III for this very site. Jason articulately chronicled his rise to power as Calais in the fifteenth century, writing of how rebels would easily seize territory and he would hastily be defeated. Mr.Venter discovered, very quickly, the importance of being a competent leader. The people do not respond well to being constantly drafted into the forces, nor do they appreciate needlessly high taxes. If you are a fair ruler and concentrate on appeasing the masses (along with your neighbours) then the game makes for a very pleasant experience.
Melaisis's avatar
March! Offworld Recon (PC)

March! Offworld Recon review (PC)

Reviewed on December 16, 2008

If March-exclamation-mark-Offworld Recon had simply flashed up a load of static images of killer robots and huge chain-guns, layered on top of its preposterous midi-techno soundtrack, I'd have had a hell of a lot more fun. This is a first-person shooter with about as much personality and intrigue as a beige wall. There's far less context to it all than the original Doom. It manages to spectacularly predate a fifteen-year-old game in every conceivable way apart from when it was released.
Lewis's avatar
Chrono Trigger (DS)

Chrono Trigger review (DS)

Reviewed on December 15, 2008

The best addition to the game proves to be the use of the DS to redesign the menus and controls, and the dual screen functionality which makes viewing the menus a breeze. It might not be much more than a fresh look at the classic, but then fans werenít really looking for a reinvention.
zippdementia's avatar
Nancy Drew Dossier: Lights, Camera, Curses! (PC)

Nancy Drew Dossier: Lights, Camera, Curses! review (PC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2008

Despite my worst fears, Nancy Drew has not undergone a lobotomy. Lights, Camera, Curses! is the premier of the Nancy Drew Dossier series, designed specifically for detectives crunched for time. But even though it requires less brain power to solve, Curses still shows the super sleuth at her resourceful best.
woodhouse's avatar
Hot Pinball (Arcade)

Hot Pinball review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2008

The theme of each board? Health class diagrams of the female reproductive system!
drella's avatar
Football Director DS (DS)

Football Director DS review (DS)

Reviewed on December 15, 2008

Football Director DS is a promising youth team player. The foundations for a worthwhile asset are there for all to see; it simply needs to be carefully cultivated in the future to reach full potential.
EmP's avatar
Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (Xbox 360)

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows review (X360)

Reviewed on December 15, 2008

So to conclude that Web of Shadows was loaded with potential would be quite the understatement. Ultimately, the game fails miserably to live up to that potential, sort of like Penny Hardaway. And why is that? Because Web of Shadows drags. Oh how it drags.
Masters's avatar
Kaboom! (Atari 2600)

Kaboom! review (A2600)

Reviewed on December 14, 2008

Notorious serial bomber Baron von Blitzkrieg is astir once more, perched against an entirely gray background atop a solid olive green wall, awaiting his cue to strike. Still adorned in the black-and-white striped jailbird outfit he broke out of the big house in Ė the ensemble accessorized by the black mask with cutout eyeholes stretched across the width of his face Ė the criminal mastermind holds his soon to be unleashed explosive in the palms of his hands, a scowl perpetually across his face, only fleeting for the few brief seconds when victory is his. The crew-cut culprit stands motionless, emotionless, daring us to dare him.
drella's avatar
Boxing (Atari 2600)

Boxing review (A2600)

Reviewed on December 14, 2008

Despite its rudimentary appearance, fundamental match rules, and the fact the only sound effect present is the ungraceful grunt of worn leather connecting with human hide, Boxing still manages to present an engaging experience, albeit for a short period of time, due to its scoring system. Landed punches by either Floyd or Samuel will be tallied as either one or two points, depending on the accuracy and impact of the blow, with the total scores posted at the top of the screen. And this is where strategy starts to come into play.
drella's avatar
Super Mario Land (Game Boy)

Super Mario Land review (GB)

Reviewed on December 14, 2008

Two levels amongst the dozen total stand out; the conclusion of the second world forces Mario into a missile-armed submarine for some side-scrolling shmup action while in the finale he becomes a red baron and takes to the skies to battle bird menace Biokinton and final boss Tatanga in a similar manner. Never before, and never since, has Mario strayed into this genre, and though relatively easy forays, the best reason to play Super Mario Land is for these novelties. The simple departures from the formulaic platforming are endearing; there's an unuttered joy in bursting blocks and collecting coins far from the established series manner. And if you'd rather be bopping enemies on the head, these levels hardly overstay their welcome. More likely you'll be wanting more.
drella's avatar
The Castlevania Adventure (Game Boy)

The Castlevania Adventure review (GB)

Reviewed on December 11, 2008

Virtually all of this level is you in a race against time while spikes descend upon you, chase you as you ascend a tower and follow after you while you sprint to the left. You'll be jumping across plummeting platforms and narrow blocks like crazy, whipping worms who stand in your path and doing whatever you can to stay ahead of the pursuing spikes. With a character that neither jumps nor moves well. After getting through all that, I was so mentally drained I wasn't even bothered by how pitifully weak the humanoid bat creature boss wound up being.
overdrive's avatar
A Vampyre Story (PC)

A Vampyre Story review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2008

A Vampyre Story has the overflowing charm of the Lucas Arts classics, it's voiced properly and it's completely stable. It's fabulously drawn and suitably silly, with puzzles that follow at least the classic adventure school of logic. It has some of the best cinematic sequences I've seen in a long time. It has characters I actually wanted to speak to, instead of just stabbing them repeatedly in the face with a spork. But sometimes, just sometimes... it's a bit boring.
Lewis's avatar
Pet Pals: New Leash on Life (PC)

Pet Pals: New Leash on Life review (PC)

Reviewed on December 08, 2008

Pet Pals: New Leash on Life isn't all snuggles and kisses. Through 38 patient examinations, it illustrates realistic courses of medical treatment for animals in need. Given its subtitle, though, this game should've gone further in expounding the challenges in adoption.
woodhouse's avatar
Multiwinia: Survival of the Flattest (PC)

Multiwinia: Survival of the Flattest review (PC)

Reviewed on December 08, 2008

Rather than carefully constructing a balanced army, Multiwinia demands victory through superior manouvers, feinting and flanking, and knowing when to retreat and when to press the attack. Should you amass your Multis for a later assault, or have them charge out of the spawn points to bolster that choke point? All this planning might sound complicated, but Multiwinia's intuitive interface frees up enough brainpower to make tactical planning almost instinctual, as easy as 3.141592653589...
WilltheGreat's avatar

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