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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by bloomer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Altered Beast (Sega Master System)

Altered Beast review (SMS)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

Altered Beast in all its forms has always worried at my psyche. It's a game for which I have strong pangs of contrary feeling. I say to myself 'I admire this game! It's very nasty and I like it!' But whenever I play it again, I'm never really sure if I do. It's resolutely novel and resolutely weird, with awesome nightmarish monsters and crazy flourishes. It's an important game in console history and in Sega history. It's the game which shipped with the Megadrive and was many a console-hea...
Ace of Spades (PC)

Ace of Spades review (PC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

There's a casino-bar where all the big movers like Mr Sidewalker go, where the playboys about town don't have to bet money (or anything apparently) and where half the staff seem to be enslaved by the other half. Playboys who win at blackjack and poker are fed the slave staff for nasty bondage sex, and then can play their way through to having the dealers and hostesses as well. This is the big bright cheery world of Ace of Spades (AOS), a hentai game of no repute alternating simple, rapidf...
NAM-1975 (NeoGeo)

NAM-1975 review (NEO)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

The Deer Hunter
Magician Lord (NeoGeo)

Magician Lord review (NEO)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

''What imprudence, you human being! Face your trial by god!''
Voyeur (Mac)

Voyeur review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

Preface -- Just like the game it describes, this review is recommended for Mature Audiences only (15+). Both game and review are unsuitable for younger gamers, and will bore and confuse younger gamers, so if that's you I'm just trying to save you some time here!
Marathon (Mac)

Marathon review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

The Oath of the Vidmaster
Factory (Mac)

Factory review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

Assembly lines are a necessary and largely invisible evil of our time. Ever since the industrial revolution, people have had to reluctantly man those unforgiving conveyer belts to perform such repetitive tasks as assembling greaseburgers, children's dolls, discount televisions or even toilet bowls. As work, it strikes most of us as a faceless, endless, utterly thankless job; mind-numbing and possibly even soul-destroying in its monotony. The last time you tore open the box containing the latest ...
Diablo (Mac)

Diablo review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

The Diablo phenomenon had already flowered profusely amongst PC gamers by the time the game found its way to the Macintosh realm in 1998. The Mac demo version of the game was only shipping on the cover CDs of computer magazines halfway through that year - a hefty lag for one of the most popular and contagious games of the late nineties, but this was the state of Macintosh gaming at the time. Whilst some startling Mac-born games such as Bungie's Marathon continued to hold the fort during t...
Burn: Cycle (Mac)

Burn: Cycle review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

Burn:Cycle is an early generation (1994) 'interactive movie' style sci-fi adventure, hot off the CD-I to your Mac or PC. While it's very ambitious and succeeds on many levels, enough to be memorable, it does suffer from the typical problem of this genre: too-low interactivity. Yet the overall story experience is dazzling enough that you won't really notice.
Astro Chase 3D (Mac)

Astro Chase 3D review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

Astro Chase 3D is a GREAT little space action game. I had to get that off my chest immediately because my first impressions of this game were terrifyingly off the mark.
Alone in the Dark 2 (Mac)

Alone in the Dark 2 review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

Alone in the dark, Alone in the twilight, Alone in the floodlights... Stuff the lighting, it's all the same to me so long as I'm not alone with this game.
Alone in the Dark (Mac)

Alone in the Dark review (MAC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

I'm in a mansion surrounded by killer statues, twangy polygonal dogs and inscrutable instant-kill figures who sit in armchairs. There's a note stuck behind the piano if I'd only remember to look there, but that's no great comfort when even the paintings can kill me, everything in sight is cursed or boobytrapped, and the gaping maw of hell is in fact down in the basement.
The Scorpion King: Rise of the Akkadian (GameCube)

The Scorpion King: Rise of the Akkadian review (GCN)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

'I stand alone!' roar Godsmack in the head-banging title song from the film and the game of The Scorpion King (SK).
Lost Kingdoms (GameCube)

Lost Kingdoms review (GCN)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

From the Nintendo-Pokemon school of Collection Mania springs Lost Kingdoms, (LK) the Gamecube's sparkly debut RPG set in a world of fairies, runestones and collectible enchanted cards. High on fighting and the loving management and evolution of your army of creatures, low on plot and extraneous detail, LK can entirely consume the player in the short term as time away from the game is spent fantasising about turning your dragonoid cards into black dragons, or your blood bushes into vampire...
Dark Summit (GameCube)

Dark Summit review (GCN)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

There's no way in hell that real-life snowboarders could be anywhere near as cool, as great, as generous or just as plain wonderful as Naya, the heroine of THQ's Dark Summit (DS). Come to think of it, nobody in the world could be as great as Naya, and I think somebody's got to stop her. Somebody's got to stop her before she wins the Nobel Peace Prize and becomes ruler of the planet or something, because people this fantastic just don't exist. She's a foxy, upbeat, giving, positive, enviro...
Uridium (Commodore 64)

Uridium review (C64)

Reviewed on February 06, 2004

Uridium /juridiem/. n. 1. Fictional metallic element.
Trojan (Arcade)

Trojan review (ARC)

Reviewed on February 05, 2004

Trojan is a side-scrolling hack-em-up game from Capcom which I played in the flesh just ONCE in a milk bar during pre-teenhood, circa 1986. I have incredibly vivid memories of that lone encounter, and the tale of my first reunion with the game via emulation some dozen years later is right up there with all of those sweeping sagas of reunited long-lost wartorn twins!
Krull (Arcade)

Krull review (ARC)

Reviewed on February 05, 2004

Zorro (Apple II)

Zorro review (APP2)

Reviewed on February 05, 2004

Thinking of Zorro for the Apple II tends to make me think of The Goonies for the Apple II. Then my third thought in the chain is usually, 'I'd rather be playing Bruce Lee.' Rick Mirsky programmed all three of these platformers in a similar style, and where Bruce Lee is tight, timeless and fun - a classic - The Goonies and Zorro are more similar to each other, sharing weird floaty game physics, episodes of unnecessary cruelty and high annoyance factors. Zorro looks and feels ...
Strange Odyssey (Apple II)

Strange Odyssey review (APP2)

Reviewed on February 05, 2004


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