Review Archives (All Reviews)
You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Bible Adventures review (NES)Reviewed on December 09, 2003Blast! Sunday has been looming well nigh for lo, a good twelve hours now, and now I wake up to find I am afflicted with sinuses. Gooey green liquid pours out of every orifice in my face, and you can bake a cake by keeping time with me - I hack up a new glob of sputum every thirty minutes on the dot. |
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The Adventures of Tom Sawyer review (NES)Reviewed on December 09, 2003Mothers, lock up your daughters and put the cows out to pasture, because what is this we have here? Why, it's a game based on the Mark Twain novel about a boy named Tom Sawyer and his adventures along the mighty Mississippi! I don't know who decided that classic 19th-century American literature is good source material for a video game, but it's a relief to see that at least someone was willing to explore the possibility. Now that Mark Twain has been dead for nearly a century, however, he has no ... |
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Worms 2 review (PC)Reviewed on December 09, 2003''It looks just like a cartoon!'' |
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Star Trek: Judgment Rites review (PC)Reviewed on December 09, 2003A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...... |
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Progress Quest review (PC)Reviewed on December 09, 2003I had no idea what to expect when I was ushered into the world of Progress Quest by a couple of online acquaintances. I had been told, however, that it was a game unlike any I'd ever played and that the super-fast download was well worth the time. After unzipping and opening my 300kb file, I opened the game and saw that I was being treated to an MMORPG of sorts. The list of occupations and races was there and seemed fairly normal ..... but then I got to really looking at it. And I knew beyond a ... |
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Pocket Tanks review (PC)Reviewed on December 09, 2003You may not realize it, but this game has been around in some form or another since (you won't believe this) (you just won't) (I swear it on my life) the 80s. Yes, back when Cosby was everyone's paradigm of humor and people took you totally seriously when you did things like say ''Gag me with a spoon'' or bust out with the Safety Dance. This game's very oldest pappy was programmed in a strange archaic computer language called QBASIC (I can see all you young whippersnappers scratchin' yer heads i... |
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King's Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder review (PC)Reviewed on December 09, 2003Once again, it's time to dip into my Hotmail inbox, where once in a while I rummage down far enough past the debt consolidation messages and annoyingly persistent offers to ''enlarge [myself] safely and naturally'' to locate a message worth reading. Ah, here's one! Let us peruse its inner details. Ahem: |
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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York review (PC)Reviewed on December 09, 2003A lot of the things wrong with America seem to be Macaulay Culkin's fault in some way. Thanks to The Pagemaster, kids are turned off from reading books. Ted Danson, a respectable actor even when paired with Kirstie ''Ugly-As-Sin Ice Queen'' Alley on Cheers, never fully recovered from the repeated blows to the groin and spleen that came together to form Getting Even With Dad. Macaulay Culkin was also the first child star I remember watching - almost voyeuristically, it seems - as he slid freely a... |
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Daze Before Christmas review (SNES)Reviewed on December 09, 2003All around us, people are heralding the joyous events occurring roundabout the end of December. Families are dragging tangled balls of lights and fragile ornaments from their attics; perennial Christmas movies and specials are already littering the TV networks; the video game industry is gearing up for a projected season of record-setting sales with state-of-the-art new action blockbusters and fantastic RPGs. Me, I've been doing something GameFAQs regulars might appreciate but that the average l... |
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Tom and Jerry review (SNES)Reviewed on December 09, 2003From the Book of Snow Dragon, Volume XLIV, chapter 2, verses 18-22, row 4, seat J: |
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Beethoven: The Ultimate Canine Caper review (SNES)Reviewed on December 09, 20031992-1993 is my personal Golden Age of gaming. Sure, those who can legally buy their own booze and tobacco may pine for the days of shooting rocks floating out in space from the tenuous safety of a triangular space cruiser while those who are just now celebrating the growth of hair in certain areas might rue the passing of that long-gone dynasty where Cloud Strife and Co. ruled the GameFAQs Top 10 and their PlayStations with an iron fist. For me, though, 1992 and 1993 were a duo blessed by the H... |
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The Sims review (PS2)Reviewed on December 09, 2003When I reviewed Animal Crossing some eight months ago (that long?), I gave it a 10 based on how well it did what it set out to do - that is, simulate life - and on first impressions, and the game succeeded spectacularly in that regard. However, I failed to take into account the fact that if social lives could be tangibly measured, you would need one as a grain of sand to truly derive any redeemable value from it, and in essence I made myself look like a total fool. However, I am now older and wi... |
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Monster Rancher 3 review (PS2)Reviewed on December 09, 2003When your parents stuff you and your siblings into your clown car of a family sedan and drive you hundreds, thousands of miles even, to a colony where Amish people still churn butter, take the reins of horse-drawn buggies and have barn raisings on at least a weekly basis, they're trying to prove something to you. And that something is that life wasn't always so easy. The Internet hasn't been around forever, cell phones weren't so prevalent even a decade ago, and you had to put your waffles in th... |
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Bombastic review (PS2)Reviewed on December 09, 2003Rarely is the justice bestowed upon sleeper hits that they truly deserve. Month in and month out, unsung hits fly under the radar of the gaming public at large. Whose fault this is, it's difficult to say. Are magazines covering the wrong games, or are players not looking hard enough for the silver linings? Five years ago, an obscure puzzler named Devil Dice came to the PlayStation and starred a diminutive imp, more cutesy than malevolent, who rotated dice with a nifty shuffle of his feet and cou... |
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Legend of Mana review (PSX)Reviewed on December 09, 2003When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that all the dunces shall be in confederacy against him.'' |
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Bushido Blade 2 review (PSX)Reviewed on December 09, 2003Among the annals of the Internet is a sweet website called Swords Online. There they have knives, daggers, and all other manner of pointy objects designed both for inflicting pain and showing off on the fireplace mantel. Swords from all eras of time are on the website as well, including some from the samurai age featured predominantly in this game. When I see some of the swords, daggers, and lances displayed on Swords Online, my mind naturally turns to this game. Bushido Blade 2 is a ballet of b... |
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Pokemon Snap review (N64)Reviewed on December 09, 2003If I'm prey to anything, it's a good marketing ploy. And what a whizzbanger this one is! Pokémon Snap (Nintendo, 1999) follows the path of milking the pocket monster cash cow - or rodent, as it were - with little diversion from time-tested formulas. Aimed toward very small children who think that an N64 controller is a highfalutin teething ring, it's basically a photo safari on wheels, as you take the helm in a spherical steel vehicle that looks somewhat like a gold Pokéball with a headlight int... |
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Sonic the Hedgehog Spinball review (GEN)Reviewed on December 09, 2003Smell that? Mmmm ..... sludge from the nearby subterranean cave network. Kid tested, mother approved. The first level of the game drenches you in the stuff, or at least puts it in very near proximity to your fragile body. You get an innocent enough introduction for such a quirky game: Sonic and Tails dip low in their trademark biplane to take out Robotnik's impossibly large fortress of doom, though in the twinkling of an eye, they're cleanly and mercilessly shot down. Tails manages to steer the ... |
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Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama review (GEN)Reviewed on December 09, 2003To call it a lapse of good judgment on my part would be a sickening understatement, because believe it or not, I actually had high hopes for Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama (Electronic Arts, 1994). When a friend shows you such an off-the-wall game, there is an innate obligation to play it and see what it's like just to appease your friend's desires. This is what happened to me as I sat helplessly behind a barrage of praise including phrases like ''This game is hilarious'', ''You'll love this game that... |
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Ka-Ge-Ki: Fists of Steel review (GEN)Reviewed on December 09, 2003After hesitantly accepting the HANGEDMAN CHALLENGE, I figured out why this game is called Ka Ge Ki. To understand the title better, one must break these three two-letter words down and investigate them individually. |
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