Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution review (PS2) Reviewed on April 05, 2004 Not one of the crew feels half as limber as he or she ought to. When your opponent is a few feet away, it's not uncommon to watch both characters limp toward one another on-screen for a second or two before either is within range of the other. Even when it comes time to exchange blows, things don't speed up quite enough. The fastest fighters can get in a few good punches in short order, but every kick I've found takes long enough that you'll be tempted to hop up and make some microwave popcorn every time your character attacks with a roundhouse.
	Color a Dinosaur review (NES) Reviewed on April 03, 2004 So here we are on the day known 'round the world as April Fools Day, and what game is considered a bigger joke among denizens of the gaming world than Color a Dinosaur? I believe I could bet that at some point in their childhoods everyone involved in the development of this game either ate rusty nails and paint chips, jumped off into a ravine because they thought they could fly, put plastic bags over their heads and had to be saved from asphyxiation by their parents, or did something that involv...
	I-Ninja review (GCN) Reviewed on April 03, 2004 Even when the ninja falls down a pit, or collapses from exhaustion after a difficult fight where the enemies get in too many hits, it's difficult to turn off the game just because you know there's something cool waiting just around the corner. The game accomplishes this in a number of ways. First, it keeps things fresh with all the different objectives already discussed. And second, it has a power-up system that fits the game and becomes almost instantly addictive.
	Hellfire review (GEN) Reviewed on April 03, 2004 This review has big plans. It tells me it wants to be the most useful review I’ve written so far. I’ve written some pretty ones, and some gushy ones, and a good share of tripe, along with the odd nostalgic recollection. But never something this entirely useful. Because let’s face it: the only way you’ll even give Hellfire a second glance even at the miniscule prices it will sell for at a pawn shop, is if you’re a hardcore horizontal shooter fan. And so you are that. And so, almost certainly, you won’t hesitate to give up your McDonald’s apple pie money for Hellfire in order to get your 16-bit blast on. I can’t stop you. I won’t even try.
	Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour review (GCN) Reviewed on April 01, 2004 As the meter fills toward the left, you can press the 'B' button instead of the 'A' button. This is a subtle but very important difference. While pressing 'A' causes the game to hold you by the hand and automatically give you a good swing, pressing the 'B' button puts the control more directly in your hands. While you are more likely to slice the ball and send it into a nearby bunker, you also have additional options.
	Hellfire review (GEN) Reviewed on March 31, 2004 Being fronted with the one-man-against-the-universe plot isn’t something unfamiliar when playing any of the multitude of shooters on the Genesis. Hellfire - one of the many arcade shooter ports here on the Genesis – isn’t any exception, quite the same in fact. Set adrift from your mothership armed with only your regular weapon and the devastating, but limited, Hellfire laser, you are expected to save the universe from its impending doom.
	1941: Counter Attack review (SGX) Reviewed on March 30, 2004 On the surface, there really wasn’t that much wrong with Capcom’s first two World War II-based shooters. Both 1942 and 1943 had loads of fast action complete with an unbelievable number of planes and other vessels quivering with the uncontrollable urge to blast your little plane from the sky. But after playing those two classics from the days of yore for an extended period of time, some major problems began to emerge.
	Grand Theft Auto III review (PS2) Reviewed on March 29, 2004 There’s nothing like good ol’ fashioned violence and crime, and Grand Theft Auto III has plenty of it. The Grand Theft Auto series became notorious for its violence and “go anywhere, kill anyone” gameplay. While the previous 2 installments had to be played in an annoying and limiting overhead view, Grand Theft Auto III represents the series’ jump to 3D. The jump to 3D can be disastrous for a game series; just look at what happened to Bubsy way back in the early da...
	Cotton 2 review (SAT) Reviewed on March 27, 2004 Beams of white light streak across the screen, flaming scarlet dragons roar from the wand, bright blue frozen enemies bounce off the walls, and in general lots of things explode and shatter in ways that look oh-so-painful yet oh-so-pretty. This witchy little tale offers a lot of opportunity to use, abuse, and master your techniques — all in a world that's so beautiful that you'll blissfully drool the whole way through.
	Breath of Fire III review (PSX) Reviewed on March 26, 2004 One could easily say that the Super Nintendo was the first American console system to truly embrace role-playing games. From unforgettable legends such as Final Fantasy 3/6 and Chrono Trigger to more mundane offerings such as the slow-paced initial Lufia game and the confusing action RPG known as Brandish.
	Activision Anthology review (GBA) Reviewed on March 25, 2004 Rumors have been around for years about a ''portable system that plays Atari 2600 games.'' Being one whose favorite motto has always been ''I'll believe it when I see it,'' I never gave in to the rumors. Perhaps a portable 2600 was released somewhere, but never nationwide or I'd be one of the first to have my greedy little hands on it. I was one of the first to get my hands on Activision Anthology, a collection of 55 Atari 2600 titles that were all made by what may be the best company tha...
	Mickey's Adventures in Numberland review (NES) Reviewed on March 24, 2004 Scattered throughout the various locations are magical digits. If Mickey brushes into them, they're added to his inventory. More frequently, you'll find them sealed in a box you must destroy. If for some reason you forget what a given number looks like (which would be pretty dang stupid of you, considering the current desired number is displayed near the bottom of the screen), Mickey will brush against it and shake his head disapprovingly.
	Marble Madness review (NES) Reviewed on March 24, 2004 It turns out your marble is made out of china or something. Even a small drop will either set it to spinning (which delays your movement for a second or two) or cause it to crack (which delays you something like five seconds, in some cases). None of this would particularly matter, except the marbles have a tendency to be reluctant about directional changes.
	The Little Mermaid review (NES) Reviewed on March 23, 2004 It turns out that most of the enjoyment you'll derive from this game comes from tossing such bubbles. There are all sorts of nooks and crannies spread all over the place, and they often hold hidden treasure such as forks and pipes that are worth points when you complete a level. More importantly, you can often find hearts that give your life meter a boost.
	Mega Man & Bass review (GBA) Reviewed on March 23, 2004 Though the levels themselves aren't much longer than areas encountered in Mega Man 4 and its like, the ease with which you traverse each environment has been radically altered for the worse. Bottomless pits fill almost every room, and spikes and giant enemies that swarm you at every opportunity. Even the simplest of enemies do terrible damage if they brush against you, and the cramped quarters mean that all of them are much harder to avoid than you might expect.
	Summoner: A Goddess Reborn review (GCN) Reviewed on March 22, 2004 Since most enemies will take around ten hits to kill, battle quickly becomes a matter of exchanging blows, parrying, watching for an enemy opening, then repeating. Misjudge your opponent and you'll take quite a bit of damage. Not only that, but enemies will soon tire of head-on attacks and will decide to circle. Suddenly, you're dealing not only with an enemy opponent, but also the horrific camera.
	1080° Avalanche review (GCN) Reviewed on March 22, 2004 As a result, your relationship with a new level goes as follows: first you start playing and almost invariably lose by a large margin, then you start to memorize things and lose by only a hair (your boarder may even appear to have won, even though he or she didn't), then you'll effortlessly win almost every race as you fully memorize the obstacles. The challenge in the game is derived almost completely from the player's lack of familiarity with a given course.
	Samurai Shodown V review (ARC) Reviewed on March 22, 2004 Samurai Shodown 5 is very, very difficult for me to review. On the one hand, I thoroughly enjoy the game, and I find myself playing it more and more. On the other, it’s basically a slap in the face to fans of the series; which I am admittedly not.
	F-Zero GX review (GCN) Reviewed on March 22, 2004 Skip the cheesy lyrics to the late 80s power electric guitars in the background, as I’m taking you on a journey to the future! Not a future that exists in a cyber world where crime is around the bend of every corner, or a future where we live in floating homes that resemble bubbles, but a future where all of the music sounds like the them song to Gem, and all of the vehicles hover in the air! F-Zero GX, developed by the same team at Sega that is responsible for the critical successes in the Supe...
	The Suffering review (XBX) Reviewed on March 22, 2004 Midway has recently taken a new direct route towards gamers: their objective is to create new, exciting games that actually play decently. With a bright 2004 line-up in check, including Mortal Kombat: Deception in the fall, Midway has delivered a striking blow with the release of The Suffering, which has been in the making so long that dinosaurs were planned as the original development team. When the meteor hit, Surreal took the project away, and ran with it. After so much time in tweaking and a...

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