Review Archives (Reader Reviews)
You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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WarTech: Senko no Ronde review (X360)Reviewed on August 12, 2007Now, judging by what you've just read above, what genre did you think WarTech was in? Shoot-em-up? Fighting? Well, if you guessed one of the first two, you're right. |
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Banjo Pilot review (GBA)Reviewed on August 12, 2007"Hey, you know, that Banjo game with the bear and the bird did pretty good on the N64." |
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Dizzy the Adventurer review (NES)Reviewed on August 12, 2007Meet Dizzy. Dizzy is an egg. Dizzy comes from Yolkfolk village. Dizzy has an egg girlfriend (hot, I know) named Daisy. On one eggcelent day (I'm sorry, really I am), they discovered a secret entrance to the evil wizard Zak's castle. Little did they know, Zak himself was watching them through his crystal ball! He set a trap for them in the form of a horrible, awful, terrifying, spinning wheel (DUN DUN DUUUN!). It mysteriously spun infinitely due the magic spell placed on it by the wizard. ... |
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Kuri Kinton review (ARC)Reviewed on August 12, 2007He can see it now. It looks like a tiny, rusted shack, but it’s actually the entrance to one of the most extensive underground fortresses in the world. You’d think that criminal masterminds would come up with a less obvious entryway (because we all know that little shacks in the middle of the desert are so commonplace), but none of that matters now. Kuri Kinton zooms forth on his oversized motorcycle, leaps over a rocky embankment, and charges toward his fate. About halfway there, he rele... |
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Bank Panic review (ARC)Reviewed on August 12, 2007I love the old West. You know why? Because everyone just shot everyone else all the time. Okay, so maybe actually being in the time period wouldn't be the best thing, as I'm not a big fan of being shot. Shooting other people though, is a different story. Bank Panic allows me to shoot all the outlaws I want as they pop into the bank and try to grab some cash. I sit down and wait for the action to unfold, then I must shoot at the right time at the right person. I can see three of the twelve... |
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Rule of Rose review (PS2)Reviewed on August 11, 2007"But with big sister dead in a pool of amber blood, who is there to read the letter to? Bah bah." |
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Tetris DX review (GBC)Reviewed on August 10, 2007You know what Tetris is. Yes, you. I'm talking directly to you, reader, the one on the other side of the computer screen. I can say this with certainty because if you're on this website, reading this review right now, the chances of you not having played one of the millions of Tetris spawn are treading on nothing. In the very least, I'm sure you've seen Human Tetris (and if you haven't check it out because it's hilarious). Anyway, bec... |
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Perfect Bowling review (NES)Reviewed on August 10, 2007It's quite a bold statement to say something is perfect. This is obviously because there are few things on this planet that we can say honestly have no flaws. One of these things, of course, would be a fresh roasted s'more. Another might be Maria Sharapova's body. One thing that we can definitely rule out as perfect though, is Perfect Bowling on the NES. The title isn't so much a bold statement as a dirty lie. This game isn't even worth the title Good Bowling or Mediocre Bowling... |
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Tetris DS review (DS)Reviewed on August 09, 2007I've said before that Tetris is one of the few games that will never, EVER get old. I stand by that statement, and no matter how many times countless developers will try to reinvent it to make more money, the basic, primitive game of Tetris is probably all we'll need. |
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Iridion 3D review (GBA)Reviewed on August 08, 2007When Iridion 3D was released as part of the Game Boy Advance launch lineup in 2001, it was almost without question the greatest technical marvel the system had. The jump from GBC to GBA was such a great one that most developers didn’t know how to utilize it, yet this little space shooter, as boring and uninspired as it was, managed to pump out an amazing 3D engine unlike anything I’d ever seen on a handheld. It was the kind of game you’d buy alongside your system with the sole intention o... |
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The Amazing Maze Game review (ARC)Reviewed on August 08, 2007Let me start off by asking a simple question. Do you enjoy stabbing yourself in the eyes with pointy things? If you answered "No" to the above question, there's a great chance that the pain suffered in this game will not appeal to you. If you said "Yes", well then boy have I found a game for you: horrible eye pain, and no sharp objects required! See, the game is a plain, black backdrop with a tiny white maze in front. There is two entrances/exits in the maze: one for you and one for the computer... |
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Barbie Game Girl review (GB)Reviewed on August 08, 2007Firstly a disclaimer is warranted. Barbie Game Girl is not, strictly speaking, a game. See, the word "game" generally brings connotations of something which is fun and which you play, and with Barbie Game Girl you do neither. There is nothing fun about this and the playing experience is non-existent. Instead you sit around bashing the buttons in a desperate bid to get Barbie to JUST FUCKING STEER, with your mood becoming increasingly dark and irritable. Eventually, rainclouds form ... |
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The Muppets: On with the Show! review (GBA)Reviewed on August 08, 2007Dear reader, please allow me a moment of misty-eyed recollection. Let me remember the times I spent as a young child - blonde-haired, blue-eyed, grinning broadly, full of life and hope for a bright future, untainted by the rigours of corporate society as we know it today - watching my favourite programmes on television on a weekend evening. Such happy memories - Dukes of Hazzard, Grandstand with Des Lynam, and my favorite programme of all - The Muppet Show. Those brightly coloured bundles of sla... |
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Gurumin: A Monstrous Adventure review (PSP)Reviewed on August 07, 2007Welcome to Tiese. |
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Dead to Rights review (GBA)Reviewed on August 06, 2007Jack Slate wasn't kidding when he said Grant City was the hardest place on Earth. Every inch you walk in his world, you'll confront criminals and bad dudes that wanna kill you. This being an action game and all, you'd figure that would be a great thing, right? I mean, who doesn't want to bust into an area, guns blazing, killing anyone who dares stand in your way? Well, unfortunately, the developers screwed up this simple formula for an action title, because you won't be having any fun at all in ... |
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Slave Pageant review (PC)Reviewed on August 05, 2007One fateful night, I was working at my usual place of business when a disheveled gentleman hobbled into the spaghetti warehouse. This man was draped in a conspicuous trench coat, as if hiding something on his person. He was sweating bullets from his messy hairdo as if he had been engaged in strenuous activity and exercise for many nights. He hobbled over to me, hands clenching my shoulders as he shook my body and yelled, “You must take this from me!” He then handed me a black jewel case barren e... |
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Doom review (GBA)Reviewed on August 05, 2007It's a future day. As a Marine for Union Aerospace Corporation, or UAC, you're no pushover. You walk with purpose wherever you go, flexing as many muscles as possible. On the job one day, you hear a rumor that the Mars moonbase is having problems. This is somewhat surprising, as ever since its establishment, it had been surprisingly well-kept with few if any issues. As you hear more of the story, you realize that this is serious. Marines and scientists at the base are being slaughtered by hellis... |
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LEGO Racers review (N64)Reviewed on August 04, 2007I've always hated Legos. Perhaps it's my lack of natural building skills, as I've never been into models, Tinker Toys, Jenga, or whatever else there is out there to stack, mold, or design. Figuring that the N64 racing game was just, well, a racing game, I didn't worry that my strong dislike of the toys might come into play. Well, put simply, I was completely wrong. The game involved building and customizing your car and your driver using animated Lego pieces. Alright, so this bugged me. I once a... |
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God of War II review (PS2)Reviewed on August 04, 2007Kratos. He was once a legendary Spartan warrior who fought in many great wars, and he conquered all of them. However, there was one battle he could not win. On the verge of a grisly defeat, he implored for the assistance of the God of War, Ares, to come down and smite his foes. In exchange for the godly intervention, Kratos’ soul now belonged to the vile deity. This set the scene for the events that occurred in the first God of War. |
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Gitaroo Man Lives! review (PSP)Reviewed on August 04, 2007Now that you can shred through your favorite tunes with a plastic guitar controller, the idea of using face buttons and analog sticks to keep the beat must seem antiquated. As the handheld remake of a 2002 PS2 cult classic, Gitaroo Man Lives! hopes you’re in need of such a blast from the past. But this game is about more than learning the rhythm of a few songs. It’s a story of a young man stuck with the strange name of U-1, as he rises from a wimpy doormat to an intergalactic savior. ... |
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