Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Monsters vs. Aliens review (X360) Reviewed on May 01, 2009 If you want to get all of your characters' upgrades (and/or look at the concept art, 3-D character models, etc. you also can purchase), you'll be following up a number of stages with mini-stages covering the EXACT SAME ground you just crossed. Holy repetition, Batman!
	Lux-Pain review (DS) Reviewed on April 29, 2009 The game's primary failure is a very basic one: the story just isn't compelling. One important element for any visual novel is believable characters. Some of Atsuki's classmates manage to avoid standard stereotypes (the fortune-telling blonde is particularly refreshing) but several of the villains are simply outrageous. One early baddie — a bald man with evil pointy ears and creepy narrow stalker eyes — repeatedly professes his love for guns and hatred for schoolchildren.
	BattleForge review (PC) Reviewed on April 28, 2009 EA Phenomic's latest effort could have served as a glorious marriage between the familiar and the exotic, like fusion cuisine for gamers. Instead it ended up tasting like two types of leftovers tossed together in the same take-out box.
	I'm Gonna Nurse You - Voice Plus!- review (PC) Reviewed on April 27, 2009 Though each leading lady to a certain extent has her own personality, they mostly share an obsession for your penis and will request regularly that you prove your love for them with your genitals. Similarly, the moment when you first do the deed doesn't ever feel right. One minute you're chatting it up and the next you're swapping spit and falling onto the nearest surface for a quickie while your partner professes embarrassment but wiggles her body so you can penetrate deeper. Whether she's wearing a nurse's habit (the fetish this game is most clearly meant to satisfy) or a nun's habit (an odd inclusion, but one that works), your woman of choice behaves the same.
	Gobliiins 4 review (PC) Reviewed on April 27, 2009 If this sounds negative, then it’s because it is! Gobliiins 4 is a flawed game, filled with problems, awkward design decisions and a baffling lack of foresight. It’s ugly, clumsy and displays nothing that would push you onwards into the late levels. Except for the puzzles.
	Supreme Ruler 2020: Global Crisis review (PC) Reviewed on April 27, 2009 Global Crisis doesn't do anything wrong by any definition, very competently building on the strengths of the core game and bringing more toys and scenarios to the mix. But neither does it add anything really new that shakes up the gameplay, and I confess to a bit of disappointment at that.
	Blue Dragon Plus review (DS) Reviewed on April 26, 2009 What good is equipping your meat shield as a monster bait when your stupid healer won’t stop standing in front of him? The more numbers mean the greater chance for complete chaos, and it’s all too tempting to ignore the game’s wishes to break your forces into four small platoons to explore different corners of the map independently when you can redistribute characters to far-flung areas between battles without penalty.
	Braid review (PC) Reviewed on April 26, 2009 Heaven forbid I have to move to the left while writing this review. Over the past few days, I've become so wrapped up in Braid's warped fourth dimension that I can't get these crazy time laws out of my head. If I move to the left, I'll lose everything, erasing my progress as the timeline reverses. That said, if deadline looms too close, maybe I can wear my special ring and slow down the clock. I could always rewind if something went awry...
	Runes of Magic review (PC) Reviewed on April 22, 2009 From first glance, the game defines itself as a generic fantasy MMORPG. It doesn't even try to disguise itself as anything truly unique, making clear that its basically everything you'd expect from the get-go. All the usual features are here, from the typical character classes (warrior, mage etc.), to an extensive creation myth that has no relevance to the quests or characters in-game.
	PopCap Arcade Vol 2 review (X360) Reviewed on April 22, 2009 Packed with three games typical of PopCap's output over the last year or so, the compilation brings brings something to the table that should appeal to just about everyone. For those who are just jumping into the whole casual gaming thing, for those who haven't taken their Xbox 360 consoles online and even for your grandmother or little sister who has barely touched her Xbox 360 Elite since you bought it for her this past holiday, the time to sit up and take notice has officially arrived.
	Sins of a Solar Empire – Entrenchment review (PC) Reviewed on April 21, 2009 Originally slated for release near the beginning of this year, Stardock wisely delayed this expansion and instead opened up beta testing to the community, allowing anyone who'd pre-ordered the game (such as myself) to contribute to development. The result is one of the most polished expansions I've seen in my many years of digital conquest, well-balanced and virtually bug-free upon official release.
	Resident Evil 5 review (X360) Reviewed on April 19, 2009 It’s fine with me when the game starts to segue into cut scenes built right off the previous game’s frantic war against biological experiments gone wrong and hunting for brains, but it seems to go jarringly against what they tried to do with the last outing. For those of you out there who started the series at 4, prepare to be confused.
	Wanted: Weapons of Fate review (PS3) Reviewed on April 19, 2009 Wanted: Weapons of Fate falls quite comfortably into the third-person shooter mold. You can run up to someone and gut him with a squishy-sounding thrust of your knife to his stomach or throat when it suits you, but most of your energy is reserved for the exchange of flying lead as you duck behind destructible bits of the environment and hope that your aim is good enough to wipe out all of the thugs that are gunning for you. If you let yourself run out of ammo, the game can get very frustrating as enemies stand two feet away and pelt you with bullets while you hug a wall that you're using for cover and fiddle with the camera. There's perhaps no sound more frightening than the echo of a hollow chamber when you expected a bang.
	101-in-1 Explosive Megamix review (DS) Reviewed on April 17, 2009 The Explosive Megamix offers up a variety of minigames – sheer volume compels it. Shooting hoops and throwing darts are normal. Reuniting star-crossed lovers by way of catapult is not. If you can find a dozen gems in this electic compilation, then the title is worth its price. The odds are in your favor.
	Resident Evil 5 review (PS3) Reviewed on April 17, 2009 Upon opening one door on their way to the rendezvous point, they encounter their first Ganado.....I mean Majini (same thing, different ethnicity). After blasting it to hell, it doesn't take long for our heroes to find themselves in deep doo-doo, as they get chased around the town by a horde of Majini led by a hulking chap wielding an executioner's axe. The main goal here, at least for a first-time player, is simply to survive long enough for a scripted event to kick in, allowing you to escape unscathed. In other words, it's the early-game village scene from RE 4 with a few minor tweaks.
	Wheelman review (PS3) Reviewed on April 17, 2009 You'll have plenty of opportunities to go up against both gangsters and police as you tour Barcelona. Because Milo is a wheelman, many of the stages naturally involve a lot of interaction with other vehicles at high speeds. Besides leaping from ride to ride, you can stick to the one you currently have and use it like a battering ram. Much of the surrounding environment is more destructible than your current set of wheels, so you'll generally get to exchange a few bumps with your opponent as trees, motorcyclists and park benches fly to either side of your grill like hay swept away by a hurricane.
	Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X. review (PS3) Reviewed on April 16, 2009 Though you may tweak the controls with various assistance features to curb instability, the game never feels right. For the first few hours, you will battle the controls more than the enemy. Funnily enough, the enemies are easy – so easy that there are missions where you’ll spend more time staring at the radar (to locate enemies) than the actual stage. Most enemies can be taken out in two simple steps: (1) lock-on and (2) fire a missile. To increase your success rate, fire two missiles at the same time.
	Tokyo Beat Down review (DS) Reviewed on April 16, 2009 What Tokyo Beat Down does right is all in its script. Developer Success and localizer Atlus know they’re working in a genre filled with clichés and Lewis Cannon’s every word and interaction with NPCs reflects this. They go so far as to name the NPCs things like "Cop who is providing back story" and "guy who is about to get beat up.” There are even multiple endings, and it's to the writer's credit that I'm curious to see what they are and what plot elements they reveal. Unfortunately, you couldn't pay me to play through again.
	The King of Fighters '98 Ultimate Match review (PS2) Reviewed on April 12, 2009 It'd be easy to declare Ultimate Match a success based on the slick control, absurdly huge roster, energetic visuals, and sweet dual soundtracks. But the thing that truly makes Ultimate Match stand out is SNK Playmore's understanding of fighting game players.
	Challenge Me: Math Workout review (DS) Reviewed on April 11, 2009 If you’re one of those odd people who think these things are great, then here you’ll find a game simply not having enough options to place it above the hordes of other games that insist number crunching is a super way to pass your time.

Additional Results (20 per page)

[001] [002] [003] [004] [005] [006] [007] [008] [009] [010] [011] [012] [013] [014] [015] [016] [017] [018] [019] [020] [021] [022] [023] [024] [025] [026] [027] [028] [029] [030] [031] [032] [033] [034] [035] [036] [037] [038] [039] [040] [041] [042] [043] [044] [045] [046] [047] [048] [049] [050] [051] [052] [053] [054] [055] [056] [057] [058] [059] [060] [061] [062] [063] [064] [065] [066] [067] [068] [069] [070] [071] [072] [073] [074] [075] [076] [077] [078] [079] [080] [081] [082] [083] [084] [085] [086] [087] [088] [089] [090] [091] [092] [093] [094] [095] [096] [097] [098] [099] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234]

User Help | Contact | Ethics | Sponsor Guide | Links