Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Duck Tales review (NES) Reviewed on August 16, 2005 When it all comes down to it, the 80s (and early 90s, I guess) were just so superior to the this strange new culture of today. Just look at all your Disney themed games today. How many of them are worth playing? Very few would be the best answer, and there aren’t too many folks excited about playing Donald Duck or Tarzan when they could be playing the multitude of other high quality games around. But back in the glory days of the NES, we didn’t have that problem. Disney games were actually *gasp...
	Sword of Vermilion review (GEN) Reviewed on August 16, 2005 Sword Of Vermilion is a rarity. Not because it flawlessly combines a sleek RPG style with an action-adventure scheme and not because it was nearly as massive a task as Phantasy Star II but because this monster of an RPG never quite got the recognition it deserved. Matter of fact, I don’t remember it getting any. Much like Shining Force, Lunar and Last Battle—all of which I’m a huge fan of—Sword of Vermilion stumbled into my collection by a chance encounter and a brief “back-box” reading. Though ...
	LandStalker review (GEN) Reviewed on August 14, 2005 Some games have it all. GTA has enough chaos and mayhem to make a life of crime fun. Shadow Hearts: Covenant has everything I look for in an RPG. And Landstalker…ooooh, Landstalker has everything that could possibly irritate me. But oddly enough, I can’t put it down most days. Maybe it’s my strong pride that won’t let me give up or maybe it’s the incredible fun factor wrapped in a “foot-stomping, edge clinging I’ve gotta make this jump I don’t want to climb up here again” annoying package.
	Taiko no Tatsujin Portable review (PSP) Reviewed on August 13, 2005 Under ideal circumstances, I doubt I would have given Taiko no Tatsujin Portable the time of day. Stripped of its hulking arcade cabinet and matching drum kits, it's easy to believe the resulting experience might be found lacking. The concept is so ludicrous in fact, one could also imagine a lone, Japanese coder committing seppu-ku after suggesting it over a ball rice and a bottle of sake.
	Metal Slug 3 review (XBX) Reviewed on August 13, 2005 Not only does Metal Slug 3 offer the player an outrageous run-n-gun experience, it also shows the player the harsh and depressing reality of war…well, not really. Unless you count giant crabs, zombies, mutated Venus flytraps and eels called Wanda as the reality of war. If you do, then Metal Slug 3 may be the most realistic war game you will ever play. On the other had, if you do think this, I recommend you visit a psychologist, or, better yet, wait for four years so I can give you a free...
	Star Fox Assault review (GCN) Reviewed on August 13, 2005 Imagine a universe with no Slippy Toad.
	Verytex review (GEN) Reviewed on August 11, 2005 For the most part, Verytex is an unremarkable game. The 1991 vertically-scrolling Asmik shooter for the Megadrive is unable to boast great graphics or innovative play. Its six levels are, for the most part, relatively easy, with only a couple of fun boss fights standing out in my head as noteworthy battles. In some areas, you’ll struggle to make out enemies or bullets against rapidly-scrolling backgrounds — a cardinal sin of the genre. All-in-all, this should have been an easy game for me...
	Jump Superstars review (DS) Reviewed on August 11, 2005 Reviewing Jump Superstars is like putting your manhood on the table and asking a jilted ex-lover to hold the knife: you can only close your eyes and hope for the best. Should the game be total and utter rubbish, my opinion stands to not only upset DS owners, but virtually every half-crazed-anime-fan on the face of this planet... and as far as horrifying prospects go, you'd best pass the knife.
	Mami Inoue: Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi review (TGCD) Reviewed on August 10, 2005 As you play this Super CD that uses chip music (except for one excruciatingly long and badly-photoshopped karaoke sequence), you get to do such exciting things as LOOK, TALK, and THINK. On one of the scripted adventure paths, you get to listen to your class's entire roll call from top to bottom. Then you enjoy the excitement of looking at the clock over and over to advance the "story", because staring at the clock is the ONLY way to make time pass.
	Critical Point review (PC) Reviewed on August 09, 2005 Old-skool otaku may wet themselves at the mention of the name Kenichi Matsuzaki. At least, Peach Princess hopes that's the case, as they proudly tout his writing contribution to classic mecha series like Mobile Suit Gundam and Macross. And this game, Critical Point, a futuristic sci-fi thriller with nary a giant robot to be found. After all, this is an adult title, so you'll probably want a partner made of real flesh and blood. Probably. For those interested in th...
	Resident Evil 4 review (GCN) Reviewed on August 09, 2005 A car rolls up onto a small dirt road located just outside a small village. A man, wielding a handgun, walks towards a small village house. Inside the home, he produces a photograph of a young girl and questions the villager. Almost immediately, the man is attacked by the villager who now holds an axe in his hand. After unsuccessfully commanding the axe man to freeze, the man neutralizes him on the spot. This is Resident Evil 4.
	Shining in the Darkness review (GEN) Reviewed on August 08, 2005 An early console roleplaying game, my time with Shining in the Darkness may cruelly reveal my age, but it was a founding game in my RPG history and the architect of all things Shining - one of the bigger and better-known serials and a jewel in SEGA's crown. Much as nostalgia attempts to lend me its rose-tinted specs in this case, I shall do what I can to remain objective -- as always, my concerned reader, as always.
	Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back review (A2600) Reviewed on August 08, 2005 Over the past handful of years, I’ve had to repress a cynical chuckle more than once. With the birth of the most recent Star Wars trilogy came a slew of video games designed to capitalize on the popularity of the revered movie franchise. As can be expected whenever consoles and computers try to recapture cinematic magic, the results often were less than stellar.
	We Love Katamari review (PS2) Reviewed on August 08, 2005 Initially, some may see Namco's decision to dub their release, "We Love Katamari", as an obvious attempt to fool thoughtless, Walmart shoppers. Part egocentric admission of self-confessed love, part marketing ploy from hell, the title's underhanded strategy is suspicious at best. It's lucky for us however, the revised moniker is anything but nefarious, and its carefully chosen wording has given players a glimpse of what is to come.
	Super Mario All-Stars review (SNES) Reviewed on August 07, 2005 Rock has the Beatles. Fantasy has Lord of the Rings. Cinema has Star Wars. They may not have been the first in their respective forms of entertainment, but they shattered all preconceptions when they arrived and forever changed the way these media were percieved. And surely, Mario deserves to stand in their midst, being the best selling series of all time and providing the very model of modern platformers. So what better way to honor this series than a Mario compilation involving the man in...
	Super Mario Bros. review (NES) Reviewed on August 07, 2005 According to those boring writing classes I had to take way back when, all essays should start with some introduction, some hook to get the reader interested. And yet, what can I say? You've heard it all already: 14 or so variations of the game that started Nintendo's dominance, a dozen or so appeals to nostalgia, 8 different methods of calling the game groundbreaking or revolutionary, 6 or so history lessons about the video game crash, and even one or two jokers comparing Mario to a certain d...
	Polarium review (DS) Reviewed on August 07, 2005 Scanning the local Gamestop, my eyes lazily rested on an interesting prospect. Everyone knows that puzzlers hold lofty standards on handheld gaming machines; every good portable needs an excellent pick-up-and-play title. Thus I briskly passed on the highly touted Meteos and took a somewhat risky stab at Polarium. Based on the fact that I’ve been playing it feverishly for the past three weeks, I’ll go out on a limb and say I got my money’s worth.
	Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo review (TGCD) Reviewed on August 06, 2005 Dracula X strikes a masterful balance between old-school Castlevania action and all that newfangled exploration that dominates the series today as surely as our hero strikes an oaken stake into some luckless bloodsucker’s heart.
	Drakengard review (PS2) Reviewed on August 06, 2005 Caim and his fire-breathing friend will travel down a long road that brings them nothing but pain and misery, with death comprising the only means through which to achieve peace of mind. Ultimately, all that they can do is make sure they deal an equitable amount of grief to their adversaries in turn.
	The Legend of Dragoon review (PSX) Reviewed on August 06, 2005 It's a game that has a story to tell. And hidden within the plot's ever-present twists and turns, it tries to give you something new. It craves to wow you, and it tries so hard to impress because it so wants to put itself on the map.

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