Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Naughty Bear review (X360) Reviewed on July 07, 2010 Each new weapon has a kill animation to go with it, but none of those animations are all that amusing after the first three or four times that you see them. I enjoy pouncing on an over-sized bear and hacking apart his face with an ax as much as the next guy, but the game's cover artwork looks substantially more depraved than the final product actually feels. Where's the crimson, or at least a cloud of puff? These are the blandest ax murders you'll ever see, hands down. Unless you're switching weapons constantly (and perhaps even then), you could easily tire of the animations before you even finish the first of the game's many repetitive stages.
	Sam & Max: They Stole Max's Brain! review (PC) Reviewed on July 03, 2010 Here, he needs to disturb an alliance between previous chapter’s villains using chicanery and random vandalism, while disembodied Max, his brain kept snug in a sealed jar, complete with electronic voice box and L.E.D mouth, antagonizes all around him out of sheer boredom.
	Dragon Ball: Revenge of King Piccolo review (WII) Reviewed on July 02, 2010 Dragonball: Revenge of King Piccolo has some potential as a side-scrolling adventure, but some unfortunate stumbles prevent it from serving as the enjoyable introduction to the game franchise that it so easily could have been.
	Gang Wars review (ARC) Reviewed on July 01, 2010 What's harder to explain are the numerous other problems. Gang Wars is characterized by slack issues that have grown increasingly noticeable since the Prisoners of War codebase it probably leveraged. Animation is stilted and choppy with not enough frames per attack, and the frames loop through at incongruent rates, one player throwing a punch and back to normal stance while the other still has his head careened back after a blow to the jaw. GW excels relative to its peers at providing a variety of different attackers, but negates that success by stacking them anyway – the same sprite may only be used once, but when it is you’ll fight three of the same guy at the same time anyway.
	TwinBee 3: Poko Poko Dai Maou review (NES) Reviewed on July 01, 2010 In Detana!! TwinBee (aka: Bells & Whistles), the entire game exhibited the same sort of imagination these bosses did. There were floating cities, waterfalls in outer space and other enchanting sights to fly over. Here...there's a quintet of generic-looking backgrounds ranging from the mundane beach-and-water combo of the second stage to the atrocious checkerboard design of the final level.
	RISK: Factions review (X360) Reviewed on June 29, 2010 The "Factions" mode adds a few wrinkles to that classic formula. The maps that you'll explore are different, with special new attractions that give particular territories new value. For example, it's possible to lay siege to an island temple. Doing so means that during each turn that you hold that fortified position, you can choose a single one of your opponent's territories to convert to your own (along with any troops who happen to be stationed there). Just imagine the possibilities. Whoever has that temple has tremendous power, but the temple grounds are obviously going to be under constant attack.
	8-bit Girlfriend review (X360) Reviewed on June 29, 2010 8-bit Girlfriend is a paper thin joke that doesn’t even stay around long enough to wear out its welcome.
	Resident Evil 5: Untold Stories review (X360) Reviewed on June 27, 2010 Untold Stories, as a whole, is a fantastic package that allows you to experience both sides of Resident Evil 5‘s extremes in their very best light.
	Sin & Punishment: Star Successor review (WII) Reviewed on June 27, 2010 It's hard to do justice to the intensity and creativity of Successor to the Skies. All I can hope to do is to convince you that the foundations are in place and give you a mere glimpse of the imagination that flows through this title. If you’re even a little bit convinced then I urge you to go out and experience the insanity for yourself. Sin and Punishment: Successor to the Skies is exactly the game that people have in mind when they think of Treasure.
	Starcraft review (MAC) Reviewed on June 27, 2010 This is Starcraft. This is a game that can still inspire excitement and interest more than a decade after its initial release. It does this despite having outdated graphics, without including branching paths or moral choices, and with nary a trophy achievement in sight. Starcraft can raise a lot of questions about what’s really important in a game.
	Disney/Pixar Toy Story 3 review (PS3) Reviewed on June 24, 2010 The experience resembles what it might feel like to walk into a room with a huge chest, dig through it and yank out a bunch of my favorite toys, then toss them together and relish the crazy results. Players are presented with a virtual sandbox—a desert town with just a few buildings and a handful of citizens—and then are let loose to have fun. Even just running around the world, trying out magic wands and ray guns is a blast.
	Alpha Protocol review (X360) Reviewed on June 21, 2010 Alpha Protocol isn’t excused of anything it does wrong. There’s the overwhelming sense here that Obsidian bypassed the game's flaws rather than fixing them. That’s almost as good, though, because it makes everything about Alpha Protocol no less than tolerable. Once the game works, once you find an approach to combat that suits you, it’s easy to ignore what the game does wrong and admire what it does right.
	Dead Space review (X360) Reviewed on June 20, 2010 Dead Space doesn’t want to be another forgettable survival horror wannabe. It desperately wants to be taken seriously and, as such, has poured tremendous efforts into establishing its credentials.
	I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MBIES 1NIT!!!1 review (X360) Reviewed on June 20, 2010 If you’re one of the few still left out in the dark, I can guarantee you’re all the poorer for it.
	Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands review (PS3) Reviewed on June 19, 2010 The Forgotten Sands was clearly designed for mainstream consumption. But somewhere along the development process, the line between simplicity and stupidity began to blur. The developers lost sight of what made the last Prince of Persia an unforgettable classic and attempted to create a game they thought the public might enjoy, instead of the one we actually wanted.
	Tecmo Secret of the Stars: A Fantasy review (SNES) Reviewed on June 14, 2010 The Aqutallion party was a group of five kids blended together into some personality-free amalgam of suck. With the Kustera, I was controlling a ninja, a samurai and a dude named "Shark". Sure, none of them were given any personality, either, but I had a great time imagining them on various quests of heroism while I was running them in circles around a town and fighting giant eyeballs, birds and lizards. And let me tell you — in my imagination, Shark is NOT someone you'd want to anger.
	LEGO Rock Band review (WII) Reviewed on June 13, 2010 Maybe in any other game, I would feel pretentiously ashamed from having any kind of musical association with Counting Crows and Rascal Flatts, but the adorable Lego overhaul strips the game of the pseudo-seriousness exhibited in other musical titles, be they Rock Band or Guitar Hero. My biggest rival through the tour mode was a disgruntled drum-playing octopus who wasn’t included in the band due to an obscure rule on sea life being allowed in a contracted band, and I had to help demolish a strangely indestructible building by playing Tick Tick Boom at it until it fell over.
	Slime Master review (X68K) Reviewed on June 12, 2010 Slime Master stars a lovely blonde lass with perky breasts. Since the developers failed to give her a name, I'll call her Pamela. She's a shy one, requiring not one but two bedroom visits before getting naked.
	Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance II review (PS2) Reviewed on June 12, 2010 Mordoc illustrates he's smarter than everyone, which proves to be a mistake, as that sort of tomfoolery will DEFINITELY turn your attention towards him. Also, there are a couple of optional areas you can raid for treasure and each character has his or her own specific side quest. All in all, you'll spend a good number of hours killing stuff and collecting treasure.
	Hexyz Force review (PSP) Reviewed on June 11, 2010 If you're looking for the next big thing in JRPGs, you're better off looking elsewhere, but if you have an itch for some traditional JRPG goodness, Hexyz Force might be just the thing to scratch it.

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