Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Gargoyle's Quest review (GB) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 Games, at least to me, are my past time. While other children were out digging their baseball kleets in dirt or breaking their noses getting hit by footballs I was blistering my thumbs on nearly every system ever made. I had so many games they all seem like a jumbled mass inside my head if I think about them now. Very, very few stand out and sadly, only about one for each system. There was, and will always be, only one for the gameboy. A game few have probably heard of and even less have played....
	True Lies review (SNES) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 Considering all the options available these days, there’s no excuse for True Lies to continue existing. Someone should gather the cartridges, bundle them with a two-ton weight and toss them into a massive swimming pool. Then maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger can fire a rocket launcher at them, just for good measure. The world would be a better place.
	Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team review (SNES) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 There’s a reason for this irritating flaw, though: Rare wanted you to play with a friend. Though the game lets thugs gang up on you and throw you into an endless circle of punishment, you and a buddy can turn the tables. One of you can be a toad, the other a human. Or maybe you both like characters named after skin ailments. Whatever the case, having a friend along improves the experience.
	Jackal review (NES) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 Back in 1988, Konami-designed Metal Gear hit America and earned release on the NES. Its combination of action and espionage was critically acclaimed and paved the way for one of the most successful franchises of recent memory.
	Dark Cloud review (PS2) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 But the very worst thing about Dark Cloud is that by the time you’ve played enough of the game to realise what a dull experience it is, you’ve invested so many hours into your adventure, that giving up means damning all your work into oblivion. Odds are you’ll just grit your teeth, and carry on.
	PQ: Practical Intelligence Quotient review (PSP) Reviewed on June 02, 2005 When opening a review, the writer is supposed to talk about something that's relevant to the subject at hand. A theme must be established and through a series of brief observations, readers should be given a glimpse of what is to come. I am stupid.
	The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures review (GCN) Reviewed on June 01, 2005 Nintendo's commitment to creative design is clear, but it can be difficult to enjoy when it comes in a form seemingly fathered by the same ruthless pimping that sees Mario crying himself to sleep at nights.
	Animal Crossing review (GCN) Reviewed on May 31, 2005 Animal Crossing was in my Christmas stocking last year. I had begged my mother to purchase it for me even though she was pretty damn reluctant. “David, this game looks like it’s for kids!” she moaned at me but I didn’t care. From what I’d heard, Animal Crossing was one of the most innovative and enjoyable titles for the Gamecube and I needed a new title to get me back into it. After being disappointed by Nintendo’s old school rebirths like Super Mario and Metroid Prime, I needed a fresh per...
	Jade Empire review (XBX) Reviewed on May 31, 2005 I've only played two Bioware games: Jade Empire and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I'm already convinced that Bioware is a lazy or maybe just complacent group of game designers. Guys, you clearly know what you're doing, and I'm not advocating an EA-style 100 work week, but maybe the next time around you should spend a couple of extra Saturdays in the office polishing your product?
	Viper V-16 review (PC) Reviewed on May 30, 2005 Rise follows three young girls, and whether you turn right or left at each of the two junctions determines who (if anyone) gets kidnapped and raped. Squeezed in and around your three in-game choices are some lurid story scenes. My favorite scene is when the two brainwashed women seduce the third girl — every hentai game needs some hot lesbian action!
	Metal Slug 4 & 5 review (PS2) Reviewed on May 30, 2005 Metal Slug 5 is certainly worth playing through a couple times for the splendid sightseeing, and once again after that for the stupendous boss battles; as a fraction of a larger compilation, it'd be great. As the saving grace of a $40 "collection" containing only it and the prosaic Metal Slug 4, however, it comes up a bit short.
	Lord of the Rings: The Third Age review (GBA) Reviewed on May 30, 2005 LotR games have been hitting the various consoles lately, and every time a GBA companion game was released as well. While The Two Towers and Return of the King got Diablo-ish hack & slash companion games on the GBA, The Third Age opts to be a tactics RPG instead; a solid choice as this kind of game works really well for the "pick up and play for a bit" attitude that often accompanies handheld gaming. While it's not the best of its kind to be released on the GBA, and it has trouble with some of t...
	Zone of the Enders: The Fist of Mars review (GBA) Reviewed on May 28, 2005 When one thinks of Japanese culture, they’re most likely to think of four things; anime and manga, giant mechs, video games, and pop (no, not the carbonated beverage). When you combine the former two, you get top-notch shows such as Gundam Wing or Evangelion. When you combine the first three, you get many notable games and series, with the most recent big-name series being that of Hideo Kojima's Zone of the Enders. In Zone of the Enders, humankind has advanced beyond ...
	Ninja Gaiden review (XBX) Reviewed on May 26, 2005 Ninja Gaiden is a superior piece of software. It resembles nothing so much as an exquisitely engineered piece of machinery, and that's both Ninja Gaiden's majesty and its weakness: it works so exquisitely, but it often feels more like a collection of well-oiled parts than a videogame.
	Devil May Cry 2 review (PS2) Reviewed on May 26, 2005 Super Mario Bros. is the first videogame I ever played, and I loved it. I’ve conquered other electronic worlds, but you always remember your first time. Mine happened to be with the seminal effort that turned the slumping mid-80s gaming scene on its head.
	The Punisher review (XBX) Reviewed on May 26, 2005 The last time Frank Castle was in the video game limelight was in 1993; he and Nick Fury beat the crap out of countless thugs and finally brought down Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin. It was one of Capcom’s finest work and an easy arcade classic that captured the gritty world of the Punisher well, without having to resort to over the top violence.
	Sprung: A Game Where Everyone Scores review (DS) Reviewed on May 26, 2005 Sprung is being caught by your mother, jerking off to a lingerie catalogue. Sprung is feeling up your best friend's sister as he walks into the room. Sprung is a terrible, terrible game, and one that's every bit as embarrassing for UBI Soft as it is for players. Flawed in conception, doomed in execution, and about as titillating as a repressed Anglican housewife, the DS's only flirting sim proves to be a massive, if not inevitable, exercise in frustration.
	Dragon Force review (SAT) Reviewed on May 23, 2005 Sequels can be a mess and remakes can teeter on the edge of a needle between outstanding and horrific. While I’m adamant about never begging for anything, I surely wouldn’t be opposed to send a request letter Sega’s way asking them for a re-introduced version of Dragon Force. Of what few epics the Saturn actually produced—most of them being Roleplaying/Strategy games—Dragon Force is the only one that, in my opinion, could go head to head with Shining Force and hold its own. Coming from me that’s...
	Pepsiman review (PSX) Reviewed on May 22, 2005 The problem is though, how do you turn a popular series of TV advertisements into a half way decent video game? OK, so there's no easy answer. From a purely corporate perspective, you'd probably want to fill such a title with any number of product placements, perhaps even looping the campaign's catchy jingle as well. Right then, check, check and double check, but what of the game itself?
	Mortal Kombat II review (GB) Reviewed on May 22, 2005 Much like its console counterparts, the Gameboy version of Mortal Kombat II improves on pretty much everything the first did. However, Acclaim wouldn't be Acclaim until they go completely blind and look past two very distinct problems. The engine isn't too thrilling, either.

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