Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by goldenvortex and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Donkey Kong review (NES) Reviewed on July 06, 2005 Frankly, I was dissatisfied when I first played Donkey Kong. In five minutes, I had cleared three levels and had made the horrific discovery that the game had reached its limit. Yes, Donkey Kong may be Nintendo’s true shiner when it comes to its long list of overrated NES “classics.” It was very disappointing but not as disappointing as this piece of information: They’ve repackaged this grossly overrated title and are charging it for four times its worth in their “NES Classics” range on the GB...	1.5/5
	Dig Dug review (NES) Reviewed on July 02, 2005 How would you feel if your lovely garden was wasted by a bunch of alien bastards? Yeah, you would go into your shed, pick up your favourite bicycle pump and forcefully evict the little cretins from your backyard paradise. That’s precisely what has happened to Dig Dug, the misplaced spaceman (He really does look like an astronaut!). Without a thought for his personal safety, he goes down on a digging expedition to pump these invaders bodies full of air and clean his garden from these alien scum...	1.5/5
	Barney's Hide and Seek review (GEN) Reviewed on June 24, 2005 Don’t look at me like that.	0.5/5
	Shenmue II review (XBX) Reviewed on June 23, 2005 Young Ryo Hazuki’s life was smashed by the sudden arrival of an uninvited guest. Dressed in dark green Chinese clothes, the mysterious Lan Di waltzed into Ryo’s family home and used a strange martial art to murder his father. Proving to be no match for this man, Ryo was utterly wasted in one strike and watched in agony as the mysterious man walked away with an odd trinket, the Dragon Mirror. Something that Ryo’s father had wanted to hide from the cold and dark ambitions of Lan Di. After watch...	4.5/5
	Animal Crossing review (GCN) Reviewed on May 31, 2005 Animal Crossing was in my Christmas stocking last year. I had begged my mother to purchase it for me even though she was pretty damn reluctant. “David, this game looks like it’s for kids!” she moaned at me but I didn’t care. From what I’d heard, Animal Crossing was one of the most innovative and enjoyable titles for the Gamecube and I needed a new title to get me back into it. After being disappointed by Nintendo’s old school rebirths like Super Mario and Metroid Prime, I needed a fresh per...	2/5
	The Punisher review (XBX) Reviewed on May 26, 2005 The last time Frank Castle was in the video game limelight was in 1993; he and Nick Fury beat the crap out of countless thugs and finally brought down Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin. It was one of Capcom’s finest work and an easy arcade classic that captured the gritty world of the Punisher well, without having to resort to over the top violence.	3.5/5
	Dragon Ball Z Budokai 2 review (GCN) Reviewed on May 14, 2005 Dragonball Z: Budokai was a major disappointment; only the most hardcore of hardcore Dragonball Z fans could look at it and say: “Boy that sure was fun!” It pushed forward some innovative ideas about how a 3-D Dragonball game should be played but it ruined it by dropping these glass ideas on jagged rocks. However, we can now put those troubles behind us and play Budokai 2, a game that fixed all of the originals problems with a few swift strokes. The fighting was more interactive, the story mo...	3.5/5
	Mario to Wario review (SNES) Reviewed on May 11, 2005 Wario is an evil bastard. When he’s not out robbing peoples treasure to add to his stockpile, he’s blinding people by dropping buckets over their heads. Well, that is what he is deciding to do this time around. He’s decided to stop his constant treasure hoarding and started out on a mission to annoy Mario, Princess Toadstool and Yoshi. With his new bi-plane, he decides to cause some mischief by dropping numerous objects on their heads and putting them on an obstacle course packed with tricks a...	1.5/5
	Mario to Wario review (SNES) Reviewed on May 10, 2005 Princess Toadstool and Yoshi. With his new bi-plane, he decides to cause some mischief by dropping numerous objects on their heads and putting them on an obstacle course packed with tricks and traps. Blinded by this newly fixated object, our heroes rely on a fairy (who looks like a pink Link) to guide them through a variety of dangers that they encounter.	1.5/5
	Donkey Kong Country review (SNES) Reviewed on May 07, 2005 Donkey Kong was a horny gorilla that shot to fame in the mid-eighties in his rusty arcade classic. It introduced us to the big ape, who had kidnapped Mario’s girlfriend, Pauline. Back in 1981, it was the hottest game in town. It was the title that refined arcade gaming and was so popular that Nintendo created two sequels, which did not get the fame they sought, mainly because they were both rather average titles. After this, Nintendo shut the lid on the primate and for eleven years and the gr...	4/5
	Lemmings review (PC) Reviewed on May 02, 2005 Lemmings aren’t stupid. They don’t really commit mass suicides and jump off cliffs into the merciless sea. In fact, the poor souls usually bite off more than they can chew by swimming across water that is excessively deep for them. They migrate in large groups and march into the water, hoping to migrate to a new and better home. Unfortunately, all they get is death. Although, this is commonly seen as suicide it is actually just plain stupidity. Thanks goodness that Psygnosis and DMA decided ...	4.5/5
	Shinobi review (GG) Reviewed on April 29, 2005 GG Shinobi is not a down sized conversion of the original arcade game. Nor is it a shrunken down version of the Mega Drive’s The Revenge of Shinobi. It’s a completely different kettle of fish from any Shinobi game featuring a collection of five (yes, five) versions of the legendary Joe Mushashi. Each of these clones has their own special abilities and different magic capability. With just one, they may seem weak but together they can break down any obstacle, walk on water and even defy t...	3.5/5
	The Lost Vikings review (PC) Reviewed on April 24, 2005 The Lost Vikings is bursting at the seams; not just because of the intensely challenging puzzles, the sheer mass of levels but because of the creative and innovative style that it brought forward. Its genre is a well crafted blend of a puzzle game and a platform title, although it tends to push to more puzzles than platforming aspects. Whatever you want to call it, The Lost Vikings is an innovative, challenging and humorous game to play.	4.5/5
	Viewtiful Joe review (GCN) Reviewed on April 17, 2005 Viewtiful Joe failed to live up to its hype. I read a ton of magazine reviews on the game and I found scores of 90% and over. I checked GameFAQS (hardly the most trustworthy of places to go to for review scores) and found that amongst the fan boy trash lay reviews from quality authors giving it the thumbs up. The cover of the box had a sticker saying 93% on it, it must be something special. Unfortunately, Viewtiful Joe is nothing more than a problematic, repetitive and boring game that fills...	2/5
	Kuri Kinton review (ARC) Reviewed on April 14, 2005 Kuri Kinton is a rather dull arcade platform game that’s best left alone. Age has stripped anything that hinted at being “fun” and the amount of rip offs from Dragon Ball are pretty unforgivable. Taito not only crafted a character that looked remarkably like Yamcha, about a close a rip-off as you can get without being sued. It throws this clone into a boring, repetitive and difficult platform game that has been left to rot in the arcade outcast pit with Oh My God! and Athena.	1/5
	Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes review (GCN) Reviewed on April 13, 2005 Konami took two key ingredients to create a masterpiece. The classic Metal Gear Solid was easily the best game on the Playstation and it’s popularity was so immense that Konami decided to re-release the classic on new 128-bit software. The second part of the mix was the style and new methods introduced in Metal Gear Solid’s sequel, the sub-standard Sons of Liberty. This one was loaded with new control mechanisms and new features which enhanced the gameplay a lot. It also had breathtaking graphic...	4.5/5
	Super Mario Bros. 3 review (NES) Reviewed on April 09, 2005 Super Mario Bros 3 reverts back to the classic Mario formula, unlike the SMB2 disappointment. Instead of riding on the heads of enemies and picking vegetables, gamers were rewarded with a block busting, fire throwing and flying (that’s a new power) Mario. It took the basic style that SMB’s produced and worked on that, adding a new level selection, new power ups and a brand new mission for our podgy plumber.	5/5
	Super Mario Bros. review (NES) Reviewed on April 08, 2005 Super Mario Bros laid the path for platform genre; you could play any platform game that was released after it and pick out the features that SMB defined. The collecting of one hundred objects to gain an extra life, jumping on the heads of enemies and powering your character up were all taken from this NES classic. It wasn’t Mario’s first appearance in the gaming world. He had hit fame with two other arcade oldies known as Donkey Kong and Mario Bros. It was only at the release of Super Mario ...	4.5/5
	Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti review (NES) Reviewed on April 02, 2005 If you took Splatterhouse, removed the excessive gore, the array of disgusting monsters and the nice selection of pain spreading weaponry, you’d be left with something like Wanpaku Graffiti. Instead of following the usual plan, WG is a colourful and happy platformer which seems to parody many old horror flicks and the actual Splatterhouse series. It may sound a little bizarre but WP is actually a worthy addition to the series, surpassing Splatterhouse 2 in almost all aspects.	4/5
	Chiki Chiki Boys review (GEN) Reviewed on March 30, 2005 Capcom were the masterminds behind the lost sword slashing and magic casting classic, Chiki Chiki Boys. Taking RPG elements from Sega's Wonder Boy in Monster World, they mixed these aspects with a hint of arcade action to create this title. Unfortunately, the effort fell on deaf ears and remains today a little-known Capcom game, one that should have received a truckload of love but instead was thrown into the deep, dark pit of obscurity amongst other forgotten treasures.	4.5/5

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