Reviews by goldenvortex, page 4

Reader NES

Donkey Kong review

Frankly, I was dissatisfied when I first played Donkey Kong. In five minutes, I had cleared three levels and had made the horrific discovery that the game had reached its limit. Yes, Donkey Kong may be Nintendo’s true shiner when it comes…

goldenvortex · July 6, 2005

Reader NES

Dig Dug review

How would you feel if your lovely garden was wasted by a bunch of alien bastards? Yeah, you would go into your shed, pick up your favourite bicycle pump and forcefully evict the little cretins from your backyard paradise. That’s precisely…

goldenvortex · July 2, 2005

Reader Genesis

Barney's Hide and Seek review

Don’t look at me like that. Yes, I actually did sit down and finish this game. God knows why, anyone who wanted to review this lousy piece of trash would probably play the game for five minutes and have thought about everything that they…

goldenvortex · June 24, 2005

Reader Xbox

Shenmue II review

Young Ryo Hazuki’s life was smashed by the sudden arrival of an uninvited guest. Dressed in dark green Chinese clothes, the mysterious Lan Di waltzed into Ryo’s family home and used a strange martial art to murder his father. Proving to be…

goldenvortex · June 23, 2005

Reader GameCube

Animal Crossing review

Animal Crossing was in my Christmas stocking last year. I had begged my mother to purchase it for me even though she was pretty damn reluctant. “David, this game looks like it’s for kids!” she moaned at me but I didn’t care. From what I’d…

goldenvortex · May 31, 2005

Reader Xbox

The Punisher review

The last time Frank Castle was in the video game limelight was in 1993; he and Nick Fury beat the crap out of countless thugs and finally brought down Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin. It was one of Capcom’s finest work and an easy arcade classic…

goldenvortex · May 26, 2005

Reader GameCube

Dragon Ball Z Budokai 2 review

Dragonball Z: Budokai was a major disappointment; only the most hardcore of hardcore Dragonball Z fans could look at it and say: “Boy that sure was fun!” It pushed forward some innovative ideas about how a 3-D Dragonball game should be…

goldenvortex · May 14, 2005

Reader SNES

Mario to Wario review

Wario is an evil bastard. When he’s not out robbing peoples treasure to add to his stockpile, he’s blinding people by dropping buckets over their heads. Well, that is what he is deciding to do this time around. He’s decided to stop his…

goldenvortex · May 11, 2005

Reader SNES

Mario to Wario review

Princess Toadstool and Yoshi. With his new bi-plane, he decides to cause some mischief by dropping numerous objects on their heads and putting them on an obstacle course packed with tricks and traps. Blinded by this newly fixated object…

goldenvortex · May 10, 2005

Reader SNES

Donkey Kong Country review

Donkey Kong was a horny gorilla that shot to fame in the mid-eighties in his rusty arcade classic. It introduced us to the big ape, who had kidnapped Mario’s girlfriend, Pauline. Back in 1981, it was the hottest game in town. It was the…

goldenvortex · May 7, 2005

Reader PC

Lemmings review

Lemmings aren’t stupid. They don’t really commit mass suicides and jump off cliffs into the merciless sea. In fact, the poor souls usually bite off more than they can chew by swimming across water that is excessively deep for them. They…

goldenvortex · May 2, 2005

Reader Game Gear HG exclusive

Shinobi review

GG Shinobi is not a down sized conversion of the original arcade game. Nor is it a shrunken down version of the Mega Drive’s The Revenge of Shinobi. It’s a completely different kettle of fish from any Shinobi game featuring a collection of…

goldenvortex · April 29, 2005

Reader PC

The Lost Vikings review

The Lost Vikings is bursting at the seams; not just because of the intensely challenging puzzles, the sheer mass of levels but because of the creative and innovative style that it brought forward. Its genre is a well crafted blend of a…

goldenvortex · April 24, 2005

Reader GameCube

Viewtiful Joe review

Viewtiful Joe failed to live up to its hype. I read a ton of magazine reviews on the game and I found scores of 90% and over. I checked GameFAQS (hardly the most trustworthy of places to go to for review scores) and found that amongst the…

goldenvortex · April 17, 2005

Reader Arcade

Kuri Kinton review

Kuri Kinton is a rather dull arcade platform game that’s best left alone. Age has stripped anything that hinted at being “fun” and the amount of rip offs from Dragon Ball are pretty unforgivable. Taito not only crafted a character that…

goldenvortex · April 14, 2005

Reader GameCube

Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes review

Konami took two key ingredients to create a masterpiece. The classic Metal Gear Solid was easily the best game on the Playstation and it’s popularity was so immense that Konami decided to re-release the classic on new 128-bit software. The…

goldenvortex · April 13, 2005

Reader NES

Super Mario Bros. 3 review

Super Mario Bros 3 reverts back to the classic Mario formula, unlike the SMB2 disappointment. Instead of riding on the heads of enemies and picking vegetables, gamers were rewarded with a block busting, fire throwing and flying (that’s a…

goldenvortex · April 9, 2005

Reader NES

Super Mario Bros. review

Super Mario Bros laid the path for platform genre; you could play any platform game that was released after it and pick out the features that SMB defined. The collecting of one hundred objects to gain an extra life, jumping on the heads of…

goldenvortex · April 8, 2005

Reader NES

Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti review

If you took Splatterhouse, removed the excessive gore, the array of disgusting monsters and the nice selection of pain spreading weaponry, you’d be left with something like Wanpaku Graffiti. Instead of following the usual plan, WG is a…

goldenvortex · April 2, 2005

Reader Genesis

Chiki Chiki Boys review

Capcom were the masterminds behind the lost sword slashing and magic casting classic, Chiki Chiki Boys. Taking RPG elements from Sega's Wonder Boy in Monster World, they mixed these aspects with a hint of arcade action to create this…

goldenvortex · March 30, 2005