Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge review (GB) Reviewed on December 10, 2003 Where Castlevania: The Adventure was slow and plodding, Belmont’s Revenge is fast paced by Castlevania standards, and is as much fun to play as the best the series, and is about as good as the side-scrolling adventure genre has to offer. Castlevania III and Super Castlevania IV are often considered the best games in the series, and if they are representative of the best 8-bit and 16-bit offerings respectively, then Belmont’s Revenge is easily the best portable title.
	The Castlevania Adventure review (GB) Reviewed on December 10, 2003 I thoroughly enjoy this terrific franchise, and I look forward to each release with newfound excitement. When I first saw screenshots for The Adventure, I fought an urge to immediately conclude that the game would be a winner. It looked good, its lack of colour notwithstanding. And certainly sound and gameplay quality was never a problem for Konami's 2-D, whip-toting heroes of Gothic tradition. Until now.
	Nemesis review (GB) Reviewed on December 10, 2003 Don’t get it twisted. Nemesis is a remixed, scaled down Gradius, plain and simple. You fly from left to right and fire on everything in sight, encountering weaklings flying in formation, Moai heads literally spitting out Cheerios, and giant ships that move up and down firing sliver-like lasers for you to squeeze between. Konami/Ultra have down an admirable job here, making Nemesis one of the best shooters available for on-the-go killing sprees.
	Wizards & Warriors X: Fortress of Fear review (GB) Reviewed on December 10, 2003 I love side-scrollers, and someone knew this. I was duped, led astray, and the rest of it. I would gladly take on any Castlevania adventure (even The Adventure), The Legendary Axe, hell, even a rusty bladed generic Rastan mission. But X (may I call you X?) doesn’t deserve my hack and slashing skills, nor does it deserve yours. More importantly, our hack and slash skills are unlikely to measure up to this evil cartridge's challenge.
	Donkey Kong review (GB) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 You can't get a much better game than this for on the go play. Donkey Kong is the stuff, really it is. It's not what you think: it's not just a little plumber named Mario (formerly Jumpman) leaping over barrels sent his way by an angry ape. There's a lot more to it this time 'round.
	Bonk's Revenge review (GB) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 It pains me to sum up this Bonk experience, because there are little in the way of saving graces. And I love the series. And I loved Bonk's Adventure for the Gameboy despite its utter lack of challenge and intensity. Charm saw it through! The utter lack of challenge is back in this sequel, but the charm is nowhere to be found.
	Bonk's Adventure review (GB) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Bonk's Adventure for the Gameboy starts off looking like it's going to be a direct port of the Turbografx-16 classic. But it's not! The game stars the same big-headed caveman who bonks all his enemies with his noggin, and the story and some of the locales are the same, but things have been changed up just a bit, and that's somewhat refreshing.
	Tagin' Dragon review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 When you eat warm food, you feel warmer, especially if it is a juicy, mouth-watering sirloin steak you just took a bite out of.
	Pesterminator review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 With a name like Kernel Kleanup, how can you lose? Easily, that's how. For one thing, the dorks at Western Exterminator and Color Dreams didn't even spell it right. It's Colonel, not Kernel. And he must think he's got that rat right where he wants him, what with the hammer cleverly hidden behind his back and all. Still, a wave of familiarity will hit you like a brick in the face even you've never played this game. How so? Well, odds are you've probably seen this guy on the Mossimo shirts from ba...
	Gyromite review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 When Nintendo came about from its humble foray into arcades to raise a home console system, they felt this strange need to categorize all their games for you. You had the Sports Series, the Adventure Series, even the Programmable Series, and so on and so forth. Each of their conveniently labeled genres lived up to their silly monikers and earned Nintendo a spotless reputation. What is startling but not altogether surprising to find out now, however, is that most of these games have aged like che...
	Mr. Gimmick review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 I've played some mighty weird games in my tenure here as a reviewer. One allowed you to swim through a sea of milk and featured an evil tapir as the final boss. Another placed you in the role of a blue blob whose primary line of offense consisted of projectile vomiting his nucleus at his aggressors. Still another game allowed you to grow a raccoon's tail and use it as a flying implement whenever you collected something so simple as a leaf. Granted, that last one turned out to be massively popula...
	Urban Champion review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 In 1984, Nintendo was the luckiest company on the face of the gaming planet. With Atari taking a shameful nosedive into oblivion, Nintendo had a clean slate on all fronts. After moving the foundations of the arcade scene, Nintendo seized the opportunity to make a boatload of games that everybody could enjoy. There were games for the sports enthusiast, games for the new rising breed of platforming fans, and enough quirky small packages of miscellany to keep all gamers on their toes.
	Taboo: The Sixth Sense review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 I suppose it's not fair that I went into Taboo: The Sixth Sense with a predisposition to dislike it. Then again, it's reasonable not to expect much from a non-game whose sole purpose is to give you the most obtuse answer possible to any given question. Taboo falls into its own special category along with a handful of other games designed solely to piss off the average gamer, because it's not a game. It's a short, five-minute activity that was poorly passed off as an exciting product that could h...
	Seicross review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 I have no idea what this game is really about. All I know is that of the four games that came with my $2 NES, it was the only one I had never heard of. The label on the cartridge is standard 80's artistry - rides on hovering bikes sideswiping each other on a futuristic landscape. It elucidated little of the mystery within save for rudimentary aesthetic details. Hesitant though I was, I knew it would have to be the first game I tried out. After a short session of rigorously blowing on the pin con...
	Mach Rider review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 As we in the States sit down this coming Thanksgiving to realize the convenience of our bountiful possessions and remind ourselves what terminally insane relatives we have, my mind turns first to video games. I am thankful for the sweet escape they provide from the pressures of reality, and that I have a wide array of genres to choose from when I am bored. I may want to beat the tar out of a few of my enemies with a little Street Fighter or save the world with my awe-inspiring platforming skills...
	Guerilla War review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Think back to a time when a shoot-em-up game could more accurately have been dubbed a blow-em-up; a time when violence in video games was the last thing on Joe Lieberman's mind; a time when a game didn't have to go through a million metal detectors only to become a pathetic distilled version of its original powerful self that could barely stand up on its own two tank treads. Yes, the glory days of the NES played host to a number of action-packed games where if you were carrying a souped-up machi...
	Bill & Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves, better known by their respective monikers of Bill S. Preston, esq. and Ted Theodore Logan, have clearly been established in pop culture history as the spokesmen for an entire generation of drooling slackers and rock-addled dimwits. What do they stand for? Peace and harmony attained through stirring rock-and-roll ballads in the tradition of such greats as Van Halen and Led Zeppelin. What do they believe in? That's easy: they believe above all in being most excellent ...
	Bible Adventures review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Blast! Sunday has been looming well nigh for lo, a good twelve hours now, and now I wake up to find I am afflicted with sinuses. Gooey green liquid pours out of every orifice in my face, and you can bake a cake by keeping time with me - I hack up a new glob of sputum every thirty minutes on the dot.
	The Adventures of Tom Sawyer review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Mothers, lock up your daughters and put the cows out to pasture, because what is this we have here? Why, it's a game based on the Mark Twain novel about a boy named Tom Sawyer and his adventures along the mighty Mississippi! I don't know who decided that classic 19th-century American literature is good source material for a video game, but it's a relief to see that at least someone was willing to explore the possibility. Now that Mark Twain has been dead for nearly a century, however, he has no ...
	Worms 2 review (PC) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 ''It looks just like a cartoon!''

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