Review Archives (All Reviews)
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Elemental Master review (GEN)Reviewed on June 10, 2004The most endearing quality of Elemental Master is apparent before the controller is even touched. It begins with a pitch-black sky against a low lying blanket of fog, tousled only by the sharp hill tops jutting through, as a single, ever-escalating note lends its intensity to the dreary, oppressive scene. Sheet lightning pierces the darkness, exposing a previously unseen thunderhead. The flashing continues, each pulse giving more form to the cirrus structure, until finally, it is revealed... |
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Lufia & The Fortress of Doom review (SNES)Reviewed on June 10, 2004Out of nowhere there appeared a floating island. Four superhuman beings of evil claimed it as their domain. Wielding the powers of Destruction, Chaos, Death, and Terror, they sought to throw the earth into darkness. The Sinistrals, they were called; armies mustered against them, nations allied to save the world from their iron grasp. And yet none succeeded. Finally, four of the world's most renowned warriors were called on to bring down the island. Lead by Maxim, a red-haired warrior wielding th... |
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Super Mario Bros. 2 review (NES)Reviewed on June 10, 2004You probably know the story now. What we Americans know as Super Mario Bros. 2 - that weird, quirky platformer no one quite knew what to make of back then - was never meant to be a Mario game. It is the illegitimate child of Doki Doki Panic, an odd Japanese platformer, and the Mario universe. Fearful that the frightfully difficult Japanese SMB2 will turn away American gamers, Nintendo had grabbed this little game, forcibly inserted Mario and friends, and released it upon unwitting America... |
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Silent Hill 2 review (PS2)Reviewed on June 09, 2004I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from unshakable when it comes to horror games. Many of them simply scare me senseless, to the point where I can't even bring myself to pick up the controller when it's dark. The Silent Hill series, with its static-laden ambiance and creepily orchestrated apparitions, is probably chief among them. It's stretched a number of games, ranging from the first where you had to track down your daughter, to the third which basically flip-flopped the roles. Th... |
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Alundra review (PSX)Reviewed on June 09, 2004On the surface, things seemed pretty good in the regions surrounding the quaint village of Inoa. Sure, the fell demon Melzas had been a threat, but he was now trapped in a submerged castle and seemingly out of the picture. |
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Metroid II: Return of Samus review (GB)Reviewed on June 08, 2004Something moved. What was that noise? Is something coming? I don't feel too safe walking down this dank corridor ..... wait, how many missiles do I have? Do I have enough? I haven't found a missile supplement in a while ..... should I keep going? Will a Metroid pop out at me? Do I really have enough missiles? Is it worth it to run back to the ship and recharge, or should I just blast a few enemies and hope for a few refills? What if oh God a Metroid AHHHHHH....... |
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Street Fighter 2010 review (NES)Reviewed on June 08, 2004I'd hate to be a Ken fan. Capcom can wedge new chapters into the Street Fighter timeline all it wants, but there can be no reversing the series' ultimate conclusion. When the subject of best character comes up among enthusiasts, and the Ken crowd starts in with legends of fire-laced uppercuts, the other side has a kill-all in their arsenal; a point of argument so strong that once this bomb has been unloaded, the Ken fans will have no choice but to be quiet. In the future, Ken Masters will sport ... |
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P.N.03 review (GCN)Reviewed on June 07, 2004It must be interesting to work for Capcom. Imagine, say, you were serving lunch. Chances are you get paid more for serving multiple customers at a time. Throw the customers their bread roll, and get bonus style points if you can bounce it off their heads. Perhaps the accounts department is in on the act. Mere double-entry book-keeping in Capcom offices is probably frowned upon. Enter things in 5 ledgers and earn extra pay! Or something like that. |
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Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master review (GEN)Reviewed on June 04, 2004With Shinobi III, a new evil has reared its head, demanding of Joe more side-scrolling, projectile-hurling escapades! You and Joe both reminisce, silently cognizant of the style and thunder of his previous path to bloody revenge (forget the offbeat Shadow Dancer for the moment). The Revenge of Shinobi in fact, was the game that cemented his status as hero extraordinaire. That mission had been diabolical in its conception, and his response to its dangers was legendary. Would this latest challenge prove as worthy? Would he? |
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Resident Evil 3: Nemesis review (GCN)Reviewed on June 04, 2004As a quality series presses on from sequel to sequel, one of two things tend to happen. Either the series reaches stagnation, each installment a regurgitation of past success, or the series builds an elaborate foundation for future innovation and diversification. To Capcom's credit and fans' delight, Resident Evil falls into the latter type, and the third of the series – Nemesis – introduces its own fresh concept (later pilfered by Nintendo in Metroid Fusion and by Capcom themsel... |
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Disney's Aladdin review (GEN)Reviewed on June 03, 2004Aladdin, at least in this Genesis incarnation, is well-known for being splendidly animated, for recalling the film marvelously, and for being a wholehearted sensory delight. Now surely the film was great -- many of my generation feel a twinge of nostalgia at the mere mention of the grandstanding blue Genie or the audacious mischief of Jafar. Our hearts skip a beat when you mention the touching tableau of the starveling street urchin canoodling with the gorgeous princess upon his magic car... |
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Mr. Driller review (DC)Reviewed on June 02, 2004I never liked to play with plain blocks as a kid, and I wasn't terribly destructive either, but knock me over if I don't find joy in the ways game developers allow the populace to bash endless computerized blocks together and make them vanish. Enter Mr. Driller, a cute little potholder-faced fellow that lets you do this in several ways and scenarios. But it's his first effort, so he doesn't have the concept of fun down pat, even though he looks like he could. |
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Rygar review (NES)Reviewed on June 02, 2004The fine (if somewhat barren) land of Argool had seen better days. The horrid and demonic Ligar, hidden within a floating castle, had sent his army of beasts and monsters throughout the land to steal hope from the general populace. Their only salvation — the reanimated body of a valiant warrior. |
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Hellfire review (GEN)Reviewed on June 01, 2004An enormous, glistening beam of amplified power decimating helpless henchmen after henchmen aptly named “Hellfire” wrecks and ravages all who stands in its way. At this point in your life, nothing can go wrong; you’re obliterating useless pawn after useless pawn with this catastrophic beam. But then suddenly, your ship is torn into bits of intergalactic debris by nothing more than a lone bullet. An abrupt, feral rage takes complete control and you end up breaking your controller (or keyboard) be... |
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Ceiling Zero review (APP2)Reviewed on June 01, 2004As I became slowly disenchanted with Space Invaders, I looked to the Apple for new variants. I just wanted to shoot things up, which was good, because many early Apple games offered nothing more. Ceiling Zero(CZ) had lots of shooting and, worse yet, a flowerpot-shaped boss ship that went FWEEE to start things off. I suppose there was no shortage of shooters that trapped you unfairly with random incidents, but when I was young, that didn't bother me. I wasn’t good enough for that to be a factor. |
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Bug Attack review (APP2)Reviewed on May 30, 2004Most everyone is out to get him. The few that aren’t spend their time cowering in the face of insect-shaped aliens that have made the realm their own. These fearsome foes come in one of three shapes: ants, caterpillars and butterflies. Each of them are capable of dropping knives the size of their own bodies, and the screen is often filled with waves of metal weapons you must dodge while you return pathetic pellets of your own. |
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I'm Gonna Serve You 4 review (PC)Reviewed on May 30, 2004Among fans of English bishoujo titles, Trabulance is a company known for producing less-than-serious fare. Stick some cute girls in cute uniforms, throw them in a novel environment, and let the sexual comedy ensue. At first, or even second, glance, Tsukushite Agechau 4 looks exactly the same. This impression is certainly supported by the opening theme, a cheerful J-pop tune playing over a movie that immediately focuses on the girls’ obvious physical endowments. It leads the player t... |
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Virgin Roster ~Shukketsubo~ review (PC)Reviewed on May 30, 2004You should hate this game; it glorifies the type of brutality that society shuns. Virgin Roster ~Shukketsubo~ is a game about rape. More accurately, it’s about one man’s damnable quest to control, humiliate, violate, and destroy any suitable woman he encounters. While the game possesses a theme that will be reprehensible to most, it can tempt many to play because of its visually titillating sex scenes, in particular the ones that feature animation. Virgin Roster is a conundrum;... |
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Tsuki ~Possession~ review (PC)Reviewed on May 30, 2004Despite the fact that only a handful of their games have reached the English speaking market, ZyX has certainly shown they’re not afraid to explore the darker recesses of sexual desire. One of their first translated titles was the condemnable Ring Out, which follows a young girl’s descent into a world of sexual slavery. More recently came the release of Virgin Roster, a title about a rapist prowling a high school. Tsuki ~Possession~ is cut from the same pattern, cho... |
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Sesame Street: 123 review (NES)Reviewed on May 29, 2004None of this is rocket science, and none of it is meant to be. The concern I have is that even the most ‘difficult’ of these can be completed with enough guesses. Completed games don't necessarily mean your kids have learned a single thing. I don’t really see how this could be a solid educational tool, and it’s definitely not fun. Even small children will get sick of it within a few minutes. |
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