Review Archives (Reader Reviews)
You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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TimeSplitters review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Once upon a time a mystical group of people called Rare made a mystical game called Goldeneye and a lot of people liked it, everyone was happy. But one day darkness fell over the land of Rareware, an evil sorceror and his followers ran away to forge their own kingdom, they called it Free Radical. These people have made their very own FPS and it goes by the name of TimeSplitters, one of the most fast-paced frantic shooters to grace any console so far. Although it doesn't have much competition so ... |
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The Sims review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004So there I was, as usual, crouched on my bedroom floor and playing some newfangled video games. All of a sudden, the door opens and this family (my own, presumably) trudge in, a united front. The father figure opens his greasy chops. Apparently some expert over in parliament has done a wee bit of research on my favourite pastime, and it turns out that sitting in ones room for twenty hours of the day can create what they call “anti-social” tendencies. Bollocks to that, thought I, but who was I to... |
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The Getaway review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004If the vibrating function of my dual-shock controller was still alive today (which it isn’t, thanks Sony!) then I’m sure it would quake uncontrollably every time my copy of The Getaway finds its way into my PS2. |
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Tekken Tag Tournament review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Tekken was one of the first PSX games ever released, and the whole Tekken trilogy has become one of the most famous gaming franchises around. It should come as no surprise that one of the PS2 launch games was in fact a Tekken game, a port of the arcade game Tekken Tag Tournament. It keeps the same basic Tekken gameplay, but introduces the ability to tag in a partner along with a whole lot of flashy graphics and an absolute truckload of playable characters. I've seen more original concepts in one... |
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SSX review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Well it appears that the name “Snowboard Supercross” just isn’t cool enough for EA, perhaps it was too long for today’s average gamer to memorise or perhaps it just didn’t sound erotic enough, the important thing is that this little game has been named SSX. It’s only one letter away from America’s favourite spectator sport, but when it comes to pleasure they’re worlds apart. This game was dubbed by many to be the must have game upon the launch of the PlayStation2, but this insignificant reviewer... |
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Red Faction review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Somewhere in our little insignificant solar system there is a planet that goes by the name of Mars. Admittedly being so many light years away from it on Earth I'd always found the planet to be a fairly dull place; however with Red Faction now in my possession and its fiery war a common guest in my living room I have to say that Mars is not so dull, and I'm looking forward to visiting it in the near future (fingers crossed). |
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Quake III: Revolution review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004The fragfest franchise known as Quake has finally forged a way to the fore of Playstation 2 gaming with a frightfully fun first person shooter. This particular Quake game (Quake 3) has proved to be immensely fun in PC land and is wandering down the same path of greatness in this console adaptation. Quake 2 took you on a journey to hell and back pitting you against all kinds of hideous demons, but this title places more of a focus on sport. Quake 3 places you in all kinds of arenas against a numb... |
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Oni review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004One Nice Intro!! |
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Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Thank god for people like Hideo Kojima! There are plenty of game developers out there, most of whom are probably just lounging around their offices, regurgitating each others ideas, and releasing the twelfth sequel to their karting franchise (you know, the one that features cute little characters with big heads). It's the efforts of the Kojimas of the world that make gaming the enjoyable pastime that it is. Often delivering us titles that have moving, involving gameplay and also have a message f... |
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Kessen review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004The cinematic strategy game of Kessen takes us back to a time in Japan that can only be described as feudal. It was a time when brute force could prove enough to claim ultimate leadership of the land of the rising sun, and a time when the manhood of the greatest leaders was decided by the size of their infantry. Kessen has placed a focus on a certain one of these epic battles, a battle touted as one of the greatest of all time. |
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Grand Theft Auto III review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004The setting is Liberty City. The goal? Creating complete and utter terror among its inhabitants. The name of your besieged metropolis alone should strike up images of freedom (freedom and liberty are synonyms you see); stirring mental pictures of a man with no restraints, just doing as he pleases. Grand Theft Auto 3 is indeed a game that offers this to you. By accepting the persona of one of its lowliest residents you’re taking on-board a role that is not just a chance to explore the mysteries o... |
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FIFA Soccer 2002 review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Soccer is a big bloody game, undoubtedly the biggest our world has today. Although some people may argue that the on-field action is comparatively tame when measured against the hustle and bustle of basketball or hockey (or even the actions of its own spectators), there’s no doubting that this is a sport with widespread appeal. |
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Escape From Monkey Island review (PS2)Reviewed on April 25, 2004“Wanted: Swashbuckling adventurer to perform seemingly pointless tasks. Must have experience in handling miscellaneous objects and continuously making light of past exploits. One-liners a necessity. Job may involve undead zombies, voodoo witchcraft, and ducks. Apply within.” |
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Davis Cup Tennis review (TG16)Reviewed on April 25, 2004In a genre primarily dominated by the kerfuffle that is American sports, Tennis has often been grossly overlooked and ignored. The excitement of a good hard game of grid-something-or-other has proven so alluring that classics such as the NES’s “Tennis” and the TG-16’s “Davis Cup Tennis” don’t get the recognition they deserve. If recreated correctly, a game of console Tennis is one of the greatest things in life, and Davis Cup Tennis has a lot of good things going for it. |
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Lion King review (SNES)Reviewed on April 25, 2004I have oft been mistaken for a lion. Who could blame the perpetrators though? It's perfectly understandable! With my flowing mane of golden hair, my animal-like voraciousness and my liking for the subtle tenderness of gazelle meat, I’m more lion than man. These characteristics would normally be enough to convince most people that a game such as The Lion King is right up my alley. For a virile, powerful man-killer like myself this little cartridge should be an absolute pushover! How wrong you all... |
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Rival Turf! review (SNES)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Hi. It's King Broccoli here, and as a king I have all kinds of women at my disposal. To me they're little more than temporary playthings (I'd never dream of using one more than once, how revolting), or decorative pieces that talk and spend too much. This lifestyle of mine offers me a little more copulation than the average man, and that might just explain why I find games like Rival Turf so utterly confusing. |
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Disney's Aladdin review (SNES)Reviewed on April 25, 2004The blue genie lies dormant in his lamp. There is no sound. There is no movement. For decades – god knows how many – he has waited inside his lamp for a new owner, waited for freedom. Luckily for genie, that day has come! |
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Super Mario 64 review (N64)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Ah, to be a plumber! To wake every morning, the sun swimming lazily through a cheery blue sky, and know that somewhere out there is a sticky brown blockage with your name on it! These lucky folks have the privilege of doing a job that the less fortunate of us would gladly do for free, and get paid exorbitant rates for that privilege! To be a plumber! To unclog! To tighten! To show alluring portions of one’s buttocks! |
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Pokemon Snap review (N64)Reviewed on April 25, 2004My first foray into Pokemon Snap was intended as a stepping stone, a mere platform into the more fruitful pastime of photographing naked ladies. The Rasputin-like fellow who was to be my boss assured me as he handed over the sticky cartridge ''There's no better practice than snapping pictures of fuzzy, strange looking little things.'' My, how we laughed. I relished the feeling, for my mission was indeed a serious one, and there could be no laughter. |
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Wall Street Kid review (NES)Reviewed on April 25, 2004Wall Street Kid is an intriguing little NES game that puts you in the shoes of one Mr. Benedict, a blonde haired, 20 something, hot-shot with a dazzling smile. It turns out that this Mr. Benedict had some kind of male relative, who also had the name Mr. Benedict, and an obscenely large collection of money. This relative has unfortunately passed away as the lawyer tells our hero (whos dazzling smile doesn't even flinch at the upsetting news) and he stands to collect $600 Billion dollars, of cours... |
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