Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Hillsfar review (NES) Reviewed on July 12, 2004 It certainly doesn’t skimp on the seemingly endless parade of fetch quests (“retrieve this rare spell component for me,” “rescue the princess,” “find my pantaloons,” etc) that lead you to seek out a dreary maze somewhere and open every treasure chest in sight until you discover some halfhearted clue . . . that sends you off looking for another dreary maze.
	E.V.O.: The Search for Eden review (SNES) Reviewed on July 11, 2004 E.V.O was a bizarre and original SNES game that mixed elements from an RPG with that of action platform game, adding it’s own unique elements producing a very original game that was interesting to play through and also providing new features that most gamers hadn’t experienced before. The game also had a very strange storyline that absorbed various ideas from the story of Creation and the Charles Darwin theory of evolution. Two theories of life that most people tend to believe in and also disp...
	Ghosts 'N Goblins review (NES) Reviewed on July 10, 2004 It’s said that whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. But Ghosts ‘n Goblins undresses that reassuring bromide conclusively: this NES cart can hardly kill you, but is nonetheless thoroughly debilitating.
	NHL '98 review (PSX) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 There comes a time in every reviewers life when he has to defy common sense, shut down a large portion of his brain and dive into the neon trash-can that is franchise sports. EA Sports is generally the main offender, churning out the same mindless rubbish year after year, and it just so happens that they are behind the NHL hockey series! NHL ’98 was my introduction to the sleazy world of fast-paced action and 12-month updates, and I can’t see my intrigue stretching much further after what I’ve w...
	God of Thunder review (PC) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 Usually the excitement that surrounds a free game lasts from the time the download starts, to the time the game actually begins. It certainly may be a big buzz to be able to experience a game for the price of nothing, but eventually reality sinks in and you realise that there is a reason why the game is considered valueless. God of Thunder is an exception, split into three parts, and each individual section offering some great gaming, its value as a giver of entertainment far outreaches its non-...
	3D Movie Maker review (PC) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 If you're the kind who just loves getting out there and making your own home movies, but find your scope limited by the low-quality of your mummy's camcorder, then Microsoft may just have the right little tool for you! What they've given us access to is 3D Movie Maker, a simple but effective program that can easily convey that maelstrom of ideas floating about in that (beautiful) head of yours. Hosted by a purple, Scottish directorial type named McZee (most likely an off-shoot from the Barney fa...
	Kirby's Dream Land 2 review (GB) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 “Kirby! Your arch-enemy King Dedede has been possessed! You must save him!”
	Super Mario Advance review (GBA) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 Super Mario Advance, a dual Mario game, has crashed onto the fledgling Game Boy Advance system with a moderate amount of style. This cartridge contains two old ''classics'', Super Mario Bros. 2 and the absolutely ancient Mario Bros. These two games meld together to make a gaming experience that is at times endearing, but ultimately unfulfilling.
	Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone review (GBA) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 Yet another eerie hallway looms in front of you. You creep down it - ever so slowly - daring not to make a noise. Hideous gargoyles and grotesque oil paintings line the walls, making you wish you hadn’t left your invisibility cloak tucked away in the sock drawer. It’s quiet...too quiet. You can’t hear a thing above the frantic racing of your heartbeat, its rhythmic pounding even managing to drown out the chattering of your teeth. You extend a cold, clammy hand and grasp the doorknob in front of ...
	Syphon Filter 3 review (PSX) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 Rarely in the history of gaming has there been a more apt name for a particular game's character than Gabriel Logan. The star of the Syphon Filter franchise can indeed flit around any given landscape with the grace and agility of an archangel and, when the time comes, emerge from the wilderness and tear his unsuspecting opponents opponents apart with the ferocity of a wolverine. The first two Syphon Filter outings were major successes due largely to this intuitive combination of espionage and ac...
	Final Fantasy VIII review (PSX) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 As the sun sets and dusk approaches, the two tribes draw near. They're shouting, brandishing weapons, and waving silk banners of all kinds of colours. As they get closer the din rises, and insults that would strip paint off a wall are hurled backwards and forwards. Blood is going to be spilt.
	Mortal Kombat II review (GEN) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 I'm not here to lambast Mortal Kombat II for its ridiculous interpretations of the laws of physics. Some might call it nitpicking, if I were to rebuke the game for the way it's characters move as if underwater, throwing themselves around the combat arena with careless abandon, lazily sticking a leg out behind them in a vain attempt to undo their opponents. Surely it would be unjust if I were to classify MKII on the way the shadows of the combatants lift off the ground on occasion, and constantly...
	Batman Returns review (GEN) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 The Gotham City I know is a source of mystery and wonderment. It’s an eclectic amalgamation of monolithic skyscrapers, scraping the heavens with their neon trappings; and shadowy alleys, where the hefty criminal element lurks. Countless lights punctuate the night sky – giving the desolate streets a highly misleading impression of safety - but one punctuates harder than a dozen consecutive exclamation marks. It’s a majestic motif, emblazoning itself powerfully against the stars, calling the city’...
	Conker's Bad Fur Day review (N64) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 Yes, you can laugh as Conker the Squirrel lurches on-screen and slices the hapless 64 logo in half. You can laugh your silly little brains out for all I care. But should you not also stop and use those shrivelled brains to think for a moment? Yes you jolly well should, ignoramus! That poor logo is just as much a motif – a telling symbol of the game to come – as it is a comic device, and don’t you forget it. Conker’s Bad Fur Day is the Norman Bates of video games. It is a game full of halves and ...
	Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II review (GCN) Reviewed on July 09, 2004 MMORPG's seem to be on the rise, except on the Gamecube. However, fear not, for there is one game that IS online. Whether or not it is worth your hard earned(or begged)cash, remains to be seen.
	Everything or Nothing review (PS2) Reviewed on July 08, 2004 Imagine yourself in the middle of a foreign country, with no allies within hundreds of miles and enemy troops surrounding you on all sides. Now imagine these enemy troops are about to complete the purchase of a nuclear suitcase bomb right in front of you. What do you do?
	Mega Man 2 review (NES) Reviewed on July 08, 2004 By far the most popular game in the original Mega Man series, this is probably the most beloved of them all. Many deem it to have the best gameplay, greatest music, etc. I am one of those who disagree with that. Mega Man 2 is probably one of the better games in the series, although it's definitely not the best there is.
	Nightshade review (PS2) Reviewed on July 08, 2004 Think how fun it would feel to ride along trucks moving down a freeway, slashing at ninjas and running along the sides of the vehicles before leaping to another as the previous one bursts into flames behind you. Better yet, envision the crumbling remains of a massive suspension bridge, filled with gaps and flying enemies you must leapfrog across in order to survive. The game is filled with moments like this, and more. Often, they’re every bit as thrilling as they sound.
	Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest review (SNES) Reviewed on July 07, 2004 Final Fantasy Mystic Quest can best be described as a slap to the face of any American fan of role-playing games. Commonly referred to as an RPG for beginners, this SNES blunder seems to be less of a tutorial game and more of an insult to a player’s intelligence.
	Ring Out review (PC) Reviewed on July 06, 2004 Even by the torturous standards of most pervoramas, RingOut is about as erotic as a doorstop. Not a particularly attractive doorstop, mind you, but a plain old wooden one. With a rusty nail sticking out of it.

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