Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 Fortunately, there are plenty of reasons to keep trying, even when you find yourself dying more than you might like. For one, the levels themselves are quite pretty. Sure, they don’t boast a lot of polygons or even colors, but the artists rendered them in a quaint style that can cheer you as you travel through them. Dense jungles somehow seem cheerful thanks to vibrant colors. An undersea level oozes charm, as does a distant island resort you’ll visit late in the game.	3/5
	Paperboy review (NES) Reviewed on January 24, 2005 Of course, there are threats to your little newspaper empire. That cute little dog you see cowering in his home on the front lawn may very well bite you in the butt if you don’t toss a paper at just the right moment. And there are rumors that the Grim Reaper himself frequents the neighborhood from time to time. Add runaway lawnmowers, tires, go carts and disillusioned customers of times past and you have the formula for a rather dangerous job.	3.5/5
	Captain Skyhawk review (NES) Reviewed on January 24, 2005 To play the game well, you’ll have to adapt to the rapidly-changing environment. Glide left past one hill, then quickly rebound to the right as an imposing rock wall threatens to turn your aircraft into a charred stain. The whole time, you’ll have to keep an eye on the surface. Alien vehicles fire shots from the ground, star-shaped projectiles that will cause you to burst into flames if you should happen to collide with them.	4.5/5
	Mega Man X8 review (PS2) Reviewed on January 22, 2005 You see, not every stage takes place with you watching from the sidelines. Sometimes, you’ll get an over-the-shoulder perspective. However, this is perfectly acceptable for two reasons. Firstly, only two areas make this deviation. And secondly, those stages are actually quite enjoyable!	4/5
	Time Lord review (NES) Reviewed on January 17, 2005 Suppose that you play through the Castle Marman level one time. You find one orb after picking mushrooms, one hanging on a tower high above a wide space, and a flying monkey (dragon?) drops another. Then there’s the one you randomly find when you jump down a set of stone columns. The last thing you really want to do the next time you play through is guess the location of that fourth orb. It’s just… not fun.	1.5/5
	Dragon Warrior review (NES) Reviewed on January 08, 2005 Step outside the castle and you might make it fifteen or twenty steps. Or you might make it one step. Or two, or three. Suddenly, that village a half-screen away can seem almost out of reach. This is compounded by another problem: the hero is a wimp for the majority of the game.	1.5/5
	Tetrisphere review (N64) Reviewed on January 01, 2005 Picture a spinning orb floating in space. It’s comprised of a bunch of tetrad blocks, meshed together flawlessly to form a prison of sorts. Inside this fragile abode, a robot anxiously darts about like a firefly caught in a bottle, trying to escape. Your job in Tetrisphere is to make it possible for your imprisoned friend to do so.	4/5
	Wild Arms 3 review (PS2) Reviewed on December 16, 2004 You see, the world of Filgaia is the sort where skeletons lay bleached under relentless sunlight and like it because at least the demons are distracted by human flesh. Your human flesh to be specific, unless you pay attention.	4.5/5
	Mario Party 6 review (GCN) Reviewed on December 15, 2004 What’s important to note here is that the microphone accomplishes nothing a standard controller doesn’t. It would be just as simple to press a button corresponding to the fruit type, after all. And in some cases, it would work more smoothly. To continue with the example I gave above, suppose the player with the microphone wants to cheat.	4/5
	Wizards & Warriors 3 review (NES) Reviewed on November 30, 2004 The problem comes from the nature of your terrible hops. Kuros can change direction in air, but I found myself gritting my teeth every time I left the ground, hoping he would do as I told him. He’s quite slow to respond. And since you have to make some rather long, precise jumps throughout your adventure, this is a pretty big problem. If you make an especially long jump and don’t release the ‘A’ button just before you land, you’ll even launch immediately into another (perhaps fatal) hop.	1.5/5
	Castle Shikigami 2 review (PS2) Reviewed on November 24, 2004 It takes only a few seconds to power up, and then you can release much greater devastation. Some enemies won’t even fall unless you know how to take advantage of the technique. Best of all, you get point multipliers through constructive use of your magical arsenal. There’s little more satisfying than nearly ramming a machine just as it bursts into flames, then noticing the ‘x8’ multiplier flashing on the screen.	3/5
	Feel the Magic: XY/XX review (DS) Reviewed on November 21, 2004 The thing is, you're just rubbing the screen with your stylus to push up said fish. Do well enough and you're onto the next area. A few mini-games later, you're back to rubbing the screen with your stylus. Presentation has changed, but your encouraged activity has not. Whether you're moving tacks to the side or pushing goldfish out of a man's throat or even digging through sand to find a purse's lost content, it does get old.	3/5
	Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne review (PS2) Reviewed on November 17, 2004 A once-verdant landscape is no more than a barren desert. And thus the scene is set. The plot twists its way through more than 80 hours of gameplay from that point, never overbearing but always gnawing at your consciousness from behind the scenes. As interesting as the sequence of events that gradually unfolds is, though, this game isn’t about plot. It’s about old-school, ‘punch you in the face and laugh when you cry’ role-playing.	5/5
	Metal Slug 3 review (XBX) Reviewed on October 28, 2004 Press toward the right, mashing the button furiously as livid crustaceans emerge from ramshackle shanties. If they get too close, swipe your knife across them and return to your main quest: survival. Buildings explode into flame and melt away as if they never existed. Prisoners of war thank you heartily as you cut loose their ropes on the way to shoot a bubble-blowing goon ahead. But wait, there’s a weapon pick-up!	4/5
	Tony Hawk's Underground 2 review (GCN) Reviewed on October 13, 2004 From there, the game forces you to watch inane cinemas between events. The scenes here are downright childish. At the best of moments, they might make you smile. But they’re poking fun at just about everyone not in the game, and their juvenile nature is more often irritating than it is amusing. That, or they’re ripped from every comedy movie you’ve ever seen and are no longer amusing as a result. No matter how you’ve performed, the plot is scripted and tries to paint you as the underdog.	4/5
	Attack of the Killer Tomatoes review (NES) Reviewed on October 08, 2004 Considering its length, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes packs a surprising number of mind benders into the mix. There are the organ-playing Ketchuk, the maze-like corridors that immediately precede him, the reversed gravity in the third stage, and other threats too horrifying to describe. It feels like half the areas you experience have some little quirk to them.	3/5
	Katamari Damacy review (PS2) Reviewed on October 06, 2004 The idea of rolling a ball around a level has been done before, and better. But I don’t recall a single time where I’ve rolled around a stage, constantly growing larger until the stage I thought I knew took on a whole new form without ever truly changing. It sounds like the dream game, and it almost was. With so much quirkiness and innovation, Katamari Damacy seemed destined to be a sleeper hit for Namco.	3.5/5
	Burnout 3: Takedown review (XBX) Reviewed on October 01, 2004 The minute you’re free to go, all the cars start bashing into each other while moving down the road. Some guy comes from your left and swings you right so that your acceleration takes you straight toward a rail. You weave wildly and watch with satisfaction as your car t-bones your aggressor, then sends him skyward as you pass underneath. “Takedown,” the screen flashes, and suddenly you know where the game got its name.	4.5/5
	The Guy Game review (XBX) Reviewed on September 20, 2004 As you properly guess whether or not the girls are smart enough to answer (more on that in a minute), your meter will fill up. If it hits the middle region, you will see no logo, but things are still blurred out. And if you top out with ‘Super Stiff,’ then you get to see nipples galore. This element of the game helps remind you that what you’re playing is really an interactive peep show. It does wonders for the self-esteem.	1.5/5
	SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle For Bikini Bottom review (GCN) Reviewed on September 19, 2004 Before you get to the 'cool' stuff in the game, which ranges from new zones to explore to abilities that include bubble bowling, you'll have to collect a good number of spatulas and socks. The latter tend to be hidden quite deviously throughout the numerous worlds you'll explore, while the spatulas themselves are out in plain sight in the same sense that the stars were in Super Mario 64. There are lots of them to collect, and it can get old quickly, but this is a minor genre flaw because the worlds SpongeBob explores are so engaging.	4/5

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