Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Prinny 2: Dawn of Operation Panties, Dood! review (PSP) Reviewed on March 24, 2011 Prinny 2: Dawn of Operation Panties, Dood! is a side-scrolling throwback that classic gamers should definitely enjoy.
	Lufia: The Legend Returns review (GBC) Reviewed on March 24, 2011 Anyhow, not only is the Ancient Cave back in this game, but with twice the number of floors (because, you know, measly 100-floor dungeons are for wimps) AND every single dungeon in the game takes its cue from this place. Yes, they all are multi-floor extravaganzas where everything seems randomly created. This makes things boring. You have no puzzles (unless you consider "striking things on walls to see if that opens up a corridor" to be one) or anything to detract from the tedium. All you do is walk through each floor, avoiding traps, killing monsters and collecting treasures...and then do the same on the next floor and the next until you've completed the dungeon. Then you go to the next town, find out about the next dungeon and do the same there.
	Dragon Age II review (X360) Reviewed on March 24, 2011 I guess people liked the origin stories in the first game so much that BioWare went ahead and made the sequel one giant origin story that cuts short just before it actually goes anywhere. It’s as if someone made a Batman movie that ended with Bruce Wayne putting on his costume for the first time.
	Thunder Force VI review (PS2) Reviewed on March 22, 2011 So, the question for all Thunder Force fans concerns the game's difficulty, something that every shoot-them-up masochist thrives on. Will you bleed out of your eye-balls, curled into nothing more but a pathetic lump of flesh in the corner, knowing that you'll never, ever beat that damn boss on Level 3?
	Thunder Force V: Perfect System review (PSX) Reviewed on March 22, 2011 The Pièce de résistance, is the Final Guardian. He is so alien in his prettiness, so well animated, so deliciously cruel, that you begrudgingly endure how unfair he is. Beating him is hard enough, but what’s worse is that if you don’t beat him fast enough, he will fly away and leave you cursing at the screen as you are ‘awarded’ with the incomplete, false ending for the millionth time.
	Lightening Force: Quest for the Darkstar review (GEN) Reviewed on March 19, 2011 There's a story here somewhere, but it doesn't matter much--this is a side-scrolling shooter after all. And the story is especially irrelevant when the developers, Technosoft, changed things up when they released Thunder Force V packaged with a revised history of the series. Suffice it to say that you will be expected to kill everything in your path in the name of victory. Martyrdom has no place in space.
	Thunder Force AC review (ARC) Reviewed on March 17, 2011 Thunder Force AC got things backwards. It is a book based on a movie. It went straight to DVD, only to be released in theaters the next year.
	Thunder Force III review (GEN) Reviewed on March 17, 2011 Amazingly, on a system inundated with side-scrolling shoot 'em ups, TFIII managed to shine. Critics, shooter fanatics, and casual players alike, found common ground with this cartridge.
	Thunder Force II review (GEN) Reviewed on March 15, 2011 The ideal world is a pipedream. The majority of Thunder Force II is rotten.
	Dragon Quest VI: Realms of Revelation review (DS) Reviewed on March 15, 2011 Though Dragon Quest VI features an interesting and surprisingly complex plot, that’s not actually its most impressive accomplishment. The game probably could have done just as well without doing anything interesting with its plot because the real appeal comes from its impressive scope, its ingenuity and its remarkable depth.
	Thunder Force review (SX1) Reviewed on March 14, 2011 Your ship moves constantly — your input is simply to determine what direction it's moving in at any given time. Making all this movement a bit tricky are the enemies, who tend to constantly swarm your ship as you aimlessly work through each level attempting to figure out exactly what you have to do in order to make it to the next. Thunder Force was essentially a stripped-down version of my least favorite part of my least favorite Genesis game in this series.
	Breath of Death VII: The Beginning review (X360) Reviewed on March 12, 2011 What would you prefer? Sizable boosts to your health and magic or smaller ones to agility, offense and defense? A powerful spell that assaults one monster or a weaker one that hits everything? A strong healing spell or a weaker one that also cures status ailments? From the beginning, you're involved in the evolution of your party and your decisions will wind up determining just how difficult the game's toughest challenges are.
	Vigilante review (ARC) Reviewed on March 11, 2011 Somewhere in between things got goofy. Somehow between the two titans, the earth and the heavens, there were noxious fumes in the atmosphere. Some time in 1988, there was Vigilante.
	Lylian: Episode 1: Paranoid Friendship review (PC) Reviewed on March 10, 2011 Some time into her stay, she mysteriously finds her restraints loose and door unlocked. Free to explore the bleak and darkened corridors of the institute in search of donuts and a kidnapped Bob, the child encounters many bizarre phenomena. Crazed nurses wander the halls, determined to kick the girl into submission, while donut-stuffed fatties try their best to crush her beneath their obese weight.
	Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey review (DS) Reviewed on March 09, 2011 Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey is something of a departure from Atlus's more recent first-party titles: it is very unlike Persona 3 and Persona 4. It is relatively light on plot (and named characters), and instead is much more focused on being a good old-fashioned dungeon crawler. Fans of Nocturne will feel right at home.
	Silent Hill 3 review (PS2) Reviewed on March 09, 2011 The start of the downward spiral.
	Bulletstorm review (X360) Reviewed on March 08, 2011 The game’s a riot, and if supposed top-tier titles like Call of Duty: Black Ops and Killzone 3 are any indication of the degree of stagnation the genre is suffering from, then Bulletstorm is exactly the kick in the nuts that mainstream gaming needs right now. Do what you wouldn’t do for MadWorld: Buy it, and tell the industry that you want more games like it.
	One Chance review (PC) Reviewed on February 26, 2011 One Chance is a bad game for obvious reasons. The graphics are poor, the music is repetitive, the guy walks slowly, the story is silly, player interaction is minimal, and victory is achieved through repetition instead of mastery. Its claim to fame is that you only have one chance unless you game the system.
	Mass Effect 2 review (X360) Reviewed on February 24, 2011 If I’m struggling to record my thoughts on Mass Effect 2 it’s because it excels on so many fronts and does so many things right that it’s hard to settle on just one thing. So I’ll ramble in a word document instead, talk about a few things that caught in my mind and then reveal that I’ve hardly scratched the surface.
	Canabalt review (PC) Reviewed on February 23, 2011 I view people who subscribe to the holy book of Canabalt the same way that Orson Scott Card intended readers to view Xenocide's Qing-Jao: as obsessive and deranged failures, compulsively tracing lines in wood until they realize they've accomplished nothing. Then they die.

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