Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	The 7th Saga review (SNES) Reviewed on November 03, 2010 Even on a system renowned for its expansive library of RPGs, successfully completing The 7th Saga is an unforgettable experience. Unfortunately this is solely due to its patently unfair difficulty, because the generic dungeons, incomprehensible abbreviations, and skeletal excuse for a plot would likely put everyone to sleep if all the random encounters weren't straight out of their darkest nightmares.
	Castlevania: Symphony of the Night review (PSX) Reviewed on October 31, 2010 Whether as a loving tribute to the series' glorious past or a striking declaration of its subsequent revival, Symphony of the Night will make any 2D enthusiast shed bloody tears of joy.
	Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines review (PC) Reviewed on October 30, 2010 These aren't the sorts of vampires who constantly whine about their lost humanity or take annoying teenage princesses to the prom. We're talking about hard-drinking and even harder-dying undead anarchists packing UZIs who'd just as soon rip your head off and use it to shoot hoops in the dirty, haunted streets of downtown Los Angeles, except that kind of thing always gets the elders' velvety cloaks in a bunch.
	Shin Megami Tensei review (SNES) Reviewed on October 29, 2010 For Kazuya, a perfectly ordinary Japanese youth, it had been a perfectly ordinary beginning to a perfectly ordinary day. Then his mom gets eviscerated by a demon from the rather similarly torn bowels of the underworld, he accidentally transmogrifies the faithful family hound into Cerberus, and the world ends.
	Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers review (PC) Reviewed on October 28, 2010 Whether in the role of silver-tongued conman or paranormal investigator, Gabriel Knight is definitely someone you'll want to know; his career might have begun just as the entire adventure genre was taking those first, faltering steps on its slow descent into irrelevance, but Sins of the Fathers masterfully demonstrates why Sierra On-Line once drove the computer industry.
	Haunted Casino review (SAT) Reviewed on October 27, 2010 These garments are handed over to the very approving imp in exchange for heaving stacks of chips nearly as abundant as those newly revealed pleasure globes until at last your bankrupt beauty goes down with a hilariously inept video of the poor lass being sucked into a black hole, presumably in search of some pants.
	Splatterhouse 2 review (GEN) Reviewed on October 26, 2010 The controls are stiffer than one of its endless supply of corpses, and the average level is a short, uninspired advance from left to right punching identical hordes of muck-encrusted undead while occasionally hopping over a hole in the floor. There's only one reason this cartridge wasn't totally lost to the shadows of mediocrity – it has enough gore to fill a swimming pool.
	Vampire Killer review (MSX) Reviewed on October 25, 2010 At a cursory glance it might even resemble a simple port, but this impression couldn't be more incorrect – Vampire Killer immediately stands out as a dramatic departure from the rest of the franchise even as its influence can be felt in Simon's Quest, Dracula X, and Symphony of the Night.
	Blue Lacuna review (MAC) Reviewed on October 24, 2010 Don’t think that Blue Lacuna works simply because it doesn’t have graphics or a bunch of explosions, though. Not all Interactive Fiction can claim to have achieved what Blue Lacuna does. This isn’t some throwback to sensibilities that have long gone out of style. This isn’t typing “east, west, and open chest” in a meaningless dungeon romp with some comedy thrown in. This is serious writing. This is next generation programming. This is gaming that is inspirational and lasting.
	X-Men review (ARC) Reviewed on October 24, 2010 Witness earthen bridges over lava fields lined with flame throwing hazards and enormous wasps that spew out a skull carved into a jungle cliff. Shotgun-toting Bonebreaker miniatures rove the inside of Magneto’s lair while stone statues carrying massive scythes animate deep in a ruin. While the dialog detracts from the production value – Magneto’s famous “Welcome to Die!” as he blasts apart a waterfall-side ledge just one egregious example – it is just as likely you find it kitschy as a fault. From crackling lightning in the backdrops to memorable scenes battling a crazed Nimrod as Kitty cowers bound behind an electromagnetic force field, the details go a long way in establishing the comic’s atmosphere.
	Tasty Planet: Back for Seconds review (PC) Reviewed on October 24, 2010 There’s a cleverness in the level design that helps extend the game’s brief lifespan.
	Samurai Shodown Sen review (X360) Reviewed on October 23, 2010 Samurai Shodown Sen is not an awful game. The only way it could be considered "awful" would be to ignore the barely playable fighters that have come out over the last twenty years. The characters perform expected actions whenever I press the buttons, and -- aside from plastic doll faces -- the graphics are well beyond "PlayStation 2 quality". I can say this with confidence because I've actually played PS2 games.
	Vanquish review (X360) Reviewed on October 19, 2010 Vanquish keeps the player too busy for him to stop and wonder if maybe he's seen this all before.
	Enslaved: Odyssey to the West review (X360) Reviewed on October 16, 2010 Its often glaring technical mishaps are eclipsed by sheer artistic majesty. For as easy as the platforming is, the cinematic, almost Uncharted 2-esque set pieces nonetheless manage to create a sense of urgency. Despite the game’s relative simplicity – hell, I’ll settle for shallowness – I was frequently left in awe of the numerous instances in which the escort mechanic just clicks. And for all of those admittedly awful combat segments, the gripping narrative makes it worth the struggle.
	Puzzle Dimension review (MAC) Reviewed on October 16, 2010 Roll forward, carefully now... get that goodie... this is all according to the plan. Oh dear god, I think I just took a wrong turn there! Quickly, remember what happened the last time you tried this. Do I jump once and then twice to clear the gap or is it once, roll a step, jump again, and then I’m free? Wait, why am I still rolling? Is that ice I’m on? Oh, Christ, it’s a pit coming up. Jump jump aw please jump. Is that a spring or a switch? Spring or a switch? Spring or a... oh, phew, it’s a switch. Okay the goal is there, right in front of me, roll towards it... agh, I forgot about the fire tile!
	101-in-1 Megamix review (PSP) Reviewed on October 12, 2010
	Double Dragon review (ARC) Reviewed on October 10, 2010 What ensues is a left to right adventure where Billy, and optionally Jimmy, will match fists with an alarming number of people that have no need for shirts with sleeves. During the first stage, a woman in purple spandex emerges from a doorway cracking a whip. A gargantuan mountain of a man crashes through a brick wall looking to kick your ass. A gang member whips out a knife to sling, which Billy can block, pick up, and fire right back at his throat. Every beat ‘em up for years after copied these identical ideas, and they didn’t copy them from Renegade. They copied them from mission one of Double Dragon.
	Enslaved: Odyssey to the West review (PS3) Reviewed on October 10, 2010
	Fate review (PC) Reviewed on October 09, 2010 Is it ironic when a dungeon crawler with over two billion floors lacks depth?
	Comic Jumper review (X360) Reviewed on October 07, 2010 Captain Smiley is a pretty lousy hero, as the first stage humorously illustrates. His sidekick (a star named "Star" that seems grafted to his chest) hates him, while idolizing arch-nemesis Brad, a "too cool for you" dude who's a good fist-pump away from being part of the Jersey Shore cast. Smiley, so named because his head freakishly resembles an emoticon, starts the game on an adventure that places him in opposition to Brad, his army of sexy female robots and a mad scientist who seems mentally handicapped. Not exactly a murderer's row of super-villains — a sentiment that Smiley seems to share, as the bad guys wind up getting away while "our hero" gets in a prolonged argument with Star over how horrible this particular adventure was.

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