Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	Super Mario World review (SNES) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 As gamers, we all have a certain game that stands out among the others that we've played. There have been dozens of games that I've played through, but in only one of those I can remember how to beat every level. If I couldn't play this game for ten years, once my punishment was up, I'd still be able to pick up the controller and enjoy it, even if it isn't challenging anymore. That game is Super Mario World. A lot of people begin these reviews with a nostalgic story of their fond memories...
	SimEarth review (PC) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Imagine if you will, a newborn planet. It is completely covered in flame and magma. Billions of years pass by in mere seconds, and this lava has hardened into rock. In the blink of an eye, many billions of years have passed once more, and your world is now covered in oceans. Single celled organisms begin to emerge and multiply in the vast oceans. Volcanoes erupt, creating the first continents. New species evolve, and many emerge out of the oceans to become land-dwellers. Forests now begin to cov...
	Silent Debuggers review (TG16) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Meet Leon. He’s your buddy, your leader, your home base. He’s also dead cool - he wears dark glasses indoors and rolls up his sleeves like a middle finger extended to the chilly corridors where he must do his tireless, one-handed work (no, typing on the computer!). Be just half the man Leon is, and play Silent Debuggers. Better still, be a smarter man, and don’t.
	Tiger Road review (TG16) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Perhaps it's the simplicity of the gameplay that draws me in. You control a little bald man, Lee Wong (who bears no relation to Bonk, in case you're wondering). Never mind what the glossy, airbrushed cover depicts; you are not Fu Man Chu, and the Rogaine is not working. So just leave it alone it Costanza - there's no denying the complete, stark baldness.
	Super Mario Bros. review (NES) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Super Mario Brothers is instantly memorable, and over time, its appeal only grows. It isn’t as goofy as its oddball sequel, nor is it as wondrous as the magical third game in the series to appear for the system. But it has a wholly old school personality that will please gamers who can find enjoyment in simplicity. If this isn’t you, stay away from this game; you'll likely faint at the madness of boss area loops and palette swapped environs.
	Street Fighter II' Hyper Fighting review (ARC) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Pick Ryu. Try to duck and use rapid short kicks to set up a throw and find the blue beast, Blanka, eating your face a la Hannibal (only our mutant might not know to have a Chianti at the ready). Worse yet, the Japanese fireballer might find himself being slapped about by an obese countryman named Honda, fresh out of the bath complete with sagging towel and hairpins. The move is called the 100-hand slap, though I’m sure a dizzied, vulnerable Ryu would not have had a chance to count them all.
	Thunder Fox review (ARC) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Rend soldier-types with semi-automatics and melt massive vehicles with flamethrowers. As early as level one there’s opportunity to cruise about in an army jeep and literally run terrorists down, or pick them off mercilessly with the vehicle’s gun if you’re the delicate type.
	Street Fighter II: The World Warrior review (ARC) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 For a moment, forgive creator Capcom's penchant for watering down the viability of their own games by releasing sequel after sequel, and see SFII for the head-to-head combat, genre-blazing pioneer that it is. Similar titles had come before it, such as its own predecessor, but none of them were like this. From a relevance standpoint, Capcom's fighter is no less than Super Mario Brothers with uppercuts.
	Ninja Gaiden review (ARC) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Tecmo made a Double Dragon type game, where the screen scrolled sideways and you could walk up into the background, and added some interesting spices. The result is the arcade version of Ninja Gaiden. Fans of the NES series will find things dreadfully amiss here, (where's the wall climbing, the swordplay, the magic?) and no doubt immediately consider this much different coin-op to be inferior. It is, actually. But not by as much as you'd think.
	Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3 review (GBA) Reviewed on December 16, 2003 In 1995, an unlikely legend was born. Still riding on the success of the blockbuster hit from four years earlier, Super Mario World, and the popularity of other classic titles such as Super Mario Kart and the various NES hits, it didn't seem like there was much more the Mario series could do to further its legend. Nintendo decided to pull another Super Mario Bros. 2 - to take a chance by going down the strange, unbeaten path once again. Why not go way back in Mario's history...
	Double Dragon II: The Revenge review (ARC) Reviewed on December 16, 2003 How wildly our imaginations distort the truth! How apt they are to bend and twist our so-so memories of games into more favourable aspects so that we may think dearly of these adventures from our past, and finally, triumphantly, gloriously, return to them. More often than not, we shouldn’t. With games like Double Dragon 2, we should leave it at, ''wasn’t that a blast?'' Because with revisitation comes the dark face of reality unadorned by the kindly mixture of time, and time away.
	Crime City review (ARC) Reviewed on December 16, 2003 Remember Miami Vice? Or, failing that, the Lethal Weapon series? Well, from the two-word titles, right down to the main characters - the cool ADD-afflicted Caucasian guy, and by-the-book clean cut black guy - Crime City isn’t ashamed to imitate.
	Fear Effect review (PSX) Reviewed on December 16, 2003 At the nexus where Resident Evil, Metal Gear Solid, Blade Runner and Big Trouble in Little China meet, there is Fear Effect (FE), one of the toughest, darkest and most lurid survival horror outings to arrive late in the Playstation's career. In FE you control a team of three mercenaries, the intriguingly named Hana, Glas and Deke, seeking out a runaway girl in a neon-lit future Hong Kong with plans to ransom her back to her millionaire Triad-leading father. Awful complicatio...
	Violence Fight review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2003 There’s no game that encompasses the smell of pizza quite like Violence Fight. The aroma twists my head and lures me in. I cannot escape it; it is all-consuming. The game itself -- well, the quality was never in question. At best Violence Fight was always a comical time-waster to me, to us, who spent our lunch times feeding it quarters. Sure, it wasn't deserving of our attention, but it was there, and it was a video game. Better that we should have stayed indoors, inside the school-cum-penitentiary, and eat our packed lunches humbly hunched over at long nondescript benches? HA! How much sweeter it was to play a game this loaded with kitsch, loading our own stomachs full of sloppy pepperoni pizza, and enjoy a sun-filled walk back to our cells and classrooms.
	Superman review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2003 Taito used to rule the corner stores with an iron fist. And as such, all we kids who cut class to go to the corner stores to play video games thought Taito was the shit. Superman was a big name cog in the mighty Taito wheel that included other beat-em-up notables like Thunder Fox and Crime City. I think the latter two were my absolute favourites, and what’s nice is that in revisiting them, I found that I still enjoyed myself quite a bit beyond the tingly feeling in your stomach that nostalgia brings. Unfortunately, Superman doesn’t do any tingly things anymore. It just makes me yawn.
	Street Fighter review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2003 That guy in the first player slot with red hair, jerking about as if frames of animation are missing, is Ryu. You might recognize him; his hair has gotten darker with age and he has since doffed the ruby red slippers he wears in this incarnation. The blonde guy occupying the spot opposite his Japanese counterpart is the barefooted Ken. He seems to have gotten prettier with age, which is a good thing, because he’s ugly as sin in this game. (Perhaps the Masters Corporation was on the cusp of multibillion dollar success, allowing young Ken to later go under the knife.) These are the only two characters you can select from.
	Snow Bros. review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2003 Nick and Tom are snowmen. They wear little hats on the backs of their heads, and are dressed down, trailer park style in overalls, with no shirts. The two always smiling wonders have a daunting task on their plates - no less than 50 levels of one-screen-at-a-time action demands conquering, and the monsters patrolling each one-level screen or 'floor', have only one mission in life, and that's snowman homicide.
	R-Type Leo review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2003 When you play the first few levels, your hardened fan’s heart will melt with the realization that this is the sort of simple genius that makes for excellent shooting, and is deserving of its own sequel, or series. Under another moniker, Leo may have flourished, but it found itself in limbo during the shooter supply and demand pipeline between IREM and their fans. An excellent game they got - the game they wanted, they did not.
	Rezon review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2003 The people at Alhummer were some evil, sadistic sons of bitches. I can’t stress this enough. They weren’t so creative, but they were cold and calculating. Consider this: they took Irem’s arcade, horizontal shooter hit, R-Type, and absolutely, positively ripped it off. But that was only the beginning. I mean, we’ve seen R-Type clones before. But Rezon takes the cloning process to a whole other level.
	Magician Lord review (NEO) Reviewed on December 14, 2003 Begin as blue-clad Elta in the Dale of Evil Gods, and descend the very rungs of the ladder of hell to recover the Eight Books of Wisdom from the God of Destruction, Az Atorse. Magician Lord is dead serious, and if you don't believe me, simply witness the names of places and enemies. Travel the Corridor Leading to Hell and wreak havoc on the parapets of the Castle of Devils, taking on guardians like Beautiful Assassin, and bosses like Hell's Creation (the guardians guard the bosses lairs) on the fiery eight-stage path to the final showdown.

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