Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	101-in-1 Sports Party Megamix review (WII) Reviewed on January 11, 2011 I’m simply going to present the facts. Nothing here works. Even with its budget title status, it’s not worth the price of admission.
	Red Dead Redemption review (X360) Reviewed on January 08, 2011 You’ll want to squeeze every second of life from Red Dead Redemption. You’ll do this because you know that, sooner or later, the game will end and you’ll no longer be a part of its world. You‘ll want to elongate your stay. And John Marston will let you, because there might be someone out there somewhere he hasn’t shot at yet.
	Kirby's Adventure review (NES) Reviewed on January 08, 2011 Kirby's Adventure is innocence; a reminder of a youth full of optimism and dreams where even the thought of pitfalls seemed incomprehensible. When life gets me down, it offers solace as its bright colors, wildly varying levels and unrelenting cuteness overwhelm me until I have no choice but to smile and lose myself in the game. Even after all these years, it still has that effect — something that makes me grateful.
	Astonishia Story review (PSP) Reviewed on January 01, 2011 I can’t help but think of Astonisha Story bravely treading water. It was never in its nature to be spectacular, but it could have settled with quietly competent had Ubisoft thrown it a life preserver rather than hurled rocks from the shore.
	Pocket Pool review (PSP) Reviewed on December 30, 2010 HyperDevbox Japan surely set out to do something different, by giving us ‘erotic pool.’ The word on the street is that publishers Conspiracy and Eidos sought to use the Girls Gone Wild license and do something really distinct, but talks fell through. As such, we’re stuck with a random collection of stills and short video clips of nude models and outright porn stars as our erotic content.
	Gunstar Heroes review (PS3) Reviewed on December 21, 2010 Your mission is straightforward enough: As one of the two Heroes — twin brother Red or Blue — you must foil the nefarious Colonel Red (the doppelganger of Street Fighter II’s M. Bison) who has stolen the four Mystic Gems in an plot to unleash the all-powerful Golden Silver — and you’ll want to release your brainwashed older brother Green and rescue hopeless ally Yellow along the way.
	Resident Evil: Survivor review (PSX) Reviewed on December 21, 2010 We’ve been able to rely on Resident Evil games for certain ingredients that bespeak their quality: amazing polygonal graphics, cheesy cinematic cut scenes, and their ability to spook the player. Survivor only gets the cheese right. This game looks horrid, but fails to provide the horror.
	Kozu review (X360) Reviewed on December 18, 2010 Kozu is one of THOSE games that pop up on XBLA in droves; it’s a duel stick shooter that we should really be more pissed at Geometry Wars for popularising. We could try really hard to pretend that Kozu isn’t the latest contender in the homebrew developer’s favourite genre choice, but your denial would have to be measured in galaxies to overcome the sheer volume of evidence to the contrary. So, let’s not. Let’s just talk about how Kozu is an okay little game, but not one to reach the loft heights preset by the likes of Z0MBIES and Zombie Estate.
	Splatterhouse review (PS3) Reviewed on December 09, 2010 Once upon a time, all this blood and nudity would have been daring. I remember gasping in awe when playing the originals . . . of course, those were marketed towards pre-teens who couldn't even get into R-rated flicks. In today's world, hacking up misshapen beasts and grabbing softcore pics just isn't enough.
	Blood Stone: 007 review (X360) Reviewed on December 07, 2010 Whereas GoldenEye Wii and its N64 predecessor lived up to the 007 name, Blood Stone fails to create the highly addictive thrills that gamers and moviegoers have come to expect from the franchise.
	FIFA Soccer 11 review (X360) Reviewed on December 04, 2010 FIFA 11 retains all of what made FIFA 10's engine great, apart from making penalties more of a bother than they need to be, but a lack of meaningful improvements, particularly in its game modes, means that it feels like I'm paying full price mostly just for updated rosters and kits.
	Vectorman review (GEN) Reviewed on December 02, 2010 At the time of this game's release, a big fuss was made over it. Much drooling came about, and many Genesis gamers had to dab gingerly at their foreheads with cold towels. The reason was that BlueSky Software made a truly unique-looking game. Vectorman himself (he's the good guy) is made out of yellow-green spheres, and he animates brilliantly. His composition and movement might bring to mind the PC survival horror not-quite-classic, Ecstatica, had anyone actually played that game. But Vectorman's own good looks grandstand alongside shamefully bland foes, and within missions undeserving of his own undeniable charm.
	Excruciating Guitar Voyage review (PC) Reviewed on November 28, 2010 Excruciating Guitar Voyage is obviously trying to lampoon, [but] it's too far over that line to be funny anymore. Ultimately, it tries too hard and ends up becoming the kind of amateurish and unpolished game it sets out to make fun of.
	Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale review (PC) Reviewed on November 27, 2010 Recettear: An Item Shop Game is the surprise success of 2010, and deservedly so. It’s a homebrew game that, when published by what was little more than a fan base, quickly turned the part-time publishers hobby into a full time job. It doesn’t just exceed expectations: it rewrites them.
	Yoshi review (NES) Reviewed on November 26, 2010 Bloopers. Boos. Piranha plants and goombas. All four encapsulated foes will fall from the skies as an especially pudgy rendition of Mario attempts to sort the baddies’ landing spots upon four separate platters below, his outstretched arms holding any two adjacent columns and a tap of either action button switching the stacks. Match the free-falling type with the type it lands atop and both will disappear, leaving more breathing room beneath the top barrier as the next pair, or on higher levels trio, begins its descent.
	Zero Wing review (GEN) Reviewed on November 23, 2010 Zero Wing is a side-scrolling shooter, of the deliberate, R-Type variety, not the frenetic Thunder Force variety. That in and of itself may seem strange coming from Toaplan, the makers of the prototypically hectic Batsugun and its ilk. But that strangeness isn’t the draw of this mostly mediocre shooter. The draw is the story.
	Rad Mobile review (ARC) Reviewed on November 21, 2010 I remember drooling over magazine screenshots for Rad Mobile, known back in 1991 as "that 32-bit arcade game WHOA MOMMA". I remember actually playing Rad Mobile and being impressed by that first intersection where I had to pass through cross-traffic, as well as the police car barricade . . . in which cruisers actually passed me and spun horizontally to bring my runaway radmobile to a halt.
	Monopoly Streets review (PS3) Reviewed on November 18, 2010 You can play by the standard rule set (with a few minor tweaks from the game that I remember), or you can select a few preset game modes. Those modes have names, such as "Bull Market" (where the players begin with more money and every piece of property is auctioned off before anyone even starts moving around the board) and "Jack Pot" (where it's possible to upgrade spaces that you own with houses and hotels even if you don't have a proper monopoly). If you'd prefer changes that are less drastic, you can create and name various custom configurations for convenient use down the road.
	101-in-1 Sports Megamix review (DS) Reviewed on November 16, 2010 Tennis’ failure doesn’t detract from every game, and you could argue that when given such a large number of sports to partake in, there’s always going to be some duds, and you’re always going to be able to skip over some events and still have enough points locked away to attempt everything. The problem is that there are too many mini-games that play out like the failures than there are the successes.
	Eliminate Down review (GEN) Reviewed on November 16, 2010 For a shooter physique to be adequately robust, there are certain requirements. Its body composition must be as follows: rocking tunes, interesting places and foes, a hard ass level of difficulty, and that muscle which elicits memorable maneuvers from the player. ED's got 'em all in shameful abundance.

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