Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Pac-Pix review (DS) Reviewed on March 22, 2005 Pac-Pix is gameplay in its most pure of forms. A simple, expressive challenge that hides its hidden depth under a welcoming exterior of warm nostalgia and high tech cool. The graphics while simplistic are mostly a product of your own hand, a personal montage of Pac designs proving to be as endearing as any Namco may have produced.
	NARC review (NES) Reviewed on March 22, 2005 As lowly officers working in narcotics, you’re given the objective to take a stroll through the shady part of town and basically eliminate any scumbags that happen to be residing there. The task won’t be easy; you’ll have to confront dealers, addicts, killer clowns, and more as you struggle to make the streets a safer place for everyday citizens. You’re also likely going to be outnumbered, and your only allies will be your machine gun, rocket launcher, and brightly-colored riot gear.
	Karaoke Revolution Vol. 2 review (PS2) Reviewed on March 21, 2005 After several repeated plays of the various songs in the original Karaoke Revolution, it still hardly loses any of its charm. Practically a timeless classic, that one was. Still, deep down in our heart of hearts, the lot of us yearned for more. More songs to sing, and more ways to show that we got soul.
	Mecarobot Golf review (SNES) Reviewed on March 21, 2005 There are some games where, when you buy 'em, you know they're going to be bad. Mecarobot Golf for the SNES is one of those. I knew I was buying a clunker, but I expected to get at least a dash of fun for my $2.99. I was wrong.
	Devil May Cry review (PS2) Reviewed on March 21, 2005 A legend states that two millennia ago, a demon knight named Sparda sought the right path and rebelled against the Devil to save the human world from hell on Earth. Two thousand years later, a demonic man named Dante unearths clues that reveal an attempt by the Devil to resurrect his rule. Somewhere within Dante lies ancient demon blood, the key to defeating the dark realm. The fate of the world now rests in Dante's hands. If he succeeds, the Devil May Cry.
	Super Mario Land review (GB) Reviewed on March 20, 2005 Super Mario Land was one of the launch titles for the Gameboy and alongside Tetris, it may be the best game that the system has to offer. It took the basic Mario formula from the original NES classic, Super Mario Bros and added a few new ingredients to make it a little different from its bigger brother. It plucked our heroic plumber from the Mushroom kingdom, his usual base for his adventures and dropped him in the Sasaraland. Here, our chubby plumber was out to rescue Princess Daisy (What h...
	Rival Turf! review (SNES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 The music is muffled, the graphics are blurry, and the animation is just awful. The action starts out on the streets of L.A. with Oozie murdering packs of identical masked Mexican wrestlers (they must be part of the Villano family). I don't care how manly the concept of powerbombing scrawny gang members is — with its three frames, this just looks BAD.
	Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Heroes of the Lance review (NES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 You might have hoped that this game gets its dismal reputation because of poor graphics, the complexities of the AD&D rules, or something equally asinine. Hope is the denial of reality.
	Contra review (NES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 Contra’s weapons don’t blow their loads in retarded, premature fashion as is the case with other games in the genre. These weapons kill hard and die harder. The Laser rips through anything in its path, the Machine gun eats up alien troops like Fruit Loops, to say nothing of the Spread. The Spread? you query, clearly curious. The spread cuts swaths through hopeless, hapless oncomers.
	Rockman & Forte review (SNES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 RockMan and Forte is sort of an anomaly in the vast field of Mega Man games. Released in 1998 for the Super Famicom, this game really doesn’t fit cleanly into the Blue Bomber’s initial series.
	The Sagara Family review (PC) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 Learning about each of the Sagara women really does become an enticing mystery, made all the sweeter by the occasional chance to fool around with one under the sheets, or on the couch in the front room, or in the bathtub. Even after you’ve finished one trip through, it can be fun and rewarding to play through again (and again) because just a simple choice here or there can affect so much.
	Super Morph review (SNES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 Some games should only leave the drawing board on account of unique ideas.
	Metal Slug Advance review (GBA) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 MSA's primary flaw is that it's conspicuously devoid of the heroic intensity that stirred fans of the original so. On a mechanical level, it's visibly Metal Slug; your pistol-packing grenade-lobbing hero storms through the side-scrolling levels in the expected fashion, terminating the screaming infantrymen and adorable artillery with regulatory-extreme levels of prejudice. And yet the battles utterly fail to excite. What's to blame?
	Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic review (XBX) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 As you walk down the sand-swept streets of Tatooine, you and your party come across a widow desperately trying to sell the only possession she has left. She needs the money to get herself and her kids off the planet to somewhere nicer. Tatooine isn’t a nice place. As you talk with her, you can decide what you want to do. Touched by her story, you might want to buy the item from her, and if you’re feeling exceptionally generous, you can give her more. It’s only 500 credits, and in your journey, y...
	Final Fantasy X-2 review (PS2) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Do you remember the music of the early nineties? It featured a wave of experimental genres and new hybrids, at least compared to the music of the eighties. From Seattle, the raw sound of Nirvana refined the rougher edges of punk, paving the way for later acts such as Green Day, which itself was a hybrid of British punk and “new” alternative. The Black Crowes tried a new fusion of Southern blues with rock and roll. Rage Against the Machine combined political protest lyrics with an aggressive ...
	Warrior of Rome review (GEN) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Julius Caesar was many things: a military leader, a writer, and a dictator. He also accomplished such things as being victorious in a number of battles and conquered a lot of countries. And then there was his death where he was stabbed a bijillion times. Even long after his demise, he is still being remembered through memorabilia such as his own coins, statues, and even movies. Which brings me to this strategy game, Warrior of Rome. Based on the events in 48 B.C. where he fights through t...
	Valkyrie no Bouken: Toki no Kagi Densetsu review (NES) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Maybe I should just cut my losses and surrender. After all, the only reason I’m continuing in my attempt to conquer Namco’s astoundingly bad Famicom title Legend of Valkyrie is because I simply cannot accept defeat. But I feel a little more of my sanity slip away every time I sit down and force myself to attempt making heads or tails out of this pathetic precursor to The Legend of Zelda.
	Final Fantasy X review (PS2) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Entries of the Final Fantasy series have always been memorable classics of one sort or another. Since the beginning, each of the Final Fantasy games were designed to be nothing less than epic quests for a group of heroes to defeat evil and save the world. (I suppose that’s the appeal of the whole series, really, as anyone can share in the fantasy of being a hero.) Lately, for better or worse, the games have placed a greater emphasis on telling a complex and engaging story. Final Fantasy X is...
	Hitomi: My Stepsister review (PC) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 And so it is that I should discuss the sex scenes. After all, they’re your reward for playing. You’re certainly not working at the project to increase your reflexes. And because it’s impossible to not finish the game (the most taxing project is to decide which of the two options will lead to the sex scene you most want or haven’t seen before), the only satisfaction comes from the nudity.
	Last Battle review (GEN) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 Aarzak is the confident sort of lone wolf hero, but not from bullheaded arrogance. Rather, he knows that he will win. How could he possibly know this? Because, before the game begins, Sega scrolls the entire plot — beginning, middle, and end! — across the screen. Because of Sega's omniscient benevolence, our mighty hero will never be caught unawares in his battle against the Tyrannical Triumvirate of G!

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