Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Viewpoint review (GEN) Reviewed on September 03, 2005 Since the Genesis is home to a bijillion shoot-em-ups, it really takes something interesting to make one of these titles stand out from the crowd; Divine Sealing has a "women feel pain when their clothes get removed" gimmick, Metallic Uniframe Super Hybrid Armor has whatever the hell that game was known for, and in this case, Viewpoint has a unique perspective. Unfortunately, this game's selling point ends up screwing with the gameplay, making a rather average shoot-em-up pr...
	Whip Rush 2222 AD review (GEN) Reviewed on September 01, 2005 If you want to give Renovation credit for one thing when they released Whip Rush 2222 A.D. for the Genesis in 1990, praise them for knowing how to copy from good games.
	The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction review (GCN) Reviewed on September 01, 2005 He is the most physically powerful being ever imagined, the living embodiment of mortal strength. Not faster than a speeding bullet, but far more powerful than a locomotive, and capable of leaping miles in a single bound. His enemies are legion; as strong as they are numerous, infinitely persistent. But never enough. Before him, people flee. Behind him, cities crumble. Not a villain, not a hero, not anything in between. He is a force of nature given flesh. Random. Fierce. Unstoppable. Irresistib...
	Axelay review (SNES) Reviewed on August 31, 2005 When it comes to this genre, I can safely say that I am no expert. Taking advice from veterans and shooter connoisseurs and after being chronically depressed by the marathon levels in Space Megaforce, I came across Laxe.
	KISS Psycho Circus: The Nightmare Child review (DC) Reviewed on August 31, 2005 Now take a second to reflect; someone out there thought it would be a good idea to take an aging rock band and throw them into a video game. Consider with horror the fate we would suffer if this trend would have caught on. Ziggy Stardust's Pro Skateboarding would be a hit, equalled only by QueenFighter II.
	Riviera: The Promised Land review (GBA) Reviewed on August 28, 2005 Riviera: The Promised Land was one of the most kick-ass games ever released on the underachieving WonderSwan Crystal. Its GBA incarnation features loads of new voices (that's good) and majorly cutified character designs (that's bad), but otherwise it's a byte-by-byte port of the original. In other words, Riviera's still (almost) as awesome as it ever was.
	Pac 'n Roll review (DS) Reviewed on August 26, 2005 When you swipe the stylus across the screen, his counterpart in the top screen will move a bit. If you repeatedly make quick but short strokes, he’ll sort of wander about as desired. Swift and longer brushes, particularly those executed in a gattling-gun sort of sense, will send him flying along the various ledges and hills and whatever else is in sight. That’s almost all there is to controlling Pac-Man. Almost.
	Secret Scout in the Temple of Demise review (NES) Reviewed on August 26, 2005 You find yourself in a dense jungle, just one pudgy little boy scout all alone. Walking along, you see a lone savage, crouching atop a temple. He lunges at you, knife in hand. Your only hope is to stave him off with your kung fu knowledge, kicking him mercilessly until he falls. But beware, as some, um, things are flying at you as well. I think they're traffic cones. Skillfully weave your way through these hazardous safety cones and destroy the vile savage. Free to move onward, you find a...
	Dash Galaxy in the Alien Asylum review (NES) Reviewed on August 26, 2005 I laughed when I first saw the box art to this game. Hopefully most of you know of Flash Gordon, the old pulp sc-fi hero who fought Ming the Merciless and the subject of a 1980 movie. This movie is, objectively, rather poor, but is still incredibly fun to watch. You can't help but smile at the horrid lines ("What do you mean, 'Flash Gordon approaching?'"), the hammed up acting, the blatant 1950s look, the brilliant cheesy yet heart pounding theme song, and the goofy plot. Well, it's obvious ...
	Conker: Live & Reloaded review (XBX) Reviewed on August 25, 2005 Conker: Live and Reloaded will be a real treat for those who dug his original N64 outing. I never played it but I was hounded constantly about its hilarious take on adult themes in a cartoon like environment. Due to my uncaring attitude towards the N64, I never experienced the original Conker for myself and for years was barraged by my sixty-four fan friends about how great Conker’s Bad Fur Day was. I won’t lie, placing adult themes and situations in a cartoon world is a rather original conce...
	Bio-Hazard Battle review (GEN) Reviewed on August 25, 2005 Inverting Expectations
	Virtua Fighter 4 review (PS2) Reviewed on August 22, 2005 An odd thing happened to me today. As I was sitting at my computer, working on this and working on that and wishing I had something better to do on a Friday night, I saw a funny thing lying in my game rack. Sitting right at the bottom, neatly wedged between my copy of Grandia that doesn’t work because I got Vaseline on it and the copy of Wuthering Heights which will never be returned to my 12th grade English teacher because I don’t give enough of a damn, sat Virtua Fighter 4.
	Sigma Star Saga review (GBA) Reviewed on August 22, 2005 As you wander about, beams of light sometimes begin to rise around your body and you won’t be able to move. In terms of plot, this means one of the ships is asking the armor you wear for assistance. In terms of gameplay, it means you’ve just been invited to a mandatory random battle. Before you can resume whatever you were doing, you must pilot your craft through a side-scrolling shooter stage.
	Twinkle Star Sprites: La Petite Princesse review (PS2) Reviewed on August 21, 2005 It's a strange old world we live in when someone can look down on you for playing a game like Twinkle Star Sprites: La Petite Princesse. Explaining that it's the latest in Playmore's line-up of rejuvenated, Neo Geo classics does nothing for your cause, such mega street cred soon lost on a dozen incredulous looks and a patronizing pat on the back.
	Metroid Prime review (GCN) Reviewed on August 19, 2005 Nothing beats a nice walk around the jungle. You have the beautiful rain that you appreciate for its glory as you watch it slowly drip down on your visor, the planet's various plants that look so welcoming, the peaceful creatures that are simply trying to make ends meet, but then suddenly the music shifts from relaxing tunes to upbeat music that the Space Pirates always play everytime they make their entrance. Ahh the same space pirates that feared Samus in their previous meeting on Zebes, whe...
	Chessmaster review (PS2) Reviewed on August 19, 2005 As a reviewer, I think the highest praise I can get is to hear someone tell me that, because they read my review, they feel compelled to go out and buy the game. There’s just something about having that sort of influence, that ability to impact someone else’s perspective…priceless. Makes me feel like I’m doing something right.
	Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday review (GEN) Reviewed on August 18, 2005 It's the 25th century, and as you would expect, much has changed. Space travel is a reality, and the Earth's surrounding planets have not only been terraformed, but found supporting their own respective lifeforms and even the various groups of asteroids that float willy-nilly around the solar system now have established colonies springing from them. Humanity has grown beyond the boundaries of the Earth - which is just as well, seeing as it is close to uninhabitable, thanks to the toxic dump it h...
	Baku Baku Animal review (SMS) Reviewed on August 18, 2005 The majority of puzzle games are low quality rip-offs of some the genre’s finest titles. Most of them are mere imitators that don’t even come close to the sheer quality of the original title such as Oh My God ( Atlus’s Puyo Puyo clone) shows us that. Others try hard to push different a method of stacking blocks forward but fails rather miserably. Baku Baku Animal is one example of this as it produces a rather different approach to the puzzle game but proves to be dull, awkward and repet...
	Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome review (PS2) Reviewed on August 18, 2005 Any character can learn the skills associated with any of the numerous classes available in the game. This means that you can start a character out as a witch, learn a few powerful spells, then switch her over to the archer class to boost her strength and speed. Any reincarnated party member retains the stat-boosting skills he or she may have gained in the previous life. The minute you grasp this concept, its enormity hits you like a Mac truck.
	Gitaroo-Man review (PS2) Reviewed on August 18, 2005 I have always hated references to "those crazy Japanese." It's a stereotypical comment that pigeon-holes an incredibly diverse culture. So what if they have heated toilet seats and talking toasters? We have hot dogs and Marilyn Manson. Every time I think I'm making headway with this argument, I get a game like Gitaroo-Man to throw all logic out the window. Honestly, how do you convince anyone that battling an Elvis impersonator in a bee costume is normal? Music games like Parappa the Rapper, Bus...

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