Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Vigilante review (ARC) Reviewed on March 11, 2011 Somewhere in between things got goofy. Somehow between the two titans, the earth and the heavens, there were noxious fumes in the atmosphere. Some time in 1988, there was Vigilante.
	Lylian: Episode 1: Paranoid Friendship review (PC) Reviewed on March 10, 2011 Some time into her stay, she mysteriously finds her restraints loose and door unlocked. Free to explore the bleak and darkened corridors of the institute in search of donuts and a kidnapped Bob, the child encounters many bizarre phenomena. Crazed nurses wander the halls, determined to kick the girl into submission, while donut-stuffed fatties try their best to crush her beneath their obese weight.
	Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey review (DS) Reviewed on March 09, 2011 Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey is something of a departure from Atlus's more recent first-party titles: it is very unlike Persona 3 and Persona 4. It is relatively light on plot (and named characters), and instead is much more focused on being a good old-fashioned dungeon crawler. Fans of Nocturne will feel right at home.
	Silent Hill 3 review (PS2) Reviewed on March 09, 2011 The start of the downward spiral.
	Bulletstorm review (X360) Reviewed on March 08, 2011 The game’s a riot, and if supposed top-tier titles like Call of Duty: Black Ops and Killzone 3 are any indication of the degree of stagnation the genre is suffering from, then Bulletstorm is exactly the kick in the nuts that mainstream gaming needs right now. Do what you wouldn’t do for MadWorld: Buy it, and tell the industry that you want more games like it.
	One Chance review (PC) Reviewed on February 26, 2011 One Chance is a bad game for obvious reasons. The graphics are poor, the music is repetitive, the guy walks slowly, the story is silly, player interaction is minimal, and victory is achieved through repetition instead of mastery. Its claim to fame is that you only have one chance unless you game the system.
	Mass Effect 2 review (X360) Reviewed on February 24, 2011 If I’m struggling to record my thoughts on Mass Effect 2 it’s because it excels on so many fronts and does so many things right that it’s hard to settle on just one thing. So I’ll ramble in a word document instead, talk about a few things that caught in my mind and then reveal that I’ve hardly scratched the surface.
	Canabalt review (PC) Reviewed on February 23, 2011 I view people who subscribe to the holy book of Canabalt the same way that Orson Scott Card intended readers to view Xenocide's Qing-Jao: as obsessive and deranged failures, compulsively tracing lines in wood until they realize they've accomplished nothing. Then they die.
	Antipole review (X360) Reviewed on February 22, 2011 The gimmick is simple. Go to the right and win. You can jump, you can shoot, and you can invert gravity within a certain radius of the character. And that's it. There's no plot or villain, just you, a plasma rifle, and a hellish maze of circular saws, moving platforms, and angry robots.
	Castlevania: Symphony of the Night review (X360) Reviewed on February 10, 2011 On the other hand, the Reverse Castle possesses the Crissaegrim. This sword, only obtainable as a dropped item by a particular monster (one so weak, you'd never expect it to hold something so godly) is one of my all-time guilty pleasures in gaming. In an instant, Alucard goes from a mere overpowered protagonist to a deity of unholy destruction, flinging waves of agony in front of him with every tap of the attack button. Even the fearsome Guardian suits of armor will fall in no time, while many bosses can be obliterated before they even seem to be fully aware an intruder is in their lair. Few things in gaming can provide the sort of savage, sadistic joy this sword does.
	The Ball review (PC) Reviewed on February 06, 2011 Ballin'
	LittleBigPlanet 2 review (PS3) Reviewed on February 02, 2011 Today’s play session lasted several hours, but I could have just as easily have devoted weeks to the same endeavor. There are literally thousands of options left for me to explore. I’m not sure that I would have believed just how much there is to the LittleBigPlanet 2 community if I hadn’t had the chance to experience it for myself. The people at Media Molecule and Sony have the right to be proud of what they have accomplished, and so do the creative gamers who have become a part of it.
	Crimecraft: Bleedout review (PC) Reviewed on January 30, 2011 It has the chance to stand out from the crowd, to not be just another also-ran, but it would be unfair to say it’s there right now. Should it continue down this path, its future looks promising.
	Cthulhu Saves the World review (X360) Reviewed on January 28, 2011 Thus begins the Old One’s quest for backwards redemption -- defeating some evil so he can unleash a greater evil. Sulking along the sandy beach he arrived at, he rescues his first party member, a star-struck water-based healer who incorrectly paints Cthulhu as her rescuing knight, and stomps off to his first village where he undertakes such heroic tasks as Saving A Boy’s Dog From A Cave.
	ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX review (X360) Reviewed on January 24, 2011 You could choose to mow them down with machine pistols or shotguns. With rocket launchers, plasma cannons or flare guns. With flamethrowers, assault rifles, proxy mines, grenade launchers or samurai swords. Railguns, icebeams, mini-nukes, souped-up pistols, golden guns or just a plain old kick to the head.
	Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop review (LYNX) Reviewed on January 23, 2011 Like Kung Food, Dirty Larry compensates with enough health that you can get lucky and progress through much of the game. Both are examples of games that are fundamentally poor and have used above average size lifebars to try to hide the damning facts, that hits on opponents often don't register and situations they create incur unavoidable damage on the player. Both are barebones concept games with zero creativity after the initial concept and failed execution throughout.
	Xenon 2: Megablast review (GEN) Reviewed on January 23, 2011 I respect Xenon 2 for the envelopes it pushed, but this doesn’t qualify it for a free pass; it doesn’t excuse its mistakes. Remember its innovations fondly, if you like, just don’t revisit them. There’s no reason to; no reward for your efforts. Just one final note from Bitmap Brothers saying “By the way? We know you cheated to get this far, and we hate you.”
	Kung Food review (LYNX) Reviewed on January 21, 2011 Kung Food is recommended if your only system is the Atari Lynx.
	Medal of Honor review (PS3) Reviewed on January 14, 2011 Medal of Honor can barely claim to being more than half a game, the half it does right, it excels. The other half isn’t bad for a first attempt -- but that’s not really good enough, is it?
	101-in-1 Sports Party Megamix review (WII) Reviewed on January 11, 2011 I’m simply going to present the facts. Nothing here works. Even with its budget title status, it’s not worth the price of admission.

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