Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Armed and Dangerous review (PC) Reviewed on July 18, 2005 It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that game plots have evolved over the years. Twenty years ago most plots were as simple as save the princess, but today we have to put up with several twists, romance, tons of dialogue, CG sequences, and more. They also tend to be more serious. I remember playing Earthworm Jim and having to launch cows, fight lawyers, and enter an area known as “Buttville”. I also vividly recall playing The Lost Vikings and hearing the three goofballs c...
	Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance review (GBA) Reviewed on July 18, 2005 Robots, thousands of them were gathering in the middle of a secluded bit of desert out in Arizona. I was hiding behind a cactus, watching them. The Robots were gathering and rallying for the soon to be invasion of Phoenix, several thousand humans, aware of the Robots assemblage, began to march towards them screaming curses and battle cries. The Robots became aware of their presence and began to assemble for combat. I braced myself for the worst. The humans were outnumbered 50-1. It would be a...
	Animal Crossing review (GCN) Reviewed on July 17, 2005 Videogames can take up your time. They can take a minute, an hour, a day…possibly a month. Usually this is an addictive game, possibly a game that will keep your attention day in and day out. Your eyes glued to the screen waiting for something to happen. Just a game that will keep you entertained, and few games of this kind come out rarely. That’s why you’ve got to keep your eyes open – Animal Crossing is waiting at the shelves.
	Doom 3 review (XBX) Reviewed on July 17, 2005 There comes a time in everyone’s gaming life that they allow curiosity take over their choices. They let the wildly erratic reviews of a game rest, and pick it up to simply look and see. That’s exactly what I did with Doom 3. I’ve read the reviews touting it as godsend, and I’ve read the ones labeling it a lifeless, banal piece of software. I’ve mashed my opinion of the game somewhere in between those two categories. There are some truly stunning moments that make me happy I spent...
	Yu Yu Hakusho: Ghost Files - Tournament Tactics review (GBA) Reviewed on July 16, 2005 Yu Yu Hakusho is an anime about action. Knock-down, drag-out, ball-punching, head-crunching, back-breaking action. So how is that raw fighting spirit translated into this video game? Why, by molding it into a tactical RPG lite of course. What results from these mismatched styles is a game that is too sedate for the show, exacerbated by a skimpy narrative that cannot sustain the redundant fray.
	Gibo: Stepmother's Sin review (PC) Reviewed on July 16, 2005 Gibo's art is all drawn quite nicely and the dialogue is translated with a bare minimum of grammatical errors. This is important because it's hard to take a game seriously when the translation is fraught with spelling mistakes and incorrect word usage.
	The Typing of the Dead review (DC) Reviewed on July 15, 2005 Sometimes, the word will be simple, something like ‘Montana’ or even a simple phrase like ‘Adios’ or ‘Game Over.’ Other times, you’ll be asked to type something ridiculous. It’s funny that whoever put the game together thought to include words like ‘mullet’ and discussions about bed-wetting and sexuality.
	Steamboy review (PS2) Reviewed on July 15, 2005 Steamboy doesn’t stray from the usual movie-licensed stigma, which is unfortunate considering how awesome not only the source material is, but how awesome the developer is. If you’ve ever played Drakengard or Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, you’ll know Cavia’s work. Personally I’m a huge fan; whether it’s creating a Dynasty Warriors style game with the best and most f’d up storyline ever (Drakengard), or taking the played out, routine concept of a 3rd person shooter and making it not ...
	Metal Gear Solid review (PSX) Reviewed on July 15, 2005 Stealth games – all the fun of sitting still, being quiet and generally trying to be as anti-social as possible. Metal Gear Solid’s token good guy, Solid Snake, certainly won’t be invited to any parties after infiltrating someone’s house, silently shooting everyone and stealing their plans for world domination (don’t deny it, everyone has them). But, if anyone can make a half-decent game from a genre which demands the player spend long periods of time doing very little, our anti-social he...
	Fantastic 4 review (PS2) Reviewed on July 14, 2005 I had no desire whatsoever to play the Fantastic Four video game. The movie looked dull and the comics are a bit too campy for my taste. But if I’ve learned one thing in the several years Marvel has spent trying to branch out, it’s that the company is multitalented. The game wandered into my collection by chance, but it was by choice that my hands were glued to the controller and I found myself unable to put it down until the very end. Marvel has once again proven that it can make great comics, ...
	Hydro Thunder review (DC) Reviewed on July 14, 2005 Yes, Hydro Thunder employs what some have described as the rubber-band sort of mentality. Here, though, it’s worse than ever. It doesn’t matter if you have the best time anyone has ever managed when playing the game. There’s about a 70% chance you’ll rank fourth or worse. That’s just how the game works. Completion times are irrelevant.
	Ys: The Oath in Felghana review (PC) Reviewed on July 14, 2005 As my mouth watered as I gazed at screenshots and salivated over the new Ys trailer on developer Falcom's website, I couldn't help but notice one thing; It looked remarkably similar to Ys III: Wanderers from Ys! Indeed, it did, and for good reason. Ys: The Oath in Felghana is not only a remake of the original Ys III, but a total overhaul, changing nearly everything but the music and storyline. However, as much as I'd like to say, "If you've played Ys III...
	Stella Deus: The Gate of Eternity review (PS2) Reviewed on July 13, 2005 Stella Deus offers some of the better — but less daring — small-scale strategy RPG gaming to be found on any system. Stella Deus purposely avoids Final Fantasy Tactics' insane level of character customization and Shining Force 3's flashy audiovisual sense, instead choosing to settle into its own comfortably safe niche.
	Ice Climber review (NES) Reviewed on July 13, 2005 I still fail to see why the general gaming population loves so many of these retro re-releases. I was looking through the “NES Classics” series (a.k.a the 'take advantage of our fan’s stupidity' series) and found the dreaded “Ice Climber” on the roster. Ice Climber was a bad game in 1983 so no matter how many times you try to repackage it and pimp it out today, it’s still going to suck. However, after the two Eskimos made their return in Super Smash Bros. Melee with new kick ass attacks and the ...
	Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean review (GCN) Reviewed on July 13, 2005 From the moment on I saw Baten Kaitos, I just couldn't wait for its release. The game looked so huge and epic. Finally, I got my hands on it, and played it twice in a row. Did it live up to my expectations? Almost.
	Still Life review (XBX) Reviewed on July 12, 2005 I use the term ‘playing’ rather loosely. Still Life doesn’t usually feel like a game. Instead, it’s like reading an interesting mystery novel but all of the pages are stuck together and you have to fight just to keep reading. Though you do control the protagonists directly, there’s not much to do with them but walk from place to place, talk to people and maybe solve some irritating puzzles along the way.
	Genji: Dawn of the Samurai review (PS2) Reviewed on July 10, 2005 Genji: Dawn of the Samurai is special for many reasons, the least of which is its gold foil packaging. Seen as Sony of Japan's response to the US developed God of War, eager gamers have declared it a visual masterpiece with all the sword swinging hallmarks of an instant classic. Personally however, I think it's spectacular. Plain and simple like, capital S if you're still not feeling it.
	Battle Raper II: The Game review (PC) Reviewed on July 09, 2005 Battle Raper 2 is about the far future of Earth, when a new breed of humans called ETERNALS have been created through genetic manipulation. There's some jibber jabber about paranormal phenomena and the symbol of God, which means Battle Raper 2 follows the standard "religion is deep" school of thought. It's a nice (but overdone) attempt by game creative staff Illusion to disguise how shallow the game really is.
	Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti review (NES) Reviewed on July 09, 2005 At first the explicit violence that Splatterhouse is best known for makes it seem like a pretty unlikely choice for an SD game, but it actually ends up being the best entry in the series.
	Half-Life 2 review (PC) Reviewed on July 09, 2005 Like Half-Life's Black Mesa, it's a place infused with an atmosphere and culture that you can only experience through microcosms. Even more so than VALVe's immortal debut FPS, Half-Life 2 is a single, seamless scripted journey that's not so much about where you're going as much as who you meet on the way. Sometimes, you get there in time to be a hero; others, you're too late, whether it's by seconds or years.

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