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Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Akane the Kunoichi (Xbox 360)

Akane the Kunoichi review (X360)

Reviewed on July 17, 2011

Akane is light, bite-sized and can be picked up and put down at will; this is appreciated. But that doesn’t mean to say it won’t claw your face off and have you thank it for the maiming by the end.
EmP's avatar
Ms. Splosion Man (Xbox 360)

Ms. Splosion Man review (X360)

Reviewed on July 13, 2011

Whenever I thought a particular ordeal wasn't too tough, it seemed like it wouldn't take long for me to have to face a tougher version of it...likely with some sort of instant-death trap added to the mix in order to provide a bit of extra pressure. I'd need split second timing to outrace a series of propelled spiked walls. Or bounce from one flying car to the next, occasionally 'sploding on a barrel so it could propel me to the next group of vehicles (as opposed to meeting my demise courtesy of one obstacle or another). Or any number of other tasks.
overdrive's avatar
Cloud Master (Sega Master System)

Cloud Master review (SMS)

Reviewed on July 12, 2011

Cloud Master has tepid and disposable written all over it, but its accessibility is its saving grace.
Masters's avatar
The Magic Obelisk (Wii)

The Magic Obelisk review (WII)

Reviewed on July 11, 2011

Faulty cooperative AI is usually where I draw the line. If I can't work with a game without talking down to it, then it's just not worth my time. I learned that when I played Brute Force. Yet, I still wanted to give The Magic Obelisk the benefit of the doubt and try to make it all the way through.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Puzzle Agent 2 (PC)

Puzzle Agent 2 review (PC)

Reviewed on July 09, 2011

Following the closure of his last case, Nelson Tethers is racked with guilt over the string of unsolved disappearances in the eerie, insular community of Scoggins, Minnesota. And so, after taking vacation from his job as an FBI Puzzle Detective, our protagonist fires up his snowmobile and treks back to tie up any loose ends.
Calvin's avatar
Nancy Drew: The Captive Curse (PC)

Nancy Drew: The Captive Curse review (PC)

Reviewed on July 07, 2011

Young gamers, and perhaps those who are new to the point-and-click adventure genre, would find a lot to enjoy here – it is obviously marketed towards these audiences, and the developers succeeded in delivering a great product for them.
EJHart's avatar
The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (PC)

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings review (PC)

Reviewed on July 07, 2011

The Witcher 2 doesn’t stop with waterfalls and ferns, though, or even with prostitutes and foul-mouthed dwarves and snide noblemen. It paints this fantastic world full of complicated people and it lets you interact with all of that in such a way that eventually, like Geralt himself, you are unable to continue as a passive observer. You have a stake in what happens to the people around you, a position in the middle of all of it that you chose for yourself through your prior actions.
honestgamer's avatar
Red Faction: Guerrilla (Xbox 360)

Red Faction: Guerrilla review (X360)

Reviewed on July 06, 2011

You'll kill soldiers with one swing and take down buildings with just a bit of effort. It's hilariously overpowered, crumbling concrete walls like they were made of styrofoam. In third-person over-the-shoulder shooters, it's rare that a melee weapon is this indispensable. You won't mind that the game forces you to hold it at all times, as there's something indubitably MANLY about running up to things and effortlessly destroying them by swinging a mighty hammer of the gods.
overdrive's avatar
Pitfall! (Atari 2600)

Pitfall! review (A2600)

Reviewed on June 30, 2011

Most screens have some combination of hazards for you to contend with: perhaps you'll have to swing across water on a vine while making sure you don't land on a barrel. Or that pond might contain a trio of alligators. You'll have to jump from one head to the next, making sure you're not on their mouth when it opens. Some ponds and quicksand pits are, I guess, magical and will appear and disappear. When they vanish, you can run across the screen safely, but if they return and you're in their part of the screen, you die.
overdrive's avatar
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PlayStation 3)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 28, 2011

For a game that’s designed to promote a movie, Dark of the Moon will probably encourage you to skip it entirely.
disco's avatar
Dodge 'Em (Atari 2600)

Dodge 'Em review (A2600)

Reviewed on June 28, 2011

The cover art was of a stylishly-dressed couple in an old-timey car swerving wildly in that final moment before their agonizing, fiery demise. If you didn't clench the controls intent on going balls to the wall the instant the game started, this would happen to you, but with far more primitive visuals.
overdrive's avatar
F.3.A.R. (PC)

F.3.A.R. review (PC)

Reviewed on June 26, 2011

This means combat becomes an often entertaining game of cat-and-mouse. It’s bad news if you stay behind the same piece of cover for too long, as FEAR 3’s goons are more intelligent than that. They’ll lob in a grenade, or send someone to draw you out from behind. All the while, their defensive strategy is much the same as your own: hide, shoot, move, repeat. When you’re down to the last couple of enemies in a larger area, gunfights can end up drawn out for minutes, as you battle frantically for supremacy over the game’s AI.
Lewis's avatar
Desert Falcon (Atari 7800)

Desert Falcon review (Atari 7800)

Reviewed on June 24, 2011

After playing this game for a few hours, I discovered that my favorite power-up was the one that warped me straight to the boss, so I could kill it and move to the next level in the hopes of finding the proper three glyphs to do it again. You get FAR more points for wasting them than for doing anything else and Desert Falcon is a rather repetitive game, where one level blends into the next with no real difference besides the density of enemy waves and the background color.
overdrive's avatar
Dungeon Siege III (Xbox 360)

Dungeon Siege III review (X360)

Reviewed on June 23, 2011

Despite some subquests and optional grinding, it’s mostly a long winding trip down an inevitable path, and often times back along the inevitable path. Expect to do a lot of walking. This is a hallmark of the Dungeon Siege series, so it should be no surprise that it hasn’t changed. But developer Obsidian has tried to infuse it with a choice-and-consequence system. In theory, this seems like a great idea. But in practice, it’s the difference between an attack rating of 142 and an attack rating of 145. Was it worth reading through all that dialogue?
tomchick's avatar
Bump 'N Jump (Atari 2600)

Bump 'N Jump review (A2600)

Reviewed on June 22, 2011

Maybe a particular body of water is too long to clear in just one jump, so you'll have to time things in order to hit an island in the middle of the lake and immediately jump again to clear the rest of it. Or maybe two small ponds will be close together. If you jump at full speed, you'll easily clear the first one...and then helplessly watch as you said over the strip of land between them, only to crash into the second inches from clearing it.
overdrive's avatar
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS)

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D review (3DS)

Reviewed on June 19, 2011

When I started playing the actual game, though, my perspective changed almost immediately. Link’s prophetic nightmare, the shivering elven boy on the straw mattress, the dying monarch of the forest summoning a fairy and the awkward bump against the fence that looks too much like an open waffle iron all unfolded almost exactly the way I remembered them from previous trips through the game, but I realized with surprise that something unexpected was taking place: I was loving each moment again.
honestgamer's avatar
Duke Nukem Forever (PC)

Duke Nukem Forever review (PC)

Reviewed on June 16, 2011

The inspiration is, of course, the venerable Duke Nukem 3D, a groundbreaking over-the-top comedy shooter that had actual gameplay when it came out 15 years ago. But in Duke Nukem Forever, it's tough to use the word "inspiration". When you come across a nod to the original game, it feels like it was chucked in carelessly. Here's a trip mine. Here's a holoduke. Here's a pigcop. Here's something like a boss fight. Here's a gun that shoots blue lasers. Here's a stripper.
tomchick's avatar
inFAMOUS 2 (PlayStation 3)

inFAMOUS 2 review (PS3)

Reviewed on June 13, 2011

Have you ever had to take a road trip with people you can't stand? Early on, a couple of characters introduce the story and the gameplay progression by giving each other glowing doo-dads. Literally. Here's a glowing doo-dad for you. And here's one for you. That's an indication of the level of coherence and dramatic tension that will drive Infamous 2. And it just goes downhill, with sidekick Zeke as pointless as ever, a toughened Cole now gravelly voice like a Martin Sheen who won't take any guff, and the heavy-handed morality choices based on whether you prefer Nixx, the fiery-tempered black voodoo chick, or Kuo, the mopey Asian CIA agent turned ice mage.
tomchick's avatar
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PlayStation 2)

Castlevania: Lament of Innocence review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 08, 2011

Mr. Exposition gives you the details of the plot, which basically comes down to Walter being a bit bored with eternal life, so for amusement, he kidnaps the loved ones of potential worthy opponents in order to engage in combat with the vengeful fighters. The old man lost his daughter to the vampire, but not his life or humanity. No, he's kept around to serve as a general store, so desperate to avenge his loss that he'll charge an arm and a leg for life-restoring potions and armor. A true humanitarian, this guy.
overdrive's avatar
Great Baseball (Sega Master System)

Great Baseball review (SMS)

Reviewed on June 03, 2011

Didn’t Sega ask itself that most obvious question that begs answering even now? What if the baseball game we make for our beloved Master System isn’t great? What then? Won’t we look like fools? What then? Will we fold? Most likely someone did ask that question, but was promptly fired and replaced by someone else’s son, and the so-so game that is Great Baseball was released anyway.
Masters's avatar

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