Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by kingbroccoli and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	SSX review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Well it appears that the name “Snowboard Supercross” just isn’t cool enough for EA, perhaps it was too long for today’s average gamer to memorise or perhaps it just didn’t sound erotic enough, the important thing is that this little game has been named SSX. It’s only one letter away from America’s favourite spectator sport, but when it comes to pleasure they’re worlds apart. This game was dubbed by many to be the must have game upon the launch of the PlayStation2, but this insignificant reviewer...	2.5/5
	Red Faction review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Somewhere in our little insignificant solar system there is a planet that goes by the name of Mars. Admittedly being so many light years away from it on Earth I'd always found the planet to be a fairly dull place; however with Red Faction now in my possession and its fiery war a common guest in my living room I have to say that Mars is not so dull, and I'm looking forward to visiting it in the near future (fingers crossed).	4.5/5
	Quake III: Revolution review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 The fragfest franchise known as Quake has finally forged a way to the fore of Playstation 2 gaming with a frightfully fun first person shooter. This particular Quake game (Quake 3) has proved to be immensely fun in PC land and is wandering down the same path of greatness in this console adaptation. Quake 2 took you on a journey to hell and back pitting you against all kinds of hideous demons, but this title places more of a focus on sport. Quake 3 places you in all kinds of arenas against a numb...	3/5
	Oni review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 One Nice Intro!!	3/5
	Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Thank god for people like Hideo Kojima! There are plenty of game developers out there, most of whom are probably just lounging around their offices, regurgitating each others ideas, and releasing the twelfth sequel to their karting franchise (you know, the one that features cute little characters with big heads). It's the efforts of the Kojimas of the world that make gaming the enjoyable pastime that it is. Often delivering us titles that have moving, involving gameplay and also have a message f...	4.5/5
	Kessen review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 The cinematic strategy game of Kessen takes us back to a time in Japan that can only be described as feudal. It was a time when brute force could prove enough to claim ultimate leadership of the land of the rising sun, and a time when the manhood of the greatest leaders was decided by the size of their infantry. Kessen has placed a focus on a certain one of these epic battles, a battle touted as one of the greatest of all time.	3/5
	Grand Theft Auto III review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 The setting is Liberty City. The goal? Creating complete and utter terror among its inhabitants. The name of your besieged metropolis alone should strike up images of freedom (freedom and liberty are synonyms you see); stirring mental pictures of a man with no restraints, just doing as he pleases. Grand Theft Auto 3 is indeed a game that offers this to you. By accepting the persona of one of its lowliest residents you’re taking on-board a role that is not just a chance to explore the mysteries o...	5/5
	FIFA Soccer 2002 review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Soccer is a big bloody game, undoubtedly the biggest our world has today. Although some people may argue that the on-field action is comparatively tame when measured against the hustle and bustle of basketball or hockey (or even the actions of its own spectators), there’s no doubting that this is a sport with widespread appeal.	3/5
	Escape From Monkey Island review (PS2) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 “Wanted: Swashbuckling adventurer to perform seemingly pointless tasks. Must have experience in handling miscellaneous objects and continuously making light of past exploits. One-liners a necessity. Job may involve undead zombies, voodoo witchcraft, and ducks. Apply within.”	4/5
	Davis Cup Tennis review (TG16) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 In a genre primarily dominated by the kerfuffle that is American sports, Tennis has often been grossly overlooked and ignored. The excitement of a good hard game of grid-something-or-other has proven so alluring that classics such as the NES’s “Tennis” and the TG-16’s “Davis Cup Tennis” don’t get the recognition they deserve. If recreated correctly, a game of console Tennis is one of the greatest things in life, and Davis Cup Tennis has a lot of good things going for it.	4.5/5
	Lion King review (SNES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 I have oft been mistaken for a lion. Who could blame the perpetrators though? It's perfectly understandable! With my flowing mane of golden hair, my animal-like voraciousness and my liking for the subtle tenderness of gazelle meat, I’m more lion than man. These characteristics would normally be enough to convince most people that a game such as The Lion King is right up my alley. For a virile, powerful man-killer like myself this little cartridge should be an absolute pushover! How wrong you all...	4/5
	Rival Turf! review (SNES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Hi. It's King Broccoli here, and as a king I have all kinds of women at my disposal. To me they're little more than temporary playthings (I'd never dream of using one more than once, how revolting), or decorative pieces that talk and spend too much. This lifestyle of mine offers me a little more copulation than the average man, and that might just explain why I find games like Rival Turf so utterly confusing.	1/5
	Disney's Aladdin review (SNES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 The blue genie lies dormant in his lamp. There is no sound. There is no movement. For decades – god knows how many – he has waited inside his lamp for a new owner, waited for freedom. Luckily for genie, that day has come!	1.5/5
	Super Mario 64 review (N64) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Ah, to be a plumber! To wake every morning, the sun swimming lazily through a cheery blue sky, and know that somewhere out there is a sticky brown blockage with your name on it! These lucky folks have the privilege of doing a job that the less fortunate of us would gladly do for free, and get paid exorbitant rates for that privilege! To be a plumber! To unclog! To tighten! To show alluring portions of one’s buttocks!	5/5
	Pokemon Snap review (N64) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 My first foray into Pokemon Snap was intended as a stepping stone, a mere platform into the more fruitful pastime of photographing naked ladies. The Rasputin-like fellow who was to be my boss assured me as he handed over the sticky cartridge ''There's no better practice than snapping pictures of fuzzy, strange looking little things.'' My, how we laughed. I relished the feeling, for my mission was indeed a serious one, and there could be no laughter.	4/5
	Wall Street Kid review (NES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Wall Street Kid is an intriguing little NES game that puts you in the shoes of one Mr. Benedict, a blonde haired, 20 something, hot-shot with a dazzling smile. It turns out that this Mr. Benedict had some kind of male relative, who also had the name Mr. Benedict, and an obscenely large collection of money. This relative has unfortunately passed away as the lawyer tells our hero (whos dazzling smile doesn't even flinch at the upsetting news) and he stands to collect $600 Billion dollars, of cours...	3.5/5
	Totally Rad review (NES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Totally Rad is a ''gnarly'' little platformer that has quite a few RPGish options much in the style of Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night. It put you in the role of Jake, an up and coming magician who must face off against mysterious enemies who kidnap his girlfriend and her parents. With a few tips from your local magic man you must discover the power deep inside you and SAVE THE DAY! Sounds corny? Well it is....	1.5/5
	Tetris review (NES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Playing Tetris for the first time can change a gamers life forever. Squaring off against those blocks is one of the magic moments of gaming. Play the game for half an hour and you can be hooked for life. The addictiveness that Tetris contains is almost scary, it's like a drug that you just can't get enough of. Turn this game off and you'll have falling blocks imprinted onto your eyelids, once it's taken a hold of your mind it'll never let go. Tetris is one of the greatest games of all time, if n...	5/5
	Super Mario Bros. 3 review (NES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 First up there was the absolute classic Super Mario Bros., it was a game that delighted NES owners here and NES owners there, it delighted pretty much everyone! The next game to pop out of course was Super Mario Bros. 2! It strayed off the path from everything normal and sane, giving the gamer a far more abstract look at all things Mario, despite all the quirkiness it was still a lot of fun. It would have been pretty silly to have just stopped there, so naturally Super Mario. Bros. 3 got a relea...	5/5
	Snake Rattle 'N Roll review (NES) Reviewed on April 25, 2004 Snake Rattle 'n Roll is a fun little NES game that will leave most of you scratching your heads after playing it, this isn't because the game will give you head lice, it's because it's such a strange little game you'll question the sanity of those that developed it. You take the roll of a snake, actually it's just the head of a snake, and you must build up its tail, make it really heavy and then get out of the level you're in. There might be a story attached to this, but if there is I just don't...	3/5

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