Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Contra review (NES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 Contra’s weapons don’t blow their loads in retarded, premature fashion as is the case with other games in the genre. These weapons kill hard and die harder. The Laser rips through anything in its path, the Machine gun eats up alien troops like Fruit Loops, to say nothing of the Spread. The Spread? you query, clearly curious. The spread cuts swaths through hopeless, hapless oncomers.
	Rockman & Forte review (SNES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 RockMan and Forte is sort of an anomaly in the vast field of Mega Man games. Released in 1998 for the Super Famicom, this game really doesn’t fit cleanly into the Blue Bomber’s initial series.
	The Sagara Family review (PC) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 Learning about each of the Sagara women really does become an enticing mystery, made all the sweeter by the occasional chance to fool around with one under the sheets, or on the couch in the front room, or in the bathtub. Even after you’ve finished one trip through, it can be fun and rewarding to play through again (and again) because just a simple choice here or there can affect so much.
	Super Morph review (SNES) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 Some games should only leave the drawing board on account of unique ideas.
	Metal Slug Advance review (GBA) Reviewed on March 19, 2005 MSA's primary flaw is that it's conspicuously devoid of the heroic intensity that stirred fans of the original so. On a mechanical level, it's visibly Metal Slug; your pistol-packing grenade-lobbing hero storms through the side-scrolling levels in the expected fashion, terminating the screaming infantrymen and adorable artillery with regulatory-extreme levels of prejudice. And yet the battles utterly fail to excite. What's to blame?
	Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic review (XBX) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 As you walk down the sand-swept streets of Tatooine, you and your party come across a widow desperately trying to sell the only possession she has left. She needs the money to get herself and her kids off the planet to somewhere nicer. Tatooine isn’t a nice place. As you talk with her, you can decide what you want to do. Touched by her story, you might want to buy the item from her, and if you’re feeling exceptionally generous, you can give her more. It’s only 500 credits, and in your journey, y...
	Final Fantasy X-2 review (PS2) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Do you remember the music of the early nineties? It featured a wave of experimental genres and new hybrids, at least compared to the music of the eighties. From Seattle, the raw sound of Nirvana refined the rougher edges of punk, paving the way for later acts such as Green Day, which itself was a hybrid of British punk and “new” alternative. The Black Crowes tried a new fusion of Southern blues with rock and roll. Rage Against the Machine combined political protest lyrics with an aggressive ...
	Warrior of Rome review (GEN) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Julius Caesar was many things: a military leader, a writer, and a dictator. He also accomplished such things as being victorious in a number of battles and conquered a lot of countries. And then there was his death where he was stabbed a bijillion times. Even long after his demise, he is still being remembered through memorabilia such as his own coins, statues, and even movies. Which brings me to this strategy game, Warrior of Rome. Based on the events in 48 B.C. where he fights through t...
	Valkyrie no Bouken: Toki no Kagi Densetsu review (NES) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Maybe I should just cut my losses and surrender. After all, the only reason I’m continuing in my attempt to conquer Namco’s astoundingly bad Famicom title Legend of Valkyrie is because I simply cannot accept defeat. But I feel a little more of my sanity slip away every time I sit down and force myself to attempt making heads or tails out of this pathetic precursor to The Legend of Zelda.
	Final Fantasy X review (PS2) Reviewed on March 18, 2005 Entries of the Final Fantasy series have always been memorable classics of one sort or another. Since the beginning, each of the Final Fantasy games were designed to be nothing less than epic quests for a group of heroes to defeat evil and save the world. (I suppose that’s the appeal of the whole series, really, as anyone can share in the fantasy of being a hero.) Lately, for better or worse, the games have placed a greater emphasis on telling a complex and engaging story. Final Fantasy X is...
	Hitomi: My Stepsister review (PC) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 And so it is that I should discuss the sex scenes. After all, they’re your reward for playing. You’re certainly not working at the project to increase your reflexes. And because it’s impossible to not finish the game (the most taxing project is to decide which of the two options will lead to the sex scene you most want or haven’t seen before), the only satisfaction comes from the nudity.
	Last Battle review (GEN) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 Aarzak is the confident sort of lone wolf hero, but not from bullheaded arrogance. Rather, he knows that he will win. How could he possibly know this? Because, before the game begins, Sega scrolls the entire plot — beginning, middle, and end! — across the screen. Because of Sega's omniscient benevolence, our mighty hero will never be caught unawares in his battle against the Tyrannical Triumvirate of G!
	Dynamite Dux review (SMS) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 Dynamite Dux was a fun, yet extremely obscure game that was released in the arcades in 1989. A cute cuddly-looking platform/beat-me-up that set out to capture the hearts and minds of arcade gamers everywhere but failed miserably. It is now a game long forgotten (despite it being barely noticed by anyone in the first place) now cast in the pile of games that didn’t quite get the attention that they sought along with other games such as “Snow Bros” and “Golden Axe warrior.” It is a shame that Dyna...
	Dynamite Dux review (ARC) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 Dynamite Dux may be severely underrated but it’s still one of the quirkiest and original beat-em-ups I’ve played in a long time. Instead of using the standard scheme of a city being overrun by crime or a big axe being stolen, it does things a little differently. You play a duck called Bin, a character who was probably designed to be SEGA’s mascot, judging by his red sneakers and blue skin who has to punch, kick and shoot his way through an army of bizarre enemies. It was an early release for ...
	X-COM: UFO Defense review (PC) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 The forever-set benchmark of Turn Based Strategy
	Project: Snowblind review (XBX) Reviewed on March 17, 2005 Project: Snowblind
	Sonic the Hedgehog review (GEN) Reviewed on March 16, 2005 We all know the history of Sega vs. Nintendo. Nintendo probably had at least an 80% share of the market, and it was hard to imagine a company doing better than becoming Pepsi to Nintendo’s Coca-Cola. So here comes Sega with its version of a mascot that could presumably outrun the fastest cheetah, Speedy Gonzales, and of course, Mario.
	WarioWare: Touched! review (DS) Reviewed on March 16, 2005 Wario Ware Touched!
	Need for Speed Underground: Rivals review (PSP) Reviewed on March 15, 2005 Such feelings of lost opportunity don't stop there, though admittedly the worst is now behind us. Charging forward we look to the career modes, hoping to find a reason that justifies this charade. And in a way, this is where Rivals actually manages to surpass Ridge Racers, not in the short term rush but in the long, drawn out haul.
	Sega Ages: Golden Axe review (PS2) Reviewed on March 15, 2005 Although this new 3D Tyris isn't drawn quite as sexily as she used to be, the characters all looked attractive... until I saw them up close during their really lame magic spell sequences. As the camera zoomed in, I could see how few polygons were actually used to create the Amazon's pointy face. From then on, the illusion was shattered; even when the camera pulled back out, it was easy to spot the rough edges and graphical flaws because I knew they were there.

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