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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Big Bang Mini (DS)

Big Bang Mini review (DS)

Reviewed on January 13, 2009

I’ve learnt to destroy heat-seeking cod skeletons with fireworks. Now excuse me while I save the world.
EmP's avatar
Lumines Supernova (PlayStation 3)

Lumines Supernova review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 09, 2009

Each stage is played in a series of “skins.” These skins make up a background and a musical track. Every time you do anything, whether it be moving a block or erasing a stack, the music reacts. the background pulses and shifts. As you stay alive, the skin changes, so that playing the game becomes less an attempt to get lots of points and more an attempt to stay alive to see as many interesting skins as possible.
zippdementia's avatar
Valkyria Chronicles (PlayStation 3)

Valkyria Chronicles review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 08, 2009

Valkyria Chronicles looks like a water color painting in motion. Whoever made this artistic decision is a genius, because watercolors make anything look amazing, whether it be a stream or a pile of rocks, and here you’re seeing whole countrysides and full out warfare. The baleful music and the beautiful art blend together to create a nostalgic feel that leaves you coming back for the same broken mechanics and repetitious dialogue.
zippdementia's avatar
Meteos Wars (Xbox 360)

Meteos Wars review (X360)

Reviewed on January 08, 2009

When I first started playing this game, I felt like I was being dropped into the fastest level of Tetris with no warning. While I now feel I've gotten the hang of things, it still moves fast enough to demand all my concentration in order to top my computer opponent. While each contest only lasts three minutes, that time seems an eternity as I frantically try to keep from being overwhelmed by the blocks quickly filling my side of the screen, while attempting to craft large enough combos to put the computer in a world of hurt.
overdrive's avatar
Final Fight Guy (SNES)

Final Fight Guy review (SNES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2009

What the player actually gets is the exact same game as the original SNES version with one difference — Cody is gone and replaced with Guy. Yep, that’s it. The fourth level doesn't find its way back into the game and there still is no two-player mode. But, uh, you do get to play with Guy and that has to amount to something, right?
overdrive's avatar
TrackMania DS (DS)

TrackMania DS review (DS)

Reviewed on January 05, 2009

The sulky shot soon turned into a toast. I have no idea how the Scots at Firebrand have managed it, but Trackmania DS is a triumph. I can’t help feel this may have been to spite me.
EmP's avatar
The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga (PlayStation 2)

The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 04, 2009

You could, in fact, buy the entire compilation for ‘98 alone, and not a single person would blame you. But included is five years of iconic team battling all held together by an over-branching plot that would do numerous RPGs proud, the trip back in time is indeed appreciated.
EmP's avatar
Perfect Dark Zero (Xbox 360)

Perfect Dark Zero review (X360)

Reviewed on January 04, 2009

Co-op modes commonly up the enemy count with the inclusion of a second player, and as well they should. Taking a friend in tow demands more targets to aim at, and Zero obligates. It obliges in the form of crippling overkill.
EmP's avatar
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl (PC)

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl review (PC)

Reviewed on December 31, 2008

Stalker is so far removed from the relentless fright-a-minute conventions of the genre that it somehow works on a much higher level than any of its competitors. A staggering majority of Stalker takes place in wide, open and relatively calm outdoor expanses. But the atmosphere never lets up; it only shifts from mood to mood. It's unsettling for different reasons, and on the occasions where it throws the real chills at you, the effect is mind-blowing.
Lewis's avatar
Thunder Force VI (PlayStation 2)

Thunder Force VI review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 31, 2008

It's obvious that Sega and the former Technosoft employees who worked on this project still love the same scenes that I loved ten, fifteen, seventeen years ago. That reassures me; my fascination with such details was clearly no accident. For children who have grown up, for people who stopped embellishing in their minds and only accept what's "real"... Thunder Force 6 makes those moments real — no imagination required!
zigfried's avatar
Rogue Galaxy (PlayStation 2)

Rogue Galaxy review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 30, 2008

It also doesn't help that the two companions you can have at your side at any time are idiots. I didn't notice those guys going for charge attacks when necessary, leaving me to do that myself while they ineffectively flailed at the monsters. They also didn't seem all that keen on blocking attacks or any sort of evasive action. Instead, they'd occasionally request to use a healing item or ability when they felt that'd be a good change of pace from blindly running at monsters and attacking with all the grace and style of a drunken berserker.
overdrive's avatar
LittleBigPlanet (PlayStation 3)

LittleBigPlanet review (PS3)

Reviewed on December 30, 2008

Suddenly I felt hope. Hope for myself. Hope for humanity. Sony might’ve intended HOME to be their global glue for PS3 players, but the true community is right here, in Little Big Planet.
zippdementia's avatar
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 4: Dangeresque 3 - The Criminal Projective (PC)

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 4: Dangeresque 3 - The Criminal Projective review (PC)

Reviewed on December 26, 2008

dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Zoom! (Genesis)

Zoom! review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 25, 2008

EmP's avatar
Guardians/Denjin Makai II (Arcade)

Guardians/Denjin Makai II review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 24, 2008

Picture yourself as a buxom beauty, your long blonde hair flowing in a ponytail as you sprint across the scorched desert sands of an oil field, your thigh-high white heeled boots kicking up puffs of silt and debris. Generic, gray uniformed enforcers decorated in visors and body armors of red and blue confront with fists drawn. You’re Kurokishi, trusted guardian of peace and love. They’re up to no good. In this genre, those circumstances suffice.
drella's avatar
Daikatana (Game Boy Color)

Daikatana review (GBC)

Reviewed on December 24, 2008

Due to fancy time/space manipulation, Hiro has his own Daikatana, but his version of the sword has no magic power. Fortunately, for a villain, Kage is remarkably helpful and repeatedly decides to assert his power over your group by teleporting them to various time periods — where Hiro can get his sword powered up by helping the right folk. Why doesn't Kage just use his power to kill Hiro and end his pitiful rebellion? Well, due to the laws of physics or some other hogwash, if two versions of the Daikatana collide, everything goes boom due to creating a paradox or whatever.
overdrive's avatar
Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories (PlayStation 2)

Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 24, 2008

A departure from the hit-the-x-button gameplay of the rest of the series, this system is lauded as either brilliantly strategic or pathetically broken. I myself call it strategically pathetic, but I like it nonetheless.
zippdementia's avatar
Indigo Prophecy (PlayStation 2)

Indigo Prophecy review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 23, 2008

It’s around here that Marcus stops worrying about his mental health and starts trying to be middle America’s answer to Chow Yun Fat on a tabletop-sized slab of LSD. It’s about here you may want to start thinking about employing your console’s off switch.
EmP's avatar
Dynowarz: The Destruction of Spondylus (NES)

Dynowarz: The Destruction of Spondylus review (NES)

Reviewed on December 23, 2008

And after seven sequences of this, it all abruptly ends. No more muted, garish colors. No more laughable showdowns. No more trying to hit a miniature velociraptor with a stupid arcing bomb because the power-up literally blocked your path on the opposite side of a gorge, forcing you to die or collect it.
drella's avatar
Lot Lot (NES)

Lot Lot review (NES)

Reviewed on December 23, 2008

If this sounds a bit more like a drawn-out chore than an actual puzzle, it is. You’re merely switching contents around and waiting for membranes to give way as you keep one square completely cleared to avoid losing. Keep swinging contents further from the bottom left toward the top right, or toward gaps that lead to scoring channels and rid the problem with immediacy. Worse, this is all done at an agonizingly slow pace. Like most any puzzle game, lather-rinse-repeat applies.
drella's avatar

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