Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean review (GCN) Reviewed on February 04, 2005 The Ocean; a vast area of water over millions of square kilometers, many points reaching a depth of under thirty kilometers below sea level. Creatures survive in spite of water pressure that would make a human explode in under a thousandth of a second, utter lack of sunlight, and very little botanical wildlife. Despite man’s subjugation of land over tens of thousands of years, the Ocean is a mysterious place that we know little of.
	Stretch Panic review (PS2) Reviewed on February 04, 2005 Konami, Axelay, Gunstar Heroes, yada yada yada. Now that I’ve exhaustively covered the complete game development history of Treasure, the review can begin.
	Line of Fire review (SMS) Reviewed on February 04, 2005 Line Of Fire starts you off infiltrating an enemy base sometime in the future during a conflict probably with a third world county. Inside, Jack discovers a superweapon that could threaten the livelihood of millions all over the globe. However, his foe won't let him waltz off just yet. Seconds after discovering their secret, the elite guards are on Jack immediately. Time to make a great escape.
	World of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck review (GEN) Reviewed on February 04, 2005 Following the primitive flop that was Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle but prior to Sonic’s high-speed assault on the gaming market, Sega released another cute platformer, a slow burner that won over many a player’s heart without the slightest bit of hype. Sales didn’t tell the whole story: Castle of Illusion received the same sort of lavish praise that Sonic the Hedgehog garnered, and is thought of in the same fond light to this very day by those who were prudent enough to...
	Nightmare Creatures review (N64) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 Let the darkness consume you as red drifts into the black night.
	City Connection review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 The problem is that all the timing in the world may not always be enough to save you. This is because some of the enemy sprites move so quickly and come so unexpectedly from off screen that only lightning-fast reflexes will save you. Worse, you have to be at the right level in order for an oil can shot to do any good.
	The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 You’ll have to ride portable gun turrets throughout most of the stage, often down shafts where a slightly short jump (a move all too easy to execute, unfortunately) spell certain doom. But suppose you survive these just fine. There are still the occasional weak enemies that can easily decimate your entire life meter.
	Marble Madness review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 Super Monkey Ball was quite the hit at Gamecube's launch. Sega made a great sleeper hit that has become one of the many well loved games this generation. But do all of the Monkey lovers out there know that this game is not a new concept, but is roughly based on an old game that happened to make its way to the NES? Yes, Marble Madness is in fact similar to design as its more well known and more advanced cousin. But whereas Sega’s game may be wonderfully appreciated, this one does not deserve such...
	Balloon Fight review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 In 1982, Larry Walters fulfilled his lifelong dream. By attaching 45 helium balloons to a lawn chair and armed only with a pellet gun, a radio, a camera, and some soda, he set flight. Sailing over California at 16,000 ft, he got to enjoy an impressive view (yet still forgot to take pictures) and piss off a lot of pilots. By shooting some of the balloons, he made a semi controlled descent, with a remarkable landing right into some high voltage power lines. Once safely on the ground, he was gr...
	Mega Man 7 review (SNES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 By the time Capcom was done running their Mega Man franchise into the ground on the NES, it seemed obvious something needed to change. As the sequels had poured in, it seemed each new game had fewer things to set it apart from its predecessors until the NES series culminated with Mega Man 6 — a completely unnecessary game that seemed content to merely rehash elements of the Blue Bomber’s past few outings.
	The Getaway: High Speed II review (GB) Reviewed on February 02, 2005 I like pinball, I think it's an enjoyable genre. Stay on the board for as long as possible and rake up as many points as you can. Yeah, I consider that entertaining. Now, pinball as a video game is a different story; trying to replicate the real deal into the digital form has been hit or miss. Sometimes developers nail it, while other times they fail miserably. Unfortunately, The Getaway: High Speed II falls into the latter category. Add to the fact that someone thought it was a brilliant...
	Resident Evil 4 review (GCN) Reviewed on February 02, 2005 Ok, can I just say one thing? Wow. Just... Wow. This game is a lot better than I thought it was going to be, to be completely honest. I mean, there were so many people talking about how this game was going to be so different from the other ones, that it would completely change the series. Well, I don't think it completely changes the series, so yay! Also, I know there were trailers floating around the internet. I have a trailer on my computer that shows what look like shadowy monsters and it tal...
	Ristar review (GEN) Reviewed on February 02, 2005 It never fails. Look at each and every quality videogaming system that’s ever hit the market. They all have had their share of heavily-hyped flops — those games that were awesome to hear about, but nightmarish to play. But, to balance it all out, occasionally you find a surprise. Buried deep in that system’s library, you dig up a game you’ve never heard of before. A game that proves to be one hell of a playing experience. A game like Ristar.
	Altered Beast review (GEN) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 Altered Beast is the old and rusty classic that most gamers see as poor nowadays. It was the first game on the Sega’s Mega Drive, the classic 16-bit system known better as the Genesis. It was the first of Sega’s arcade games to get a port that looked similar to its arcade counterpart. Back then it was quite big but nowadays it’s something you can get some cheap thrills out of and play again at a later date.
	Deja Vu: A Nightmare Comes True review (NES) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 Wine cellars, back room casinos and more serve to set the plot somewhere just after Prohibition ended. Throw in a few alleys that connect everything—you can’t just walk boldly down the street when you’re wanted, after all—and you still don’t have more than what amounts to perhaps a city street or two. It’s only the secret passages and such that make this quest feel any larger than it is.
	Ape Escape Academy review (PSP) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 The problem is though, try as they might, monkeys are not very good at imitating other people. Sure, dressing one up in a suit and giving it a cigarette may make us all smile, but its constant ass slapping and habitual masturbation is hardly the definition of quality entertainment. And that becomes an all too fitting caveat made doubly relevant once Piposaru Academia gets underway.
	Phantasy Star Online review (DC) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Imagine playing a console game online with a bunch of friends that are named after DBZ characters. Imagine playing a game where you can communicate with just about anybody in the world. Imagine playing a game that is so incredibly addictive, you forget to eat and sleep for a three days straight. Imagine all that, and you find yourself Sonic Team's innovative installment of the old Phantasy Star series called Phantasy Star Online.
	Alien Storm review (GEN) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Alien Storm was released in 1990 and was yet another arcade game by Sega, which joined the ranks along with other arcade classics such as Altered Beast and Golden Axe. This game was released in the arcades and a few home versions for Sega's systems, the Master System and Mega Drive and a not so good port of the game was also dumped on the NES. The 16-bit version was the best of the home conversions and was a nice addition to the growing Mega Drive collection. Unlike most of Sega's arcade games ...
	The Legend of Zelda review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Link moves with the elfish grace you might expect from his size. A quick thrust of the sword is enough to vanquish most foes, and when it’s not a secondary slash will do (at least, throughout most of the game). All he has to fear is the stream of fireballs Hyrule’s mermaid-like monsters launch from various rivers and lakes, as only a magical shield can deflect such attacks. Later, there are some projectiles even that armament won’t defend against.
	Snake Rattle 'N Roll review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 To reach the archway you see at the very top, you must zig-zag your way along a series of jumps. You leap forward, grinning because you know you can’t possibly miss the landing. And then you do. And again, and again. Many of these jumps aren’t straight, either. Some require you to wrap your way around a cliff mid-air. The problem is, it’s often hard to tell which move is required.

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