Review Archives (All Reviews)
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Super Off Road review (SNES)Reviewed on May 05, 2005Whereas playing alone gets old quickly, it’s hard to tire of the multi-player option. The true fun here comes from consistently finishing just ahead of your human opponent, then talking trash as he can barely afford any upgrades in the garage and you’re busy buying expensive boosts for your motor. |
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Shining in the Darkness review (GEN)Reviewed on May 05, 2005Venture deeper, and your numerous skirmishes are the least of your worries. Pitfalls drop you gleefully to levels below; trick walls hide valuable chests and artefacts vital for your continuation; rotating floor-disks cunningly hidden from your view dizzily spin you on the spot when trod upon, disorientating and confusing the unwary. |
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WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW review (PS2)Reviewed on May 05, 2005My previously stated annoyances about this review aside, Smackdown Vs. Raw reminds us that every yearly franchise is under constant scrutiny. As Triple H told Goldberg “It’s easy to get to the top. It’s hard to stay there.” While producing likeable, fresh sequels annually may seem like a daunting task, THQ does it with the poise and confidence befitting a pro. |
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Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes review (GCN)Reviewed on May 04, 2005With the exception of a crate here and a computer there, not a single aspect of the original's outdated design has been altered; you can execute far more complex maneuvers now than you could during MGS1 Snake's hide-and-seek antics, but does it matter? |
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Sonic Mega Collection Plus review (PS2)Reviewed on May 04, 2005The hit games are as wonderful as I remember them being, featuring the speedy blue rodent ripping through Green Hill, Labyrinth, Oil Ocean, and Angel Island Zones, to name a few. |
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Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas review (PS2)Reviewed on May 04, 2005How many of you out there enjoy a good kill’n? I know I do. In my spare time, I like to run people over, steal fighters from military bases to wreak havoc, and go hooker beat’n. Of course, if I really did this stuff I’d probably be strapped to a table getting a tube put in my arm. But, thankfully, that’s where Grand Theft Auto San Andreas comes in. Now you can enjoy all the fun of being a homicidal maniac without worrying about the long dirt nap. |
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Shadow of Rome review (PS2)Reviewed on May 04, 2005Perhaps the most violent time in existence has found a new home. Not in the history book but in a digitized, pixel form. Shadow of Rome has no qualms about throwing you to the lions and applauding as you’re devoured. If you strain your body to the utter limits, leave all others bleeding and scrounging for their body parts, the crowd could not be happier. And if you fall victim to one of the other combatants whose only goal is the same as yours—survival—the crowd… couldn’t be happier. |
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Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls review (GBA)Reviewed on May 03, 2005I’ve been writing reviews only for the games I like, but this is real life and if I really want to do this for a living then I am going to have to come to terms with the hard fact that I will end up doing reviews for games I hate as well. If you ever had any respect for me, you're going to lose it here. I guarantee I’m going to get at least one thread that says “How dare you call Dawn Of Souls something that should have stayed buried in the past.” Yes, I said Dawn Of Souls--the GBA’s remake of F... |
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Phantasy Star IV review (GEN)Reviewed on May 03, 2005I didn’t want to play Phantasy Star IV when it first came out. Rumors had spread that this was the end of the series, and I heard the same from my friends. “So who wants to watch the end of an epic?” I asked myself. But as soon as I dismissed the heavy feeling in my heart and mourned my loss I finally picked it up, ready to say goodbye the only way I knew how--play the hell out of it. |
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BloodRayne 2 review (PS2)Reviewed on May 02, 2005Bloodrayne has a formula that works. Who is going to complain about a busty red head in tight leather chopping up nazi’s? Most of us will never admit it, but that’s why we played the game in the first place. It’s hard to deny, though, that a very decent game was buried underneath a superficial shell. Let’s admit it--Bloodrayne is attractive, even for pixels. She’s mouthy, she’s tough and she doesn’t have a problem using guns. I brought that up for one reason- I want to get past it and focus on t... |
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Lemmings review (PC)Reviewed on May 02, 2005Lemmings aren’t stupid. They don’t really commit mass suicides and jump off cliffs into the merciless sea. In fact, the poor souls usually bite off more than they can chew by swimming across water that is excessively deep for them. They migrate in large groups and march into the water, hoping to migrate to a new and better home. Unfortunately, all they get is death. Although, this is commonly seen as suicide it is actually just plain stupidity. Thanks goodness that Psygnosis and DMA decided ... |
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Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes review (GCN)Reviewed on May 02, 2005Realization of the importance of plot in games took another giant step when Konami released it’s best-selling Metal Gear Solid for the PlayStation. In the years before, storylines had been evolving slowly, getting it’s first big boost with the high sales of Final Fantasy VII, but Metal Gear Solid is what truly brought in-depth plots out of the ghetto to make a mark on the gaming world. |
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Welcome to Pia Carrot!! review (PCFX)Reviewed on May 01, 2005Nice man that he is, Yu's father offered his son an out of slaving the summer away at the Pia Carrot restaurant; a bit of a wager, if you will. "Earn high grades... and you're free to do whatever you want. I'll even pay for it." In this case, "whatever Yu wants" meant frolicking across summertime beaches chasing after bikini-clad vixens. |
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Nintendogs: Chihuahua & Friends review (DS)Reviewed on May 01, 2005Even still, Nintendogs is a winner. It's a unique piece of entertainment that opens up the medium far beyond the usual crowd of casual gamers that fill out our ranks. Be it your sister who wants a dog but is sadly allergic to your mother who simply finds such a concept oddly fascinating, the mass market appeal of Nintendo's latest creation is certainly without equal. |
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Sunset Riders review (SNES)Reviewed on April 30, 2005SR humors us, and tells us lies. In chronological order, the first lie is that in the Old West, there were cowboys named Bob. I know one thing: Bob is not a cowboy. Bobs are office productivity consultants. Bobs aren’t gun-wielding lawmen. |
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Looney Tunes: Space Race review (DC)Reviewed on April 30, 2005The game depends too much on those gag items for its own good. There are moments where things get downright frantic and every racer seems to be throwing down anvils and storm clouds like they’re going out of style. Racing jets are piling up everywhere and flying off the edge, and really it’s either a total blast (because you’re surviving) or it’s frustrating (because you’re not). It seems there are no in-betweens. |
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Kiaidan 00 review (TGCD)Reviewed on April 30, 2005Blow off the rear end of a war cruiser to reveal a tentacled skull. After you've sent gouts of fire into its mouth, the skull transforms into a trident-wielding, humanoid robot. Each boss has no shortage of attacks; this Poseidon wannabe can freeze you in place, send icy waves rippling across the ground, summon a meteor storm, or simply stab you in your big blue face. |
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Ai Cho Aniki review (TGCD)Reviewed on April 29, 2005The first thing that you’re going to notice about this game, and this is neither good or bad but merely a fact, is that it’s full of naked men. |
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Darwin 4081 review (GEN)Reviewed on April 29, 2005Basic Darwin involves shooting down ugly hordes of oddly coloured butterfly things, worms, and scores of other foes that resemble random broken bits of plastic left at the bottom of a child's toy box. You simply won't know what to make of this stuff. |
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Dungeons & Dragons: Warriors of the Eternal Sun review (GEN)Reviewed on April 29, 2005One day, as the human army was defending the castle against a goblin attack, a large and unpleasant-looking vortex appeared out of nowhere engulfed the castle and its people. When the humans wake up, they find themselves in a land of perpetual daylight, full of bloodthirsty monsters and the foul stench of evil. The good news is that the goblins are nowhere to be found. But the bad news is, whatever place the castle has been transported to appears to be located at the bottom of a valley surround... |
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