Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Pinball review (NES) Reviewed on October 08, 2005 What a stupid, stupid game. It’s pointless, it’s repetitive, it’s old, it’s simple, it’s unrealistic, and it’s short. If I wanted to play pinball, I would play pinball, right? Or I would at least play a game that simulates it well. Why would I want to dig up this old fossil? Stupid, right? Perhaps. I keep telling myself that, but something inside me just doesn’t listen. And I keep playing it. And playing it. I shouldn’t though. It’s not really a good game. Or at least it shouldn’t be. But it is ...
	The Legend of Zelda review (NES) Reviewed on October 08, 2005 This review is not unbiased. This review will not try to claim that a critical look at every factor can tell you exactly how good the game is. Because it doesn't matter. Any minor quibbles or technical limitations are lost in the glorious essence contained within this cartridge. For in this cartridge lies the origins of the only videogame franchise I truly care about. And just as importantly, it contains the heart and soul of this Zelda franchise, far better than any of the other games. It...
	Ninja Spirit review (TG16) Reviewed on October 07, 2005 Herodotus writes that on the eve of battle with the Persian army, the Greek hero Dienekes was told that the Persian archers were so numerous that the mass of arrows, when they launched their volleys, blocked out the sun. Quite undaunted by this prospect, Dienekes responded: "Good. Then we shall have our battle in the shade." The boldness of Dienekes is shared by Moonlight, the hero of Ninja Spirit, though he faces more swords than arrows. His father murdered, Moonlight undertakes a missio...
	Jurassic Park III: Park Builder review (GBA) Reviewed on October 07, 2005 Have you ever had the notion to create Jurassic Park? A place where there's adventure, excitement, and the chance for innocent civilians to be gobbled up by ancient reptiles. Surely, the anticipation of seeing extinct, rarely viewed prehistoric monstrosities coming back to life is of some interest. I'd be willing to pay to watch a Tyrannosaurus stalk its prey and maliciously feast upon their guts like they were Kibbles 'n' Bits. Well with the help of Konami, there's a park management sim for all...
	Chrono Cross review (PSX) Reviewed on October 07, 2005 Chrono Cross is a terrible game.
	Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath review (XBX) Reviewed on October 07, 2005 The Wild West is a staple fantasy setting for youth. Before we graduate to mature things like lasers and starcrusiers with hyperdrives and screens that scroll with technobabble, we entertain ourselves with simpler stories of simpler days. A cowboy is all the long arm the law needs; with his six-shooter and trusty steed, he brings pesky outlaws to justice before riding off into the dusty sunset. Stranger's Wrath provides that but in a world that's....well, odd.
	Viewtiful Joe review (PS2) Reviewed on October 07, 2005 Capcom certainly seems to have a thing for producing cel-shaded games lately; Auto Modellista, Killer 7, and Viewtiful Joe. Being a loyal Capcom fan, I bought them all. The first two are best compared to a cheap thrill ride at a church sponsored carnival. Viewtiful Joe on the other hand, is one of the best action-based platformers I have played in quite some time. Now, before you pro-Joes and anti-Joes start throwing praises or bricks, read that last sentence a little more closely. There are two...
	Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship Tournament 2004 review (GBA) Reviewed on October 07, 2005 Kids today are playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, the hot new collectible card game which simulates battles of dark magic between pagan sorcerers. Or to be more precise, the card game simulates a card game that simulates magical battles. (That probably got unnecessarily confusing, but there’s a Japanese cartoon involved.) Typically, to obtain these cards one would have to go out to the store and purchase numerous and costly booster packs, but Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship Tournament 2004 offers the card game ...
	Enduro Racer review (SMS) Reviewed on October 07, 2005 In this game of endurance, you'll be pitted against all kinds of obstacles that'll push your motorbike skills to its limits. Take for example the temple track; it starts off pretty easy, jumping off of ramps over boiling lava, but it quickly becomes a challenge. You'll enter a long hallway filled with ancient drawings, and booby-traps galore will suddenly pop out from all over: arrows fall from the ceiling, buzz saws slide out from the walls, and spikes pop out from certain tiles of the floor. O...
	DDR Extreme review (PS2) Reviewed on October 06, 2005 Remember the time you were so desperate that you threw whatever leftovers you had into the frying pan and hoped something edible came out? Well, Konami has cooked up DDR Extreme in much the same way, and while starved fanatics will most certainly devour anything DDR, it goes down with a distinctly bitter aftertaste. More than any of its predecessors, DDR Extreme is a half-hashed recipe teeming with more unharmonious flavors than a milk and orange juice burrito with a vinaigrette truffle sauce. T...
	Zone of the Enders: The 2nd Runner review (PS2) Reviewed on October 06, 2005 You’ve just been shot...repeatedly...by the man you hate most in the universe, a bastard named Nohman. Blood’s everywhere. You can’t move, you can’t breathe, you can barely even think, and every thought you have is devoted to wishing Nohman burns in the deepest, darkest, demon-dominated corner of Hell. Right next to where you’ll soon be.
	Fullmetal Alchemist and the Broken Angel review (PS2) Reviewed on October 05, 2005 "Humankind cannot gain anything, without first giving up something in return. To obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth." All Fullmetal Alchemist fans have heard that quote before -- Most can probably even hear Alphonse's voice as they read it. It basically sums up how Alchemy works in the Fullmetal Alchemist manga and anime works. People who have stud...
	The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX review (GBC) Reviewed on October 05, 2005
	Ultimate Spider-Man review (PS2) Reviewed on October 04, 2005 "How come Spidey hasn’t hit puberty yet?"
	Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis review (PC) Reviewed on October 04, 2005 It is with much longing nostalgia that I painfully admit that the golden era of point 'n' click adventures have long passed. I can say without much exaggeration that during the console-starved eighties, the genre reached its peak in popularity, perhaps only eclipsed in the early-to-mid nineties when the fame of Sierra and Lucas Arts were on par to current giants such as Square or Enix. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis is one of the finer specimens of adventure games that was born fr...
	Donkey Kong Jr. review (NES) Reviewed on October 04, 2005 I don’t blame Mario for being pissed. I mean, if a giant ape came up, grabbed my girlfriend and ran away with her under his fat sweaty arm, I’d be pretty cheesed off too. Extracting revenge for this heinous act, Mario has kidnapped Donkey Kong and mysteriously managed to the lock the ape up. He’s also separated Donkey from his only son and when the brave little tyke sets out to rescue is father, Mario tries to kill him by throwing little crocodiles at him. Don’t you think that’s rather harsh?...
	Tekken Tag Tournament review (PS2) Reviewed on October 04, 2005 Before committing themselves to a Tekken 4, Namco has released a tag-team variation of its prominent fighting series befittingly entitled Tekken Tag Tournament (triple T, if you will). The concept is quite simple: roundup every Tekken character, render them in 3D-pixelated heaven, and then pit them against each other in teams of two. For all intentional purposes, this semi-sequel compilation is a “Tekken All-Stars” that follows the crossover trend of Capcom’s prolific and seemingly never-ending ...
	Rumble Roses review (PS2) Reviewed on October 04, 2005 Are you kidding? This is the same company that came up with classics like Contra and Life force? The same “Konami” that is responsible for modern-day goliaths like Metal Gear and Lament of Innocence? What were they thinking? Oh, that’s right. The joke Robin Williams made about only having enough blood for one thing at a time. No, I’m not going to repeat it; True Baby has more class then that.
	The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time review (N64) Reviewed on October 03, 2005 As Nintendo careens toward a purgatorial stasis, a descent fueled by its irrationality as well as its irrelevance, it's impossible to not lament its better days. For the same company who now relies on portable non-games to keep breath in its collapsing lungs once made the greatest game ever released. That game is Zelda: The Ocarina of Time.
	The Punisher review (XBX) Reviewed on October 03, 2005 On a wave of blood and bodies, The Punisher hauls the limp corpse of manly gaming back from the brink. Every knife to the eyeballs, every shotgun blast to the face, every circular saw through a criminal's crotch is another CPR thrust to the chest of the old dream of shooting gameplay. The Punisher is a simple game. The Punisher is a God-send of a refreshing game.

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