Review Archives (All Reviews)
You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Sprung: A Game Where Everyone Scores review (DS)Reviewed on May 26, 2005Sprung is being caught by your mother, jerking off to a lingerie catalogue. Sprung is feeling up your best friend's sister as he walks into the room. Sprung is a terrible, terrible game, and one that's every bit as embarrassing for UBI Soft as it is for players. Flawed in conception, doomed in execution, and about as titillating as a repressed Anglican housewife, the DS's only flirting sim proves to be a massive, if not inevitable, exercise in frustration. |
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Dragon Force review (SAT)Reviewed on May 23, 2005Sequels can be a mess and remakes can teeter on the edge of a needle between outstanding and horrific. While I’m adamant about never begging for anything, I surely wouldn’t be opposed to send a request letter Sega’s way asking them for a re-introduced version of Dragon Force. Of what few epics the Saturn actually produced—most of them being Roleplaying/Strategy games—Dragon Force is the only one that, in my opinion, could go head to head with Shining Force and hold its own. Coming from me that’s... |
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Pepsiman review (PSX)Reviewed on May 22, 2005The problem is though, how do you turn a popular series of TV advertisements into a half way decent video game? OK, so there's no easy answer. From a purely corporate perspective, you'd probably want to fill such a title with any number of product placements, perhaps even looping the campaign's catchy jingle as well. Right then, check, check and double check, but what of the game itself? |
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Mortal Kombat II review (GB)Reviewed on May 22, 2005Much like its console counterparts, the Gameboy version of Mortal Kombat II improves on pretty much everything the first did. However, Acclaim wouldn't be Acclaim until they go completely blind and look past two very distinct problems. The engine isn't too thrilling, either. |
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Max Payne review (MAC)Reviewed on May 21, 2005The pallid light bursting from my Macintosh was the only thing my burning eyes were registering at this ungodly hour. It was 4 AM. This time belonged to the street urchins, the disease flowing through the bloodstream of this audibly dying monument to good old American ingenuity, know-how, and monstrous excess. It made my head spin just thinking about all the pests I had exterminated the past few days, with the help of two friends I kept very close to my side. In thigh holsters to be precise. The... |
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Mickey's Ultimate Challenge review (GEN)Reviewed on May 21, 2005The Kingdom of Beanwick is in turmoil! The sky is rumbling and no one knows why. Could this be the end of the world?! While the citizens are too busy not caring, Mickey and Minnie try to get to the bottom of this by going through a number of simple-minded puzzles. Only then will they be able to face Mickey's Ultimate Challenge (what? Minnie's name is absent from the title? I smell discrimination!): another puzzle! |
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May Club review (PC)Reviewed on May 21, 2005Hajime Kudo is a glass half-empty kind of guy. He’s just graduated from university and already landed a decent job, so it seems he’s on his way to enjoying a carefree bachelor lifestyle. But that’s precisely the problem. Convinced that beginning his career without a companion will doom him to eternal solitude, Hajime resolves to spend the totality of the next month and a half on one singular activity: finding a girlfriend. He will not eat. He will not bathe. He will not be merry until meet... |
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JAST USA Memorial Collection review (PC)Reviewed on May 20, 2005With its insane dialogue and crazy sex scenes, it's hard not to laugh at "lucky" Hiroaki's adventure. Towards the end, when Runaway City tries to equate charisma with rape, the game crosses the line from slapstick to unintentional hilarity. |
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God of War review (PS2)Reviewed on May 20, 2005God of War is a game that channels the pitiless wrath of ancient Greek gods and warriors. The ads ominously proclaim that “a new myth will be written in the blood of the old,” and I’ll be damned if the designers of this game haven’t gone out and done just that. |
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Ten Pin Alley review (PSX)Reviewed on May 20, 2005Let’s just admit—right now—that we don’t play sports games for the story. While some elements of an intriguing nature could be placed into some of the bigger genres, even Solid Snake couldn’t add any plot to a bowling game. While that’s known and accepted, we instead try our hands for the entertainment and the realism of a sports game—even if it is bowling. If this is a well known fact—that the more realistic and down to earth a sports game is the better—then someone needs to tell ASC the makers... |
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Metal Gear Solid review (PSX)Reviewed on May 18, 2005Near the end of Metal Gear Solid, Liquid Snake, the terrorist leader who's (deep breath now) using a captured secret nuclear-armed prototype mech to blackmail the U.S. government into, among other things, sending over the remains of his father (AKA "Big Boss") to be used to repair the DNA of his army of clones and achieve his father's dream of an impregnable fortress from which to begin world domination (whew!), describes his plot to retrieve his father's remains as an example of the "sel... |
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Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance review (PS2)Reviewed on May 18, 2005Oh, it starts out promising. Chat with a barmaid with toned abs and silicone implants (good implants, mind you), and then take a giant-rat-killing job in the town sewers to get back at the thieves who robbed me of every last coin? Sign me up! And wow, Tolkien-land never looked this good! I've seen malls that weren't as clean as these sewers! And great Caesar's ghost! the water in this game flows and ripples and splishes and splashes just like the water in my bathtub does! PlayStati... |
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Hitman: Codename 47 review (PC)Reviewed on May 16, 2005Much of Agent 47's life is shrouded in darkness. His life, limited to the day of his awakening from a deep sleep, is incomplete and mysterious. All that can be recalled is escaping from a damp hospital prison and following a cackling, crazy voice from a man he never knew--his father. |
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Shining the Holy Ark review (SAT)Reviewed on May 16, 2005I don't like to hang onto most games after I've beaten them. While everything loses its luster after time, I have no qualms about keeping nearly every "Shining" game ever made. Shining the Holy Ark is just another example of why I never trade them in for something new and why I continue to play them long after the system is geriatric. Although this game returns to its roots and pits you against monsters in a first person style (Much like shining in the darkness) you won’t find yourself missing t... |
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Kishin Douji Zenki FX: Vajra Fight review (PCFX)Reviewed on May 15, 2005When the frog-like demon Razurou zooms by on his personal jet and the fast-paced battle music kicks in, it's hard not to be distracted by the ridiculous number of clouds scrolling through the sky, and that's part of what makes the ensuing battle so dangerous. |
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XIII review (XBX)Reviewed on May 15, 2005For the last several years, comic books have been slowly making a stronger impact on the more popular of medias. DC and Marvel characters alone have caused a recent wave of blockbuster hits and even comics with smaller cult followings, such as Spawn and Hellboy, have created quite the stir on their own. The recent success has sparked a race to see which company can cash in on this growing trend. Activision scored Spider-man, Eurocom is the latest developer for Batman, and Superman has been whore... |
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The Secret of Monkey Island review (PC)Reviewed on May 15, 2005When you're not sweeping your mouse frantically across the screen searching for any objects you may have missed, you're trying to decode the humorous and engaging puzzles. When the solutions to said puzzles infuriatingly evade you, the laugh-out-loud moments the game throws your way eases your frustration. |
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Dragon Ball Z Budokai 2 review (GCN)Reviewed on May 14, 2005Dragonball Z: Budokai was a major disappointment; only the most hardcore of hardcore Dragonball Z fans could look at it and say: “Boy that sure was fun!” It pushed forward some innovative ideas about how a 3-D Dragonball game should be played but it ruined it by dropping these glass ideas on jagged rocks. However, we can now put those troubles behind us and play Budokai 2, a game that fixed all of the originals problems with a few swift strokes. The fighting was more interactive, the story mo... |
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Archer Mclean's Mercury review (PSP)Reviewed on May 14, 2005About 14 years ago, there was a fantastic game about called Jimmy White's Whirlwind Snooker, which was one of the only sport simulation type of games that I've ever liked, thanks partly to its sense of humour and believable AI, but thanks mostly to the fact that it was fun to play. Not long after it came out, there was a sequel - Archer Maclean's Pool. I'd never heard of Archer Maclean before, but I always assumed he was a well known pool player, and the makers of the game had seen fit to attach... |
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Stretch Panic review (PS2)Reviewed on May 13, 2005Many people aren’t even aware that a company named Treasure exists, but its unique, refreshing games have garnered a small but fervent fanbase. The name Treasure is appropriate, because most of their games are just that—offbeat gems that too few experience. Games like Mischief Makers, Gunstar Heroes, and Radiant Silvergun are revered by some, but unknown to many. |
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