Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Prince of Persia: Revelations review (PSP) Reviewed on August 13, 2007 Even though the game sometimes looks like a bad Kung Fu film (audio clips for scripted events aren't properly synched), out-of-control glitches are NOT what make Revelations an irritating experience. The atrocious framerate, inopportune loading, and horrible controls accomplish that on their own.
	Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology review (PSP) Reviewed on August 13, 2007 Sometimes you're retrieving an item. Others you're rescuing someone who got lost, or delivering a goody he or she needs, or scavenging for materials at an item point. No matter how you look at it, though, you're no more than an errand boy (or girl) engaged in one long series of fetch quests.
	Growl review (GEN) Reviewed on August 14, 2007 It’s just another day at the office at the Ranger Corps. You and three of your Indiana Jones-wannabe coworkers are sitting back at the bar, enjoying some good beer and watching the Congo sun slowly descend into the horizon. Somewhere in the middle of this alcoholic fog, a young woman enters the room. She’s tall, blonde, and wearing one of the most crudely drawn suit and skirt sprites you’ve ever seen. But as you can take in her lovely curves and legs that stretch on forever, she utters a scratch...
	Gurumin: A Monstrous Adventure review (PSP) Reviewed on August 14, 2007 Poor Parin. Her mother and father have decided to go off on a grand adventure and believing that their dear sweet child is too juvenile to tag along with them, they unceremoniously dump her with the grandfather who resides in a remote mining town with absolutely nothing to do apart from twiddling one’s thumbs. What’s a twelve year old girl to do in such a place that epitomises the exact opposite of fun and games? As that helium-pumped dinosaur, Barney, would put it - it’s time to use your imagin...
	Solitaire review (PC) Reviewed on August 14, 2007 Have you actually tried to play solitaire with your own deck of cards? Your answer is most likely no, but I have. And yes, it got messy. A vast number of problems arose when I attempted to do what is best left to computer: I was unsure if there were five rows or seven rows to begin the game, I dealt the cards way to close to the table, it is a pain moving more than five cards in one row to the other, and I had to actually shuffle and deal the cards. After about twenty minutes and two games I qui...
	Achtung! Spitfire review (PC) Reviewed on August 15, 2007 Avalon Hill's Achtung! Spitfire is a rare game in more than one way. The world-reknowned board game publisher, having produced excellent offerings ranging from a simulation of the airline business to art thievery, came up with this realistic depiction of World War II dogfighting. Apt, then, that it's based on a board game that's older than most people reading this. The formula is perfect: each turn depicts roughly two seconds of intense aerial combat. Missions range from protecting a flee...
	Galactic Civilizations II: Dread Lords review (PC) Reviewed on August 15, 2007 August 1, 2007- On this day, I created my people. I named them the Memians, after internet memes of old. I knew I would need to give them the right skills to survive in this harsh galaxy, so upon them, I blessed them with augmentations to their soldiering skills, their shipbuilding abilities, and their reproductive 'talents'. My bunny-like custom race--with their ability to fuck like rabbits and increase their population by over nine thousand times--set out to dominate thei...
	Ganpuru: Gunman's Proof review (SNES) Reviewed on August 15, 2007 Then, early in the seventh hideout, you can pick one of two sets of clothes. One greatly enhances Zero’s attack, while the other does the same to his defense. Take the first suit and no enemy, even the final boss, can stand up to his power. Grab the second and it’ll take even the toughest foes an eternity to whittle down his life meter. Considering you’ll probably have obtained a good number of extra lives by this point, it now is nearly impossible to actually die.
	Gregory Horror Show review (PS2) Reviewed on August 15, 2007 It's not easy, being Death. As if having the voice of a 1980s throwback gameshow host - or constantly wearing your nation's flag atop your head (Swedish, naturally) - wasn't bad enough, there's also the small matter of collecting lost souls to contend with. Rather than going out there and doing the dirty work himself, The Grim Reaper's only option is to employ the services of a single being, trapped amongst the peculiar cubic guests in the hotel from Hell.
	Killer 7 review (GCN) Reviewed on August 15, 2007 Killer7 squandered more potential than most any other game this decade. On top of making me wonder if Capcom was an LSD production front, its hyper-stylized and totally off-the-wall trailers made it seem downright unbelievable. A hero that can burst into a cloud of blood and reforming as any one of his seven split personalities at will; a crippled old sniper with a maid who slaps the shit out of him when she isn't pushing his wheelchair around; and a TV news dude with an afro and a yellow t-shir...
	Sam & Max: Season One review (PC) Reviewed on August 18, 2007 Everyone’s favourite dog and rabbity-thing – the noir-detective canine Sam and his psychopathic friend Max – are finally back on the videogame scene after nearly fifteen years. Developed by Telltale Games, a studio consisting of many experienced adventure game creators from the Lucasarts days in the 1990s, Sam and Max were placed into a television-styled format, wherein a series of six ‘episodes’ were released online each month. These six separate adventures form a more cohesive picture on the w...
	Ninja Gaiden review (XBX) Reviewed on August 18, 2007 Ninja Gaiden is a mean game. The enemies you encounter are absolute ass-kicking, in-your-face, unforgiving, top-of-the-line butt-whooping badasses, and they know nothing but your demise. So determined are they to bring about your end that I received the impression that the game itself was out to get me. The free-floating sense of hostility I picked up from Ninja Gaiden is so extreme that I’m somewhat surprised the load screens don’t say, “Loading, bitch!”
	Violence Fight review (ARC) Reviewed on August 20, 2007 I was trying to think up a good intro for this. You know, something that had to do with the story, maybe a little descriptive scene. Unfortunately, no words can quite describe the plot of Violence Fight, so here it is, taken directly from the game itself:
	Sonic CD review (SCD) Reviewed on August 20, 2007 I'm sure that many know of our friend Sonic the Hedgehog's forays into the world of 3D. Aside from the Sonic Adventure games, they haven't been all that good. All have been plagued with a wonky camera, fetch quests, and shooting levels. Though the recent next-gen bomb Sonic the Hedgehog for Xbox 360 and PS3 attempted to remedy these issues, it actually gave the entire gaming world suck pains. The game was that awful.
	Indigo Prophecy review (PS2) Reviewed on August 20, 2007 The relentless gravity of Indigo Prophecy pulls you through a vivid storm.
	Kudos: Rock Legend review (PC) Reviewed on August 20, 2007 If you can find satisfaction in high percentages, Rock Legend just might be your game, as It's basically clicking through menus until as many bars as possible say 100%, but with a theme. Because without the theme, it'd hardly even be a game. Almost nothing it impresses except ideas, but those are ruined. It isn't horrible execution that ruins them, however, but an utter lack of execution.
	Brave Story: New Traveler review (PSP) Reviewed on August 20, 2007 This is the story of a young boy named Tatsuya. He absolutely loves to play videogames (who doesn't?), so much so that his girlfriend often feels neglected around him. One day, his dearest falls ill under mysterious circumstances; this is Tatsuya's wake-up call. Desperate to save her, our ten year old protagonist drops to his knees and as fortune would have it, he opens up a portal into a fantasy world called Vision: a realm where one's deepest desires are granted by an almighty Goddess who lies...
	Shadow Hearts review (PS2) Reviewed on August 21, 2007 Shadow Hearts is a shining gem in the collection of RPG's everywhere. This December-2001 release was unfortunately overshadowed by the releases of other popular games. Sacnoth was not a big name at the time and it got little attention. The most notable reason this masterpiece of gaming was ignored is because of the release of Final Fantasy X, which was released at practically the same time. Shadow Hearts is an unsung hero in the RPG world. After the high of Square's own gem in the form of an RPG...
	Concentration review (PC) Reviewed on August 21, 2007 It's not that the artwork is bad—it's not—but it's obscure and could mean a few things. Half the time, you'll look at a picture and say to yourself “Hmm, that's either a stick, a log, a limb, a branch or a twig or something else I'm forgetting.” Solving the puzzles is tiresome instead of fun.
	Atelier Iris 3: Grand Phantasm review (PS2) Reviewed on August 21, 2007 Most people today overlook the real beauty of what the 2D RPG is all about. Sure, there are lots of pretty looking RPGs these days like Star Ocean 3 or Final Fantasy X. But a 2D RPG has the beauty of the old days, when games didn't have to look pretty to catch an interest from someone. It gives you that feel of when you were playing games like Breath of Fire or Lufia II or maybe even Dragon View. Thankfully, Atelier Iris 3 still holds that charm of 2D RPGs, something that Atelier Iris 2 couldn't...

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