Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	LEGO Rock Band review (WII) Reviewed on June 13, 2010 Maybe in any other game, I would feel pretentiously ashamed from having any kind of musical association with Counting Crows and Rascal Flatts, but the adorable Lego overhaul strips the game of the pseudo-seriousness exhibited in other musical titles, be they Rock Band or Guitar Hero. My biggest rival through the tour mode was a disgruntled drum-playing octopus who wasn’t included in the band due to an obscure rule on sea life being allowed in a contracted band, and I had to help demolish a strangely indestructible building by playing Tick Tick Boom at it until it fell over.
	Slime Master review (X68K) Reviewed on June 12, 2010 Slime Master stars a lovely blonde lass with perky breasts. Since the developers failed to give her a name, I'll call her Pamela. She's a shy one, requiring not one but two bedroom visits before getting naked.
	Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance II review (PS2) Reviewed on June 12, 2010 Mordoc illustrates he's smarter than everyone, which proves to be a mistake, as that sort of tomfoolery will DEFINITELY turn your attention towards him. Also, there are a couple of optional areas you can raid for treasure and each character has his or her own specific side quest. All in all, you'll spend a good number of hours killing stuff and collecting treasure.
	Hexyz Force review (PSP) Reviewed on June 11, 2010 If you're looking for the next big thing in JRPGs, you're better off looking elsewhere, but if you have an itch for some traditional JRPG goodness, Hexyz Force might be just the thing to scratch it.
	Blur review (X360) Reviewed on June 07, 2010 the weapons that you have at your disposal aren't particularly thrilling. The most explosive of them are the homing missiles, as well as mines that sit on tracks like rubber balls with black rings around them. The mines are easily avoided and even the missiles can be shaken from your trail with a well-timed swerve. Shields and nitrous boosts look to add strategy to the proceedings, plus I like the fact that you can hold as many as three items at once, but the races are so focused on providing a frantic experience that any of that theoretical strategy is rendered null and void. You'll quickly discover that in most instances, you can do alright by using items immediately rather than hoarding them.
	Picross 3D review (DS) Reviewed on June 06, 2010 You basically just knock blocks around with your stylus and hope that you hit the right ones so that you can keep chipping away at a mass of blocks and turn them into a three-dimensional image of a flower or a butterfly or some guy walking through a doorway or whatever else. It doesn't sound exciting—and it isn't—and it doesn't sound engaging... but it is.
	Uno review (X360) Reviewed on June 02, 2010 For the most part, Uno is a laid-back, chilled experience that can either be played as a bite-sized relaxant in between bigger games or as a surprisingly easy way to burn away several hours.
	Jewel Quest Mysteries: Curse of the Emerald Tear review (DS) Reviewed on May 31, 2010 As things stand, there absolutely no reason to recommend this over any of the other Jewel Quest entries already out there. By picking up an older version, you are spared from inclusions that lessen the overall effect and get the experience the game as it should have been kept.
	3D Dot Game Heroes review (PS3) Reviewed on May 31, 2010 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time did many things well and earned itself a gold star in the gaming annals, but it made some changes that moved its franchise away from some of its core values and started it down what I would call "the wrong road." The move into the third dimension definitely could have gone a lot of differently than it did. What I like about 3D Dot Game Heroes is that it fearlessly explores one of those other directions. What I adore about the game is that it actually makes that revised direction work!
	Sam & Max: The Tomb of Sammun-Mak review (PC) Reviewed on May 30, 2010 Forget about this shaping up to be the best Sam & Max season yet: this is shaping up to be the best thing Telltale have produces thus far.
	Wings of Prey review (PC) Reviewed on May 30, 2010 It’s not an easy task to please everyone, but Wings of Prey tries to do just that and, in a lot of ways, actually manages to succeed.
	Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 review (PS3) Reviewed on May 23, 2010 The designers succeeded in creating a strong sense of chaos throughout the campaign where it seemed that calamity was waiting around every corner. Maybe I was skulking through the back alleys of a South American city to capture someone with information I needed while fighting off that guy's personal militia. Or storming a governmental building in order to retake it from enemy forces. Or defending my position inside a house from wave after wave of soldiers. It seemed like I was nearly always under siege from multiple angles.
	Alan Wake review (X360) Reviewed on May 23, 2010 While it doesn't boast the same degree of maddening obscurity as Twin Peaks or the seriously refined scripts of The X-Files, it's up there as far as games go. Wake's increasingly loose grip on reality makes for a satisfyingly confusing plot, though a few more risks with the presentation and pacing could really have made his journey as screwed up as the one that Dale Cooper undertook in Twin Peaks.
	Peter Jackson's King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie review (X360) Reviewed on May 22, 2010 There’s brilliance included, and stand-out moments litter the game like pinpricks of inspiration, but they tend to get lost in the bog of over-championed ideas best explored in moderation but dished out mercilessly in servings of pure overkill.
	Monster Hunter Tri review (WII) Reviewed on May 20, 2010 The gorgeous visuals aren't just window dressing, either. They lend a distinct vibe to each environment and they remind you where you are at all times. That's important when your continued survival often requires that you don't let yourself forget. A pool of stagnant water could mean that a monster is lying beneath its surface, after all. Bubbles rising from a suspicious plant along the floor of a tranquil pool of water could mean that a monster lurks just below the muck. The level of immersion is breathtaking at times.
	Iron Man 2 review (PS3) Reviewed on May 20, 2010 It's difficult to feel the rush of adrenaline that should come from flight when you're cruising down bland, confined corridors with junk that probably is supposed to look like something futuristic but really just looks like a bunch of blobs and squares. Even the outdoor environments lack that certain something special. They're not quite draped in fog, yet somehow the effect is the same. There are no beautiful vistas and there's no polish. Every surface is dull and lifeless. The most a person could maybe say in the game's defense is that some of the machines are pretty big, but there's not much to them.
	Get to tha Choppa!!1 review (X360) Reviewed on May 20, 2010 Get to tha Choppa is a shallow point-rush game with the depth and cosmetic values of a simple flash game.
	Trauma Team review (WII) Reviewed on May 17, 2010 Know this: saving lives will never feel the same. Previous games in the Trauma Center series focused solely on the quick thinking and precision reflexes required to perform miraculous surgeries. For better and worse, those days are over. Trauma Team retools surgery to make it more accessible, then folds it together with five other disciplines, promising an unprecedented amount of variety. The eruption of ideas is almost too much for one title to contain.
	Cotton: Fantastic Night Dreams review (TGCD) Reviewed on May 16, 2010 When I think of "terror", I don't think of dirty hallways in need of a janitor. I think of grim forests populated by child-eating trees. I think of dungeons adorned with living statues that exist solely to murder little girls. Cotton weaves through obstacles in all of these areas, accompanied only by the nearly-naked fairy Silk (don't call Silk an "option"; she hates that). Everything else is trying to kill Cotton.
	Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition review (X360) Reviewed on May 14, 2010 Zeno Clash is so aggressively bizarre that when you call it “imaginative,” you’re in danger of giving its creators more credit than they deserve. So much of what’s here strikes me as weirdness for the sake of weirdness that the game’s most beautiful or striking moments, of which there are many, may very well have turned up by complete accident.

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