Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Gals Panic review (ARC) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 Teenage guys are teeming with hormonal energy and are eager to experiment, but their female counterparts, overcome with hormones as well, just do not share guys' desire for quick-and-dirty sexual discovery. Being not the old days, boys cannot simply clunk a woman on the noggin with a heavy object when she resists his charms (or lack thereof).
	Haunted Castle review (ARC) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 When people think of terrible Castlevania games, the usual suspects are Castlevania: The Adventure for the GameBoy and Castlevania 64 for the Nintendo 64, but hidden deep in this mostly proud lineage is that drunken uncle who hasn't had a job in thirty years and shows up to family parties only to wreck them. Unlike Vs. Castlevania, which was just a minor tweak of the NES version, Konami's Haunted Castle is a completely original entry into the arcade, which, fortunately, has never turned up elsew...
	Double Dragon review (A2600) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 Certain types of games are just totally inappropriate for certain platforms. Would you want to play Resident Evil on your Texas Instruments calculator? How about Doom on your NES? On the same token the thought of a Double Dragon port for the Atari 2600 is just plain bizarre. Double Dragon was a state of the art 1987 arcade game with three action buttons. The Atari 2600 was a dated and decaying console from 1977 with a single action button. Clearly there were going to be some porting problems. &#...
	Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em review (A2600) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 Ah, Mystique, bless you. What would the Atari 2600 be without your games? As if there weren't enough bad titles, you had to introduce pixilated nudity into the mix. Without you, the Japanese wouldn't have the idea to copy, and Hentai games would be long delayed!
	Bokosuka Wars review (NES) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 You stand alone in strange forest, all area devoid of color except for the few trees and shrubs ahead. You set upon your quest to kill the irritating Lizard King who boggles his eyes at your kingdom. Hark, a gremlin-foe ahead! You charge the weak-looking beast and clash swords. The gremlin quickly fells you. You are dead. In hell, a giant Lizard King chases you around with his pennant and walking cane chanting, ''WOW! YOU LOSE!''
	Radia Senki: Reimei Hen review (NES) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 Game production was much different during the days of the NES. Cartridges had to be bought and licensed from Nintendo, distribution was expensive because cartridges had to be manufactured long in advance, and translations were a much bigger proportion of the total cost. Essentially, every release was a huge risk. Add to this Nintendo of America's rule that each company could release only five games per year. The conglomeration of these situations caused third party companies to release only the ...
	Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode review (NES) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 It's only fair that a relatively obscure anime spawn a relatively obscure game. For the clueless, Golgo 13 is a Japanese comic book character who eventually starred in live-action and animated features. Duke Togo, the main character, generally going by his codename Golgo 13, is an assassin for hire. He only takes the most difficult and ''impossible'' missions. His sniping skill is unmatched by any in the world, so his handiwork comes at a high premium. Vic Tokai's Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode (1...
	Final Fantasy II review (NES) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 Whether or not the urban legends be true about Final Fantasy being aptly named for the future of Square, the fact was Square suddenly had a cash cow on their hands. And if there's anything 1980's Hollywood taught us, the best way to capitalize on fame is to quickly scratch out a sequel. Unfortunately, Square may have scratched this one out too quickly.
	Summer Carnival '92: Recca review (NES) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 The Nintendo Entertainment System is not regarded as having a plethora of quality shooters. This lack stems partially from technical difficulties: the NES just cannot handle the amount of action a good shooter requires. But the main reason is game makers just did not concentrate enough resources to produce a truly great title, choosing instead to manufacture platformers and the like. Through all this, Naxatsoft manages to bring us Recca, an almost unheard of title released in 1992, deep into the...
	Zanac review (NES) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 From the sharp minds of Compile come Zanac (1986/1987), a vertically scrolling shooter. Amidst a world of other games of the same genre, Zanac manages to outshine many of them, proving to be a strong contender with a unique challenge system, great weapons controls, and excellent graphics and sound.
	Zelda II: The Adventure of Link review (NES) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 To say that The Legend of Zelda revolutionized gaming is like saying The Beatles revolutionized music; it's an understatement no matter how you slice it. Zelda stunned the world with its complex yet digestible game play and its hours upon hours of nonstop fun, and it introduced the world to a new type of game and a new type of blockbuster. After Zelda, video gaming was never the same.
	Bazooka Cafe review (PC) Reviewed on May 26, 2008 Bazooka Cafe seems like a strange moniker for either a video game or a restaurant. Once you see the racks on these women, though, even a howitzer sounds like a huge understatement. When Hideyuki Mizuno leaves the corporate world behind to take over his ailing father's eatery, he doesn't know anything about the biz, but he is excited to uphold the most important reputation of the establishment. All the waitresses must be stacked. Yes, this adults-only adventure was designed with a spec...
	Trog review (NES) Reviewed on May 27, 2008 Trog!, in a nutshell, is a Pac-Man clone with a bit of Bubble Bobble added to the mix. You take control of a dinosaur named Bloop (and Spike, if you're playing two players) and on each island, you'll have to steal all of the one-eyed cavemen's (Trog's) eggs in order to advance to the next island. Of course, the ghosts, erm, Trogs, will come popping out of random holes in attempts to stop you. Like Pac-Man, you can try your best to avoid them, or, if you happen to be so lucky, eat a pinea...
	Sherlock Holmes: Nemesis review (PC) Reviewed on May 28, 2008 Arsène Lupin and Sherlock Holmes face off not in a book, but in an adventure game that encompasses all staples of the point-and-click genre, and manages to remain strictly faithful to the source material at the same time.
	Overclocked review (PC) Reviewed on May 28, 2008 Overclocked follows the story of David McNamara, former army psychiatrist, as he wanders the rain-slicked streets of New York, hunting for clues to uncover the mystery surrounding his five new patients.
	Sam & Max Episode 4 - Abe Lincoln Must Die review (PC) Reviewed on May 28, 2008 I had been interested in the Sam & Max games for at least a year, thanks to EmP’s reviewing monopoly on the series. Through a succession of AIM chats, I gained further insight into the titles’ history: the brilliance of the script, the difficulty of the puzzles, and the varying connections between them, among other things. Still, what he told me only scraped the surface. He revealed no answers, no spoilers – just enough to hold my interest. As such, it was his confidence that Abe Linco...
	The Immortals of Terra: A Perry Rhodan Adventure review (PC) Reviewed on May 28, 2008 Perry Rhodan, for the uninitiated (or rather for those who haven't Googled his name for review purposes), is the star of a forty year old German space opera. Beginning life in print, the series is now a massive phenomena in its native land, spawning TV shows, Graphic Novels and now, a point and click adventure game.
	Resident Evil 4 review (PS2) Reviewed on May 29, 2008 Those early-game villagers utilize all sorts of farming implements, such as pitchforks, sickles and hatchets, in their attempts to end Leon's mission prematurely. And they're the patsies. Just wait until one of their heads explodes to release a tentacle-flailing parasite seemingly crafted in the darkest recesses of H.P. Lovecraft's imagination. Or a gigantic ogre lumbers into the fray, rips a gnarled tree out of the ground and starts swinging it around like it was light as a feather. Or a monstrous semi-invisible bug pounces, spraying Leon with acidic secretions.
	Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring review (PS2) Reviewed on May 31, 2008 It’s a game with multiple imperfections, but its overall easiness, the satisfaction of battle (despite the flaws there), and, most notably, the sheer nostalgia and wonderment of playing something modeled after one of your favorite novels makes the experience much more enjoyable. It may not be the greatest adaptation ever made, but it still leaves me filled with a profound sense of contentment.
	bit Generations: Coloris review (GBA) Reviewed on May 31, 2008 And I was so looking forward to this. Coloris is renowned as one of the better Bit Generations titles, a color-matching game where you live or die by the refinement of your visual palette. Gameplay videos looked almost avant-garde in their busy little squares of light shifting and pulsing and phasing out of view; a Japanese musician had even made a music video from the material. Game as art! Art as game! This is what I want!

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